Let go
Half-asleep, Jiang Mian suddenly heard a faint sound. At first, she thought she was dreaming, but the sound lingered and seemed to be right next to her ear.
She suddenly opened her eyes and carefully listened; the sound was indeed coming from next door.
next door……
That's Shen Ji's study.
Jiang Mian paused as she was about to get up, a conflicted look in her eyes. It was rather improper for her to go to his room in the dead of night, but the sound made it seem as if he had overturned something. Jiang Mian gritted her teeth and thought for a moment before getting out of bed and opening the window.
It was pitch black outside, and the snow was falling silently. She looked around but couldn't see a single person.
She remembered that when she was in the Shen family mansion, Shen Ji was always accompanied by someone. Even during the time she was imprisoned, people were sent to guard her day and night.
Jiang Mian pursed her lips and remained silent for a moment. Seeing the window next door being blown open by the wind, she finally pushed open the door and stepped into the next room.
Unexpectedly, the room was a bit cold. She frowned and went forward. The charcoal brazier had gone out at some point, and the books on the table were scattered on the floor. The person lying in the middle was Shen Ji.
Jiang Mian was feeling conflicted. Without time to think too much, she helped him up and called out to him twice. The young man's brows furrowed tightly, as if he had fallen into a coma.
"Cousin, wake up."
She placed her hand on his forehead, but the burning heat immediately made her pull her hand back. The young man seemed to sense this and slightly opened his eyes.
“Mian’er…” He wanted to touch her, but his hands were weak and powerless. After a lot of effort, he could only touch the hem of her clothes.
"Don't go..."
Even so, he stubbornly clung to that corner of his clothes, like a child who had finally obtained a beloved possession and refused to let go.
Jiang Mian felt a tightness in her chest. She shouldn't have had any interaction with him, but given the current situation, she could hardly bear to leave him.
Are you sick?
"No, it's just a cold, nothing serious." Shen Ji smiled. He felt at ease smelling her scent. In the past six months, without her by his side, he had hardly had a good night's sleep.
"Where is Yun Qing? Where are your bodyguards?" Jiang Mian didn't want to get entangled with him any longer. The longer she stayed here, the more complicated her feelings became.
“They’re not here.” Shen Ji lowered his eyes and coughed a few times. He seemed unwilling to explain further, his fingertips gripping her sleeve tightly, as if that would prevent her from leaving.
"Shen Ji, you have a fever!" Jiang Mian couldn't help but remind him. She looked at him and saw that he didn't seem to care about his health at all.
"Well, you can leave if you need to." The young man forced a bitter smile onto his pale face as he slowly loosened his grip on her sleeve.
leave?
He knew perfectly well that she wouldn't leave him to fend for himself, yet she said such things now. Jiang Mian's already complicated feelings suddenly turned into anger.
"Fine, since you don't want me here, why did you make such a fuss for no reason? Why did you have to move everyone away at this time? Shen Ji, didn't you just want to see if I have you in my heart? Once I leave this door today, I won't be coming back."
After saying that, Jiang Mian stood up without hesitation. She had been with him for so long, and even if she was naive, she knew why he had made such a scene tonight.
How could Shen Ji, who had always been noble and aloof, tolerate himself being so humble and dejected?
He was testing her with his body to see if she would soften her heart.
Jiang Mian understood this principle, but she just couldn't control her anger.
She couldn't explain why she was angry.
“Mian’er…”
Jiang Mian stopped in her tracks.
"You still came. You still care about me." Shen Ji raised his eyes, a deep light flashing in them.
There was no need to pretend anymore now that his scheme had been exposed. He had indeed intended to do so, but seeing her distress and anxiety, he felt little joy, but rather a brief, bittersweet feeling.
“Even if a stranger were to die in front of me today, I would not stand idly by. My willingness to save lives shows that I am kind. Lord Shen, don’t try to glorify yourself.” Jiang Mian couldn’t help but retort.
Shen Ji was suddenly amused. He propped himself up from the ground. Although he had intended to deceive her, he was genuinely ill. He had been working hard for days and had stood in the cold wind all night after witnessing her intimate behavior with Jiang Qiyu. His long-term illness had made him feel quite unwell.
So much so that I was a little unsteady when I first got up, but I recovered quickly.
He approached, his gaze fixed on her eyes, and said gently, "Mian'er, don't be angry. Jiang Qiyu can't protect you. If you're smart, you should know that only I can help you climb up the social ladder, and only I can stay by your side."
That was absolutely true. However, Jiang Mian, who was still angry, suddenly laughed: "Whether he can protect me or not is not important. What is important is who I like."
"As long as I like him, even if he has no power or influence and is just an ordinary person, I am willing to stay with him."
Those who know each other well understand best how to hurt each other. Jiang Mian lowered her eyes and closed them. She knew that these words would definitely anger Shen Ji, but she was really tired. Rather than continuing to entangle with him, she would rather cut off this unhealthy relationship as soon as possible. Anyway, there would be no result.
The snow outside seemed to have stopped, and the frozen ground looked exceptionally smooth.
Shen Ji stopped walking and fell silent.
Every word she spoke felt like a knife stabbing into his chest.
like?
The word that was once only spoken to him has now become a sharp blade, stuck in his heart.
The feeling of suffocation was overwhelming him.
Never before had he felt so powerless. He could use inhuman means to force her to stay, but he couldn't make her heart stay as well.
But she clearly said it before.
I only like him.
Shen Ji almost lost his balance. It took him a long time to look up at her again. Her resolute face and ruthless attitude made everything he had done seem like a joke.
No one dared to treat him like that.
He deceived her time and time again.
But it just so happened that it was her, and he was helpless, feeling as if his heart was bleeding.
Admit it.
I was tricked by her.
Admit it.
She doesn't love you.
Even if you are humble and helpless, and try every means possible, you still cannot make her turn back.
Never before had Shen Ji felt such a strong urge to kill.
If Jiang Mian didn't exist, if he hadn't allowed her to get close to him, would none of this have happened today?
However, the thought of losing her and having all those beautiful memories faded away also made him feel terrible.
Shen Ji suddenly turned his back, his fingertips clenched tightly, and after a long while, he said, "Jiang Mian, you chose this path yourself. You don't care about what I like. From now on, we will be strangers."
As the dark clouds dispersed, the bright moonlight shone down. Jiang Mian was stunned for a moment. At that moment, she suddenly had an indescribable feeling. She clearly and obviously felt that Shen Ji seemed to have made a certain decision, a decision that changed because of her.
Her gaze softened as she stared at his retreating figure. Instead of feeling the relief she had expected, she felt a strange mix of emotions.
She knew that at this moment, Shen Ji was truly letting go.
From now on, he will no longer be a part of her life.
Isn't this exactly what she wanted?
She had deliberately seduced him, and he had sabotaged her marriage. They had been entangled for so long that it was impossible to say who owed whom. Now that they were even, it was the best outcome.
Thinking of this, Jiang Mian nodded: "I will be leaving tomorrow, cousin, please take care."
After saying that, she turned around, intending to remind him to take care of himself, but she didn't know how to start. Although they were going their separate ways, Jiang Mian hoped that he could live a good life in places she couldn't see.
The footsteps faded into the distance, the door opened and closed again, and the room returned to silence, as if no one had ever been there.
Shen Ji, who was holding on tightly, suddenly lost his balance, clutched his chest and spat out a mouthful of blood. He slowly squatted down, but the wall between them prevented him from taking another step forward.
He suddenly remembered the cat that died when he was a child. The cat understood its owner's mood, but how could a person be so cold-hearted?
He suddenly found it utterly ridiculous, and a few muffled laughs escaped his chest. He could have ignored everything.
But she said she would hate him.
He was afraid she would hate him.
He was even more afraid that she wouldn't want him.
...
Jiang Mian couldn't sleep all night. After returning from the study, her mind was filled with images of Shen Ji being sick. Fortunately, Yun Qing returned late last night, so Shen Ji should have received treatment by now.
Jiang Mian was feeling a bit down. She had packed her bags early in the morning, and just as she opened the door, Yun Qing, who lived in the long corridor, suddenly opened his eyes and looked at her with a complicated expression.
"Fifth Miss, I will escort you back."
"No need, I can leave by myself." Jiang Mian was a little embarrassed. She had abandoned Shen Ji last night, and Yun Qing must be dissatisfied with her. But that was normal, after all, he was his master.
"The roads are slippery with snow, Miss, you should let me escort you, lest..." Yun Qing stopped speaking at the right moment, her gaze unconsciously drifting towards the study.
Jiang Mian didn't notice his actions. She could have gone back alone, but Yun Qing was stubborn, so Jiang Mian had no choice but to agree to his request.
Fortunately, the journey wasn't long. Along the way, Jiang Mian was in a state of turmoil. The image of Shen Ji being weak and powerless last night kept flashing through her mind. Although he seemed to be fine, Jiang Mian knew that he was burning up and must have a persistent high fever.
She nervously twisted the handkerchief in her palm, hesitated for a moment, and then asked, "Has your young master's fever subsided?"
Yun Qing moved his lips, as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he just shook his head. He was just a servant and should not interfere in his master's affairs. But last night, when the young master was unconscious, he was still calling out the name of the Fifth Miss. Yet the Fifth Miss was so heartless and wanted to leave early this morning.
"...Why did he suddenly develop a high fever?" Jiang Mian couldn't help but ask.
"Because of you." Yun Qing frowned and hesitated for a long time, but still couldn't help but speak up.
Whether the young master blames him or punishes him, since the young master won't speak, it's up to him to say it.
“Across from your courtyard is a small courtyard that has been uninhabited for a long time. You bought it, but the wind is strong at night and the windows have not been repaired. The cold wind has been blowing in for days, and anyone would find it unbearable, let alone you, young master, who suffers from a cold.”
The carriage moved slowly, and Jiang Mian was filled with unease.
No wonder she felt like someone was secretly watching her those few days; it wasn't her imagination, but that he really was observing her life in secret.
Jiang Mian sighed.
"But don't worry, Miss, that house was sold yesterday. The young master said you don't like him bothering you, and he knows that."
Yun Qing recalled the young master's instructions before he left: he was not allowed to utter a single word. But he couldn't do it. He had been with the young master for many years and this was the first time he had seen such a scene. He didn't know what would happen if he said these words, but he hoped that the Fifth Miss would turn back.
The capital city is not like Jeju Island; it is treacherous and unpredictable. The Fifth Miss is still too naive. She always wanted to escape from the young master, but she didn't know that people more dangerous than the young master often lurk in the shadows.
"We've arrived, Fifth Miss. I'll leave you here."
The carriage slowly came to a stop in front of the Jiang residence. Yun Qing didn't say another word. Jiang Mian nodded. Seeing the familiar plaque, she felt not relieved at all, but rather had a feeling of being suffocated.
As she watched Yun Qing's figure gradually disappear, for some reason, her gaze suddenly fell on that long-abandoned courtyard, desolate and dilapidated, devoid of any human presence.
Did he live there for several months?
"Sister Mian, Sister Mian, you're back!"
Before he could collect his thoughts, Jiang Qiyu suddenly stepped out of the house with a joyful expression. He was still wearing the court robes he wore to the banquet the night before, and his face looked haggard, as if he hadn't slept all night.
"That's great, I thought you weren't coming back."
"Why do you say that, cousin?" Jiang Mian smiled.
Jiang Qiyu paused for a moment, then said cautiously, "I didn't know he would be there. If I had known, I wouldn't have brought you there."
Although Jiang Qiyu had never asked her directly, he knew that Jiang Mian and Shen Ji had a relationship that went beyond that of siblings; otherwise, she wouldn't have gone all the way to the capital just to avoid him.
"It's alright, he won't come again."
Jiang Qiyu was stunned and didn't react at all.
Jiang Mian stepped forward and said, "Cousin, I'm tired."
"Alright, your room has been prepared. You haven't had your meal yet, have you? I'll have someone prepare it right away..."
"No need, cousin, you've already done enough for me. I plan to learn a skill in a few days, otherwise I'll feel bad about just eating and drinking here for free." Jiang Mian pushed Jiang Qiyu forward. He was good in every way, except for one thing: he cared about her too much.
It's not that she's completely ignorant; it's precisely because she can't respond that she can't accept his kindness with a clear conscience.
She had already made a mistake once, and this time, she didn't want to hurt someone who was good to her.
"Cousin, you should hurry to court, or you'll be late."
"Okay, but you can't run around. Wait for me to come back." Jiang Qiyu said helplessly. He was about to pat her head, but she nimbly dodged it. Jiang Qiyu was a little disappointed, but he still tied her cloak.
"Don't catch a cold."
"I know." Jiang Mian was still uncomfortable. Watching Jiang Qiyu finally leave, she turned around and let out a long sigh of relief.
Cold?
With so many people taking care of him, he should be alright.
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