Love
A month later, news came from the capital.
With the Emperor's passing and the Crown Prince's whereabouts unknown, the chaos was rectified, and everything returned to the right track.
Jiang Mian had heard many rumors in the past few days. They all said that when the current emperor was a prince, he was cruel and ruthless, and loved to make a name for himself. But she never expected that he would commit treason and personally kill his own brother.
Those who were demoted for speaking up for the Crown Prince of Yong'an have all been promoted and ennobled, including the Shen family of Jizhou.
Although Old Master Shen had long since passed away, the Shen family had rendered meritorious service in supporting the new emperor. Not only was Old Master Shen's official position restored, but Old Madam Shen was also given a special reward, and the rest of the Shen family members received rewards as well.
Half a month had passed before the news arrived.
Although Jiang Mian knew she wasn't a member of the Shen family, she was happy for her maternal grandmother. If she weren't pregnant, she would have really wanted to visit her in Jeju.
Shenyan wrote her several letters, saying that she was very happy to learn that she was not dead, and that she wanted to come and see her. However, she had been busy arranging marriages for people these past few days, and had been caught and brought back several times when she tried to sneak out of the mansion. She felt that she was living a stifling life and was not as happy as before.
A warm feeling washed over Jiang Mian, and she recalled the girl who shared half of the osmanthus cake with her and who squeezed into the same bed with her in the middle of the night. She couldn't help but write her many letters.
First, she explained why she left in the first place, and then she briefly told her what had happened along the way. Now everyone knows about her relationship with Shen Ji, and she didn't hide it. However, she didn't mention that she was pregnant.
On one hand, she was afraid that Shen Yan would worry, and on the other hand, she didn't know how to bring it up.
Shen Ji has been gone for over a month.
Jiang Mian sat in the rocking chair, feeling a sudden pang of melancholy.
It's a long journey from Yangzhou to the capital, and who knows when they'll meet again.
Perhaps he has long forgotten her.
He became emperor, with three palaces, six courtyards, and seventy-two concubines.
Thinking of this, Jiang Mian snapped the branch in her palm hard. All her previous efforts kneeling before the Buddha had been in vain, and he hadn't even sent her a letter.
Whether it was because the heavens heard her heartfelt words or not, news came from the capital that evening.
Xiao Quan quickly scanned the text, but his expression was not as relaxed as expected; instead, it became serious.
Jiang Mian asked in confusion, "Commander Xiao, what did he say?"
“Miss…” Xiao Quan came to his senses and looked at the woman in front of him with complicated feelings. She was pregnant, and his master had instructed him to take good care of her.
He put the letter away, his expression returning to normal in an instant: "My master said that everything is fine, so please don't worry, young lady. He will send someone to pick you up once he has taken care of things over there."
Jiang Mian nodded, but for some reason, her eyelids kept twitching.
That night, she lay on her bed, unable to fall asleep for a long time. When she closed her eyes, Xiao Quan's expression kept replaying in her mind.
That look didn't seem like someone who was at ease.
Instead, she seemed to flinch... as if she was afraid she had discovered something.
Jiang Mian's heart was pounding wildly, and after a long while, she finally got off the bed.
As night deepened, she avoided everyone and quietly pushed open the door.
This used to be Shen Ji's study. Since he left, apart from cleaning it every day, no one comes in. But Jiang Mian knows that Xiao Quan keeps some important things here.
She was just trying her luck and didn't dare light the candles.
I sneaked in here in the dark.
His favorite things were still on the display shelf, as if he would come back, but Jiang Mian knew that perhaps he would never come here again in this lifetime.
She didn't feel too much sadness and started rummaging through the papers that looked like letters.
The top layer contains his letters used in handling official business.
She glanced at it casually, and saw nothing unusual.
As she continued scrolling down, Jiang Mian's fingertips suddenly stopped.
She saw a lifelike portrait.
The woman in the painting wears a light pink cloak, and her jet-black hair is styled into two braids that hang down in front of her. Behind her, snow is falling heavily, and she comes from the snow, holding a sprig of red plum blossom in her hand.
Bright in the eyes.
This was a sight she had never seen before; the person in the painting was actually herself.
Jiang Mian couldn't believe it; when was this painting done?
The writer seems to have a thousand attachments, able to capture seven or eight parts of her spirit.
She held the portrait, her eyes involuntarily reddening.
In small print in the lower left corner: My dearest love.
His personal seal was affixed to it.
That thick stack of papers was countless.
Jiang Mian dared not think about it, until she slowly lifted the pages, one by one, roll by roll, similar faces, different scenes, all of them the same person.
There's her innocent, dozing expression when she closes her eyes, her joyful scenes of laughing heartily, and also her anger, helplessness, and surprise...
Each one shows a different side of her.
The paper felt light, yet it felt heavy in her hands. She couldn't believe that he had painted all of these scrolls.
He never said that.
Tears blurred her vision. A blank envelope fell to the side. She slowly picked it up, thinking there was nothing there, but when she opened it...
It turned out to be his handwriting again.
“Mianniang said she doesn’t like me, but I don’t believe it. She was so close to me before, how could she not have any feelings for me?”
"She said my love was a shackle, that she didn't want to stay with me, that she wanted to leave, and I didn't know how to keep her..."
“I put a Gu poison in her body. I also have that Gu worm in my body. It will cause excruciating pain for seven days. I wanted to scare her, but seeing her suffering, I don’t know who is being tormented.”
"Mianniang finally smiled today, but not at me. She can chat happily with others, but she is very wary of me."
"She has been lying to me all along. Her liking me was fake, her using me was fake, and she was even willing to hurt herself to escape me."
"But I love her, that's true."
"Was I wrong...?"
Under the soft moonlight, Jiang Mian turned the pages of letters, her eyes completely overwhelmed with tears. When she saw the last letter, she paused for a long time, as if reflecting on herself and her inner conflict. After careful consideration, she seemed to have finally come to a conclusion.
That outcome that saddened him, broke his heart, and made him unable to breathe.
It took him a long time.
He finally realized that the person he loved didn't have feelings for him.
Holding the letter, Jiang Mian was already having trouble breathing. She leaned against the antique shelf and slowly squatted down, carefully placing the paintings that he regarded as treasures in front of her chest.
It turns out that he cared for her so much even when she couldn't see it.
She once thought that his constant control and surveillance of her meant he wasn't truly in love with her, but she never imagined that his true intentions were something she could barely bear.
She paused for a long time, but didn't forget the important matter. She continued scrolling down, and at that moment, her gaze became complicated.
Those letters that she once thought she could never find were all carefully hidden here by him.
It was a brocade box. She opened it, and inside were all women's items.
Handkerchiefs, hairpins, bracelets, earrings...
And the letter that was blown away by the wind that day.
She never paid any attention to these things under normal circumstances, but she never expected that he had hidden them all.
Inside the brocade box was a brocade pouch.
Jiang Mian opened it, and inside were two strands of hair wrapped in red thread.
At this moment, she couldn't quite describe how she felt.
Nothing is more shocking than seeing it with your own eyes. Looking at these things she used to use, it was as if she could glimpse through them how he secretly treasured them.
His love, his possessiveness, and all his unspoken thoughts.
Tonight, she saw everything about me.
Compared to intense and straightforward affection, these hidden secrets seem to penetrate the heart more directly.
Jiang Mian was not surprised. She put the things away carefully and put them back in their original places.
Then, my gaze fell on the desk.
Push aside the paperweight, and you'll immediately see the secret letter delivered by express courier.
She opened it and, by the moonlight, squinted to examine it closely.
The next moment, the girl's expression changed drastically, and the light paper fell into the moonlight.
Those two bold and unrestrained lines of text were thus exposed to the light—
"Master's life is in danger, return immediately."
The next moment, the energy that had sustained the girl all night dissipated.
She leaned on the table, barely able to stand, her steps faltering, her vision blurred.
She suddenly bit her tongue, and a rusty taste spread through her mouth.
She can't faint.
She needs to figure out what's going on.
*
late at night.
Xiao Quan counted the soldiers, got them ready to go, and prepared to depart while no one was around.
Unexpectedly, a beautiful figure suddenly appeared at the side gate. He signaled his men to leave temporarily and was about to step forward when Jiang Mian rushed over, clutching the letter in her palm.
Xiao Quan's eyes darkened.
"Commander Xiao, is what this letter says true?"
“Young lady, you…”
"Tell me, how is Shen Ji doing now?"
The cold moonlight was desolate. Even though Jiang Mian had considered the worst-case scenario, she still clung to that sliver of hope. But at this moment, the usually strong man couldn't help but tear up. He turned his head and said, "It's true."
"The imperial physician said that His Majesty only has six months left."
Jiang Mian almost lost her balance. Her mind was buzzing, and she could barely hear anything. How could such a handsome and refined man be like this? She didn't believe it. She didn't believe it until she saw it with her own eyes!
"Before he left, my master instructed me to rest and take care of my pregnancy. As for the rest, I will make the arrangements."
"Why did he suddenly become like this?" Jiang Mian grasped the key point.
Xiao Quan gave her a deep look, his gaze somewhat complicated.
He declined to answer the question.
However, the more this happened, the more uneasy Jiang Mian became. She even had a gut feeling that Shen Ji's current state was related to her. She suddenly remembered that she seemed to have lost consciousness on the night she left the capital half a year ago.
When she woke up, Song Mingyan appeared in the mountain cabin and told her that there would be no more danger.
Could it be that he appeared that night?
The poison in her body...
Could it be...?
Jiang Mian asked anxiously, "Did he become like that because of me?!"
Xiao Quan sighed, his memories returning with the cold wind. Looking at the frail woman before him, he vaguely understood why Xin Zhuo would do anything to kill her.
And why did Yun Qing protect her?
Over the days they spent together, he could sense that she was timid, weak, and sometimes even selfish. He had once thought that she was the one who made her master care about her because of her face.
But later, he watched her build nests for birds in the mansion, and watched her busy in the small kitchen while pregnant. She was lively and active, and although she often made a mess of the place, every time he told his master, his master would just slightly curl his lips and tacitly approve of her various behaviors.
Xiao Quan didn't understand at the time, but he could vaguely sense that his master was happy to hear those words.
He was by his master's side, and he was almost never seen so relaxed.
He only understood later.
If a person's heart is cold, no amount of the finest treasures can warm it back.
Once there is light, they will desperately grasp it.
For Shen Ji, Jiang Mian was like the lantern he saw in the dead of night, and the bright umbrella held up for him in the snow.
*
Xiao Quan sighed. Shen Ji was like that, and so was he. For those of them who were burdened with hatred, Shen Ji's appearance was also their unwavering faith and the hope of countless clansmen behind them.
Therefore, he cannot die.
At that moment, Xiao Quan suddenly knelt on one knee: "Please, young lady, save my master!"
Jiang Mian took a half step back in a daze, her mind a mess. Could she save Shen Ji?
“Miss, you may not know this, but Xie Zheng has the antidote for the poison in Master's body. However, his whereabouts are currently unknown. I suspect he may be in the vicinity of the capital. I will escort you back to the capital, and I will need your help then…”
Xiao Quan suddenly stopped; he simply couldn't bring himself to say those words.
Use a woman as bait.
It was truly unfair to her.
However, Jiang Mian understood. Shen Ji had become like this because of her, and even if Xiao Quan hadn't said it, she couldn't bear to see him die.
After a moment of silence, she spoke softly, "Let's do as you say."
As Xiao Quan watched that figure leave, for the first time, he felt both pathetic and helpless.
He used to think that Xin Zhuo had no bottom line.
Now, he hates himself and has become that kind of person.
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