Chapter 119 I Am Also Me (Part 7) I observe floating, just as the universe observes me...
Zhang Deng looked at Qi Lin through the smoke. Even a nobleman like Qi Lin was so humble when facing love.
In fact, Zhang Deng was moved, not because of his heartbeat, but because he seemed to see his former self.
Maybe that's how Wei Yuanye once looked at him.
I feel sorry for him, even to the point of being ridiculous.
In love, who can really stand up straight and be themselves?
Qi Lin said, "I won't force you, and you don't have to kill me. If we can really be together, let's save some face and give the future some chance. What do you think?"
Qi Lin is actually really good at negotiating and chatting. He always takes the opportunity to advance before retreating, and his words leave people with no words to refute.
Zhang Deng still had to work with him and under him, so he couldn't force his hand and said, "I'm tired. Let's go back first."
Qi Lin came from a family of scholars, after all. Unless pushed into a corner, he generally wouldn't say anything too definitive. Even though he was drunk, he knew when to advance and retreat. He said, "Forget it. Let's think about it carefully."
Sitting in the car, Zhang Deng looked at the city receding, and he suddenly thought to himself that it was easy to understand why Qi Lin was unwilling to give up. Given Qi Lin's life experience, he had never accepted in his heart that Zhang Deng might really not like him.
With such a smooth life, he must be invincible in love. He doesn't believe that there is anyone who can remain as strong as he pursues him relentlessly. Qi Lin is too confident.
Zhang Deng is different from him. Zhang Deng is begging for happiness in a humble way, like lying on the ice to seek a carp, but Qi Lin is not like that. Qi Lin is showing his love in a high-handed manner.
Qi Lin was not as pitiful as him.
It's always like this. Zhang Deng is always inexplicably awakened by some things and a memory, and then gently hurt, as if his heart was gently twisted, he gasps quickly, gasps for breath, and then returns to normal.
Zhang Deng asked Qi Lin for a long vacation in the car. He didn't plan to go to work until next Monday. He had consumed too much energy recently. Zhang Deng considered himself a very qualified worker who never felt tired. Recently, he felt a little overwhelmed. This is how startup companies are. Women are used like men, and men are used like animals. Qi Lin really didn't treat him as an outsider. All the dirty and tiring work that others couldn't do was assigned to him. Every penny Zhang Deng earned was hard-earned money.
A boy passed by Zhang Deng. Zhang Deng was a little dazed. He turned his head suddenly and looked at the boy's back. His heart sank again.
He wouldn't wear something like that.
What on earth was he doing? Zhang Deng realized that he had been stupid again. He cursed himself in his heart and turned to go upstairs.
Xiao Mi still held his tail high and wrapped around his legs to welcome him. Zhang Deng touched Xiao Mi's chin, then sat down on the ground and chatted with him for a while. He also touched his belly and paw pads and gave him a quick check.
Ever since Zhang Deng realized that Xiao Mi was no longer as lively and spent most of the day sleeping, he fell into anxiety. He took Xiao Mi for a full-body physical examination every six months and made a fuss about all his conditions. He could not resist fate, but was still really afraid of losing him.
Zhang Deng hoped that day would come as late as possible.
Xiao Mi was in good condition. Zhang Deng put down his bag, took off his coat, washed up simply, and lay down on the bed. Although he was very tired, Zhang Deng couldn't sleep. He opened his mobile phone, but no one contacted him except group messages.
Li Xin's book was completed last year. As a writer's first book, the performance is already very good. Although it is not a phenomenal hit, it is still good enough.
Zhang Deng also obtained the copyright for tens of thousands of yuan, and then slowly advanced the publishing process.
He was bored at the end of last year and felt that the time after get off work was too long, so he conceived a new plot and would write a little when he had nothing to do.
Zhang Deng gradually realized that he was not a talented writer. He could not produce works at a high intensity and did not have any brilliant inspiration. He could only record in detail the feelings he gained from the characters.
Qi Lin had said more than once that he could help him, but Zhang Deng refused.
Along the way, Zhang Deng rejected many people. He did not agree to do marketing promotion, did not agree to sign with the company, and did not accept Qi Lin's recommendation.
Zhang Deng knew that he was not cut out for this. When the tide receded, he would be in great trouble because his talent had run out.
If he had to learn something, it was to reject those so-called gifts that were beautifully packaged on the road of life. They were extremely tempting, but Zhang Deng no longer drooled over them.
He knew very well that if he walked into the swamp and walked towards any piece of driftwood that looked like a shortcut, he would be pulled down, and he had no ability to fight back.
And he also has the right to choose to refuse. He is determined to live a cruel life of throwing the baby out with the bathwater, and no one can stop him.
The night passed like this. The next day, I turned on the lights and slept until noon. I was too lazy until noon and cleaned up the messy house as if I was trying to cover up the problem. I moved things from here to there. I considered the cleanup done as long as I couldn't see them.
Then he leaned on the sofa, changed his posture and continued playing with his phone.
When I'm on vacation, I have to sit there glued to my phone, keep the lights on until nightfall, order a sandwich, and then turn on the lights a few hours after dark. Then, with the lights on, I go to bed and play with my phone until after one o'clock, then turn off the lights and go to sleep.
After three days of this kind of life, Zhang Deng's house was full of garbage, so he went downstairs to throw away the garbage dejectedly, picked up a few express packages, and squatted at the door to unpack them in a mess.
He is usually very busy and too lazy to go to the supermarket. He even buys toilet paper online. Unlike other young people, Zhang Deng does not feel any happiness or anticipation when opening the express delivery because they are all boring things.
He picked up a beautifully packaged black express box. He noticed the box at the express station. Since he rarely bought express packages that required such high-end boxes, he confirmed the name and last number and only took it back after confirming it was indeed his.
This was the last one to be taken apart after Zhang Deng took it down. It felt quite heavy in my hand.
After unpacking it, he found that it was a thick bubble wrap. Zhang Deng began to wonder if he had ever bought this thing before, or if it was a gift from a friend.
As he thought about it, he unwrapped the foam and the heavy crystal ball fell directly into his hand.
The texture of this crystal ball looks very good. The silver-white base is smaller than the common bases on the market, only two fingers wide. Inside the huge glass sphere is an object that resembles a nebula.
Zhang Deng put his eyes close to the nebula, but he couldn't tell how it was created. It was as if the quicksand itself had become this shape.
This crystal ball was so beautiful and exquisite that even Zhang Deng, who didn't really like these things, held it in his hands and looked at it for a long time. Then he sat on the ground, opened his phone, took a photo, and asked Qi Lin first, "Did you give this to me?"
Qi Lin quickly replied: "No."
"No," Qi Lin asked, "I can deliver it."
Zhang Deng asked He Xiaoqiu again.
He Xiaoqiu said: "I have already bought your birthday present."
Then he sent me a photo of a brand-name backpack with logos all over it.
Zhang Deng looked at the date and had a hunch that this might be a birthday gift. His birthday was in the next few days. Then he checked the date and it was today?
He Xiaoqiu said, "I have something to do today, I'll let you come tomorrow."
"Was it a gift from Liu Yan?" Zhang Deng asked.
"Him?" He Xiaoqiu replied. "It's good enough that he remembered my birthday. Stop being so narcissistic."
Zhang Deng felt puzzled. His interpersonal skills were not yet sufficient to support him receiving secret gifts from others. This thing was too hot to hold. He put the crystal ball away as it was and placed it on the shoe cabinet at the door.
It is impolite not to reciprocate. Zhang Deng planned to trace the source clearly before displaying it - he really coveted it and liked it very much.
Seeing that he hadn't replied, Qi Lin bombarded him with messages one after another: "Did you find out who it is? Do I have a competitor again?"
"No." Zhang Deng said, "Back off."
Qi Lin replied: "Yes."
But at night, he couldn't help but harass Zhang Deng: "I suddenly realized a problem."
Zhang Deng: “?”
"Is today your birthday?"
"It's okay," Zhang Deng said, "I've forgotten a little bit about it too."
Qi Lin made a video call directly. Zhang Deng was shocked in the dark night. He didn't want to answer the call at all, but considering that he was his leader, he still pressed the accept button.
Qi Lin was still in the brightly lit office. Seeing that Zhang Deng's side was completely dark, he asked, "No money?"
Zhang Deng: "Why do you say that?"
"Why don't you turn on the light?"
Zhang Deng reluctantly stood up and turned on the light. Qi Lin exclaimed, "How long has this been in Xueju?"
"Mind your own business," Zhang Deng said angrily. "Are you calling just to humiliate me?"
He was wearing a loose grey smock that had pilled after who knows how many years of wearing it. His hair was messily curled up on his head, and he gave off the energy of someone who hadn't woken up and hadn't seen the sun for several days.
Qi Lin: "How can that be? I'm treating you to a meal. I hope you'll do me the honor of taking the time to come."
"No need," Zhang Deng said, "You're busy all day and all night, and surrounded by a plethora of young and beautiful women. Just find a young and beautiful woman and enjoy her beauty."
"What you said is really harsh," Qi Lin said, "where did the sparrow come from? Besides-"
He recited: "Occasionally, a passing bee, butterfly, swallow, or sparrow would advise Lily that no matter how beautiful you are, no one will come to admire you on this cliff—"
Zhang Deng interrupted the spellcasting: "You died, yet you still blossomed."
He said, "I really won't go, and I don't celebrate my birthday either. If you have a game, go by yourself."
"You have a deep misunderstanding of me," Qi Lin said. "I really don't have that kind of debauchery. I really want to treat you to a meal alone."
Zhang Deng also said sincerely: "I really am not going either."
"Stop talking nonsense," Qi Lin said. "You'll have half an hour to clean up and come downstairs. I have only one request: clean out the eye mucus, and you're not allowed to wear slippers."
"These are two."
"Hang up." Qi Lin hung up the phone directly, as if he was afraid that he would refuse again.
Zhang Deng turned over in bed, sighed deeply, and after a while, he got up and cleaned up resignedly.
At this time, the traffic jam had already passed, and Qi Lin had indeed arrived downstairs half an hour later. He took a photo of him waiting downstairs. Zhang Deng had just walked out of the room and pressed the elevator button when he received this photo. He felt like his life was being urged.
Zhang Deng was as passionate as a male dog. He couldn't help but think that salmon could circle half the earth just to mate.
It's just terrible.
What was even more terrifying was that after turning on the lights and going downstairs, I saw a huge bunch of blood-red roses, the kind that could only be seen in movies and TV dramas.
Zhang Deng wanted to run away the first time he saw it, but he used immense endurance to force himself to stay where he was. Qi Lin emerged from behind the roses with difficulty and said, "Don't think I'm extravagant—"
Before he could finish his words, he saw Zhang Deng quickly pass by him, open the car door, get in, and close the door in one go.
Qi Lin smiled, threw the flowers on the back seat, and got in the car. He asked, "Did you get rid of the eye boogers?"
Zhang Deng: "Are you sick?"
"I don't know what to give her," Qi Lin said, "If you don't like it, I won't give her anything next time."
Zhang Deng: "What good will we gain from having the entire neighborhood watch two men giving flowers?"
"It satisfies my vanity," Qi Lin said. "They think I have a chance to pursue you. Why are you reacting so strongly? Courtship is an animal instinct. What's more, I am as loyal to you as an ant and as filial to you as an animal. I am a licking dog. Licking is my mission. If you don't let me lick you, aren't you asking for my life?"
Zhang Deng: "Could you please stop insulting this little allusion?"
Qi Lin said, "Allusions are meant for you to draw inferences. They're not used for lifelong events. When will you be able to use them?"
In his entire life, Zhang Deng had never met anyone with whom he could not compete in eloquence. Qi Lin's mouth was too sharp. Zhang Deng knew he was no match for him and rolled his eyes.
Qi Lin said: "Okay, I was really rushed this time. I've been very busy recently and didn't notice your birthday. I will prepare better next time."
Zhang Deng suddenly remembered that he had said the same thing: "I want to have a good birthday next time."
It was when he was still with Wei Yuanye that he suddenly felt like celebrating his birthday. Perhaps at that time, he had a feeling that their relationship would not last long, so he wanted to enjoy it as much as possible. Unexpectedly, he didn't even make it to his birthday.
It seems that Zhang Deng is not destined to have a good birthday.
Zhang Deng was thinking aimlessly when his sight passed by the roadside and he saw a man wearing a baseball cap standing in front of the bus stop. He was stunned again and followed him to look, feeling dazed for a moment.
"What's wrong?" Qi Lin asked distractedly.
Zhang Deng said, "Men nowadays are all quite handsome."
Qi Lin: "The most handsome one is sitting next to you."
"You're also a top student, from a scholarly family," Zhang Deng said, unable to bear it any longer. "Could you please stop talking like that—"
He thought about it for a long time but couldn't find a suitable adjective.
Qi Lin: "Be bold in giving advice, and don't get angry."
"Superficial." Zhang Deng said, "Don't turn on the screen, it's annoying me."
Qi Lin laughed and said, "Damn, I'm a little angry."
Zhang Deng still felt that the figure, the jawbone under the baseball cap, and the pursed lips, had a bit of his flavor.
Except he never wears a baseball cap and never waits for the bus.
The restaurant Qi Lin booked was a newly opened Western restaurant, whose main selling points were high prices, exquisite dishes and picturesque environment. Zhang Deng felt a genuine pain in his stomach when he looked at the dishes on the menu that cost 199, 299, and 399 yuan.
He hesitated for a long time before he suppressed his words and asked Qi Lin if he could just leave and have the meal money deposited into his salary card.
He implicitly ordered a steak and a salad, but Qi Lin asked about snails and then foie gras. Zhang Deng was frightened and refused repeatedly.
Qi Lin said: "It's generous. It's not like you come here every day."
The waiter looked at Qi Lin and smiled, thinking he was funny. Qi Lin had a kind of open-mindedness and nobility that ordinary boys did not have. Even if what he said was embarrassing, he would not look shabby.
Qi Lin ordered a few dishes, then handed the menu back and asked the waiter, "I heard you have piano performances here."
"Excuse me sir, the show was from 7:30-8:30 pm and is now over."
"Oh, I know," Qi Lin said, "I mean, no one's performing. Can I go?"
Zhang Deng looked at Qi Lin in horror.
The waiter nodded repeatedly: "Of course, do you need some lighting, sir?"
"Come on," Qi Lin took off his coat, casually draped it on the chair, and said to Zhang Deng, "Don't laugh at me if I play it wrong. I haven't played it for many years."
The piano was downstairs, and Qi Lin followed the waiter downstairs. A beam of light shone down quietly, shining on the piano. Zhang Deng stood up and walked to the escalator, and saw Qi Lin looking in this direction. Qi Lin was not bad looking.
He looked even more handsome and elegant under the light. He had obviously dressed up before coming. His suit was straight and his hair was meticulously groomed. Years of exercise made his suit very full and wrinkle-free. He was very handsome, and he knew it himself. This created a crack in his righteousness. The perfect man was even more eye-catching because of this arrogance and ruffianism.
After Qi Lin's eyes found him, he raised his hand towards him.
Then the hand fell directly on the piano.
Zhang Deng was not well-versed in music, he just happened to have heard this song before.
It was "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence". Qi Lin was indeed unfamiliar with the song and perhaps a little nervous, so he played two or three notes wrong in the middle, but after he finished playing, he still won applause.
Qi Lin immediately looked up to look for Zhang Deng, and found that Zhang Deng had not left.
He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at him.
He felt someone was looking at him, and with a glance, he saw a man in the corner of the second floor looking at him. The man's hands were hanging on the railing, and his eyes were fixed on him. Qi Lin felt strange and looked back. When Zhang Deng also looked in that direction, the man turned around and left again. The lights on the second floor were dim, as if he had disappeared out of thin air.
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