Chapter 72: The Song of Taotie (XII) Sisyphus's Pie. ...
Woman: "How can you speak so? The Master's later teachings were simply to make them easier to understand, so that we, the ignorant believers, could grasp the profound meaning of the truth."
Zhang Deng asked, "How old are you?"
"Nineteen."
"You are too young," Zhang Deng said, "to choose a faith."
These things are too abstract. For those who have not been educated, are young, or are in great grief, seeking the protection of faith is their survival instinct. However, it is often at this time that they are most likely to be taken advantage of.
Zhang Deng said, "Do your family members know that you are doing this?"
The woman turned around, her expression no longer as stubborn as before, but rather a little confused.
Zhang Deng realized that this was her pain point.
The woman said, "I don't need them to know."
"Okay," Zhang Deng activated his empathy technique, which he rarely showed to others. "Actually, you know what? I completely understand your perspective. My parents don't care about me at all either."
The woman scoffed, "Don't try that."
But Zhang Deng knew that she only thought she was firm, smart and courageous. If she really couldn't be moved by other people's words, she wouldn't be here today.
Zhang Deng continued, "I can't go out anyway, so I'm just chatting with you."
Besides, this wasn't really a lie. Zhang Deng had simply embellished his true experience. He told the woman about his experiences at home from childhood to adulthood, and while he was doing so, he joked with Wei Yuanye, "Tell her if I've ever lied to you?"
Wei Yuanye shook his head.
The woman said, "You're such a coward that you actually gave them the car."
"How can you call me cowardly?" Zhang Deng said. "I think I'm quite open-minded. Besides, I didn't buy it in the first place."
The woman said, "You don't know how to protect yourself."
"Do you have to fight to protect yourself?" Zhang Deng asked. "I think as long as you live comfortably, you're protecting yourself. There's no need to attack."
The woman disagreed with this view. She said, "Because you've never been beaten."
"What about you? Have you ever been beaten?"
"My mother believes in this, too, but not from God," the woman said. "Her religion taught her that children don't need care, just food and water. The rest is something they understand in their hearts, but it's hidden from them. As they grow older, they'll learn naturally."
The woman said, "My parents divorced because of her behavior when I was a child. I was never taught any rules since I was a child, and my father didn't like me, so he left me with my mother."
Zhang Deng: "Doesn't your mother want you either?"
"To her, it makes no difference whether she wants me or not," the woman said. "She doesn't need to support me anyway. I had my period and I had no sanitary pads, no underwear, and only a skirt. Blood clots fell on my legs. I thought I was bleeding somewhere, but I couldn't find the bleeding point. It was a sanitary pad that my neighbor's uncle bought me."
"I started puberty in junior high school and never wore underwear. I was afraid to take off my coat. I always wore my school uniform no matter how hot it was."
Zhang Deng suddenly realized that, in fact, many of the difficulties faced by women are very specific. They are detailed and complicated, hidden in their way in tiny forms, and can trip them up if they are not careful.
This is completely different from Zhang Deng's childhood. Compared with hers, Zhang Deng's predicament seems much milder.
"Later, I stopped studying," the woman said. "I felt really good. No one in society cared whether I wore underwear or not."
Zhang Deng said: "Maybe they still care, but people in society might prefer you not to wear underwear."
The woman was stunned for a moment, then laughed bitterly again.
Zhang Deng also felt it was cruel, but some words, even if not said, did not mean they did not exist, and even if said, it would not affect any reality.
The woman said, "You said the same thing as my first man."
The curse was very dirty and Zhang Deng felt a little uncomfortable.
The woman said, "But you two don't mean the same thing."
"I've never worn underwear in my life," the woman said with a complete openness that bordered on insanity. "After I had a child, I didn't need to wear it anymore."
Wei Yuanye looked up and Zhang Deng asked, "Did you give birth?"
The woman said, "It happened a long time ago."
This really silenced Zhang Deng.
"The man ran away when I was pregnant. Actually, he didn't run away. He just refused to admit it and refused to give me money," said the woman.
Zhang Deng still found it hard to believe. He asked, "You didn't give birth to it?"
"Yes," the woman said, "Why can't I have a baby? I also want to see what it feels like to raise a child."
"So... have you told your parents? You definitely can't do it on your own."
The woman said, "My mother is ashamed of me. She even thinks her religion is fake because of me, so of course she won't recognize me. My father is also very embarrassed. Of all the children around him, I'm the only one so young to get pregnant."
There was little logic in her narration, and most of it was guided by her emotions. She talked about whatever came to her mind. Zhang Deng could surprisingly understand her very clearly and felt very comfortable. He could also fully understand what she wanted to say.
The woman said, "I gave birth to the child myself, but I didn't take good care of it, and the child died after the confinement period."
Zhang Deng: “…”
Zhang Deng could no longer sit still. He felt that he could no longer listen.
The woman said, "Who do you think is worse off, us?"
"The pain is incomparable," Zhang Deng said, "but you're worse off. I admit it."
Zhang Deng said: "Oh my God, I can't imagine it."
The woman said indifferently, "What's the big deal?"
She seemed to be indifferent to all this, but this indifference and disregard for life's cold treatment proved that she had suffered traumatic stress from life.
Zhang Deng said, "So it was Bai Yan who gave you the feeling of redemption?"
"He said he would help my child pass away," the woman said. "A child that dies prematurely will haunt its mother. He said he would send her away."
Even though Zhang Deng was eloquent, he had nothing to say at this moment.
Zhang Deng said, "But it's not your fault."
"It's my fault," the woman said. "I didn't realize the child couldn't be left alone while he slept. The mosquito net fell down and suffocated him."
Zhang Deng collapsed: "What kind of life do you have?"
The woman said, "I am a woman that God hates."
"But I think God hates all women," the woman said. "The world just hates women."
Zhang Deng didn't know how to respond to such a statement. Wei Yuanye said, "God doesn't like anyone."
"There's a saying that the Earth is like a prison, and everyone here is essentially a prisoner," Zhang Deng said. "Each of us is actually living in dire straits... but I admit, your water is hotter."
The woman said, "Then you will stay in the high-class cell, and I will stay in the hell cell."
Zhang Deng had no rebuttal.
He originally just wanted to persuade the woman not to believe Bai Yan's words, but at this moment, he couldn't think of a better choice.
Zhang Deng: "But believing in Bai Yan won't make your life better. Instead, it will get worse."
The woman looked at him numbly. Zhang Deng knew that these words were meaningless to her.
Zhang Deng gave up. He realized that not everyone had to be right. Instead, his attitude softened.
Zhang Deng stood up, walked over to her, sat down cross-legged, and asked her face to face: "What's your name?"
The woman was stunned for a moment and said, "Songhua."
"Is your last name Song?" There is no such last name in Zhang Deng's world.
"What's wrong?" The woman was confused. "I took my mother's last name."
"Hello," Zhang Deng stretched out his hand to shake her hand, "My name is Zhang Deng."
The woman looked at him hesitantly, then tentatively stretched out her hand. Their hands clasped together, and Zhang Deng suddenly hugged her.
Zhang Deng said, "I'm sorry."
"Thank you for your hard work," Zhang Deng said deeply, "You really worked hard."
The woman blinked, not knowing where to put her hands. She hesitated and still didn't touch the lamp.
Zhang Deng said, "If there's anything I can do to help you, you must tell me."
"Really?" The woman didn't believe it and looked at him with caution.
Zhang Deng: "My abilities are limited, but I will definitely help if I can."
The woman said, "I heard that my mother seems to have lost her sight. I don't know how she lives."
Zhang Deng: “…”
Zhang Deng asked: "You still..."
"She's very strong-willed and does manual labor to earn a living," the woman said. "She doesn't have insurance. I don't know if she still has money after going blind."
Zhang Deng said, "You love her very much."
The woman immediately denied it: "No, it's not."
Zhang Deng changed his words: "You care about her."
The woman said seriously, "I am a very soft-hearted person."
"It doesn't matter to me what happens to her," the woman said, "but no one wants to die. We all live."
Zhang Deng: "Then if your child's soul rests in peace, what are you going to do?"
The woman said, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll follow my mentor for the rest of my life."
"He is a kind, knowledgeable, and great man," the woman described Bai Yan with all the best words she could think of. "As long as he wants me to follow him, I won't go anywhere."
Zhang Deng looked at her bright eyes in the darkness and finally understood something.
Why is a woman willing to fall into a trap for Bai Yan and two strange men?
Zhang Deng asked, "Are you in love with him?"
The woman didn't answer and turned away.
In Zhang Deng's opinion, this is the worst possible situation.
Zhang Deng stood up and glanced at Wei Yuanye. Even though Wei Yuanye was in the dark, Zhang Deng could feel that Wei Yuanye was also looking at him.
He and Wei Yuanye mostly communicated through eye contact. Zhang Deng realized that they actually didn't talk much when they were together.
Many times, just by looking at each other, I can understand what he is thinking.
This kind of tacit understanding is not easy for a new couple like them, but Zhang Deng found that now he didn't even need to see Wei Yuanye's eyes to know what he was thinking.
Wei Yuanye stood up. He was tall and had a very cold temperament. When he walked over, his aura made the woman feel alert. She asked, "What are you going to do?"
Zhang Deng said, "Goodbye."
"I respect your love, although I think you will regret it later." Zhang Deng tried his best not to be a boring adult. He knew that once love took root, the fastest way to extinguish it was to let it grow. The more you try to stop it, the crazier it will become.
The woman frowned and said, "You can't get out."
Seeing that he had finished talking, Wei Yuanye took out his gun. Before leaving, he looked at the porcelain statue.
"What's wrong?" Zhang Deng asked.
Wei Yuanye shook his head and shot at the door lock, and the door bounced open with a bang.
"Wait..." said the woman.
Zhang Deng and the others really turned around, and the woman hesitated and said, "No matter what you are going to do, can you let him go?"
Zhang Deng sighed. How could they be the ones who couldn't get out?
Zhang Deng said, "We're not here to embarrass anyone."
That's all I can say. Zhang Deng himself is not able to make any guarantees.
When he went out, there was no one in the room outside. Perhaps Bai Yan knew that he couldn't lock them up, so he avoided them early.
Zhang Deng felt that Bai Yan's actions indeed revealed a mysterious aura, and it seemed that he could really predict some things.
This feeling was familiar, and he quickly concluded that it might be a previous mission that had given him this feeling, but his memory had been erased and he no longer remembered it.
The next day, they went to work as usual.
Li Mai arrived at his workstation early, and when he saw the lights on, he was in good spirits.
Zhang Deng asked, "How is Huang Jingjing?"
"Ah," Li Mai said, "she didn't stay at my place last night."
Zhang Deng: "Why? ...Wait, can't it be?"
Li Mai said with a look of understanding, "The man called her last night to apologize and refused to leave the building below my house. After she went downstairs, they cried to each other, smiled at each other, hugged each other, and then left."
Zhang Deng said, "I was deeply shocked."
"I was shocked too." Li Mai said, "But she told me that we would break up this time."
Zhang Deng: “It’s hard to believe.”
"What's so hard to believe?" Li Mai said, "You don't have to believe it."
But Li Mai didn't seem to take it to heart. She said to Zhang Deng, "I weighed myself this morning and it was 132 kilograms. I actually lost ten kilograms."
"Aren't you 140?"
Li Mai: "I was just kidding, it's actually 142."
Zhang Deng put down his schoolbag, stretched, and said, "Your attitude towards weight is like Huang Jingjing's attitude towards men."
"Everyone has their own challenges," Li Mai said. "You have them too, but you just haven't encountered them yet."
"I'm done. I don't need any more," Zhang Deng said. "My first half of life was just a giant den of research."
As the two were chatting, Sister Hong kicked off her chair and slid over to ask, "How have you been these past two days?"
"What's going on?" Li Mai said, "I'm on sick leave."
Sister Hong said, "You're in such a hurry to come back. Are you worried someone might take over? I heard there's going to be some personnel changes. Our minister might be replaced."
Li Mai didn't know what to say.
It wouldn't be her who would be replaced. She was late for the last meeting and left a bad impression on her boss. Maybe five years of work would be in vain and she would have to wait for another opportunity. Then it would have to be Sister Hong. Li Mai felt suffocated just thinking about working under Sister Hong.
Let’s start to please her from now on. Li Mai was planning to invite Sister Hong to dinner one day. A female leader would be fine too, at least she wouldn’t have to drink with him.
The living environment in the office was too harsh. Li Mai felt like he was surrounded by wolves.
But the family atmosphere was not much better. In the afternoon, she suddenly received a call from her mother.
"Xiaomi," the woman asked, "are you home?"
Li Mai was puzzled: "How could I be at home? It's work time now."
The woman was a little surprised: "Aren't you injured? Don't you want to rest for a few more days?"
Li Mai couldn't explain to her that there were unspoken rules for taking leave while working, and even sick leave could not exceed two days.
She was a little impatient and said, "What are you doing?"
The woman said, "I'm at your door."
Li Mai: “?”
"Where are you?" Li Mai asked again, his voice a little louder. Many people looked over. Li Mai realized that he had lost his composure, so he covered his mouth with his hand, bent down slightly, and asked, "What are you doing here?"
“Your father and your brother are missing,” the woman said, “and the police can’t find them.”
Li Mai said, "What...?"
"Aren't you hiding?"
The woman said, "You hid before and never answered my calls."
Li Mai rolled his eyes and said, "I know you two are on good terms."
She was a little annoyed and said, "I'll ask someone to give you the key, you can go in by yourself."
Li Mai heard a conversation on the other end of the phone: "Hey? You live here too... Are you Xiaomai's friend?"
"Who is it?"
A voice quickly answered the phone: "It's me."
"Jingjing." Li Mai was relieved. "Open the door for my mom. No, what did you do back home?"
Huang Jingjing said: "We broke up. I thought you were at home, so I came to play with you."
Li Mai: “…”
Zhang Deng, who was eavesdropping, said: "..."
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