Chapter 15: Everyone’s Nervous (Fifteen) Click 1 to hear my revenge plan…
Zhang Deng replied: "I don't think there's anything else we need to talk about."
Liu Yan: "Smoking area."
Zhang Deng hesitated for a moment, then said to Wei Yuanye, "I'm going to the bathroom."
Wei Yuanye didn't ask any further questions, just nodded.
When the lights were turned on, Liu Yan was already waiting there. He had a cigarette lit and smoked halfway.
Liu Yan has a superior appearance. The way he leans against the floor-to-ceiling window and smokes is the same as when he was in college. Over the years, Liu Yan has lived a life of luxury and his appearance has not changed much.
In fact, even the location of the smoking area was told to him by Liu Yan. When Zhang Deng saw this scene, it was hard for him not to recall some of the previous events.
Liu Yan was obviously recalling the past as well. He looked at the river view outside and said, "My favorite thing about this store is this window."
"This is the only smoking area with the best view," Liu Yan took a shallow puff, put out his cigarette, and turned his gaze to Zhang Deng, "That's why I always come here."
Liu Yan asked: "So what about you? Why are you here?"
Zhang Deng said: "At least it's not because of you."
Liu Yan sneered, not knowing how much he believed it.
Liu Yan said, "Didn't I bring you here?"
To be precise, he not only brought Zhang Deng, but when he invited Zhang Deng, he also invited He Xiaoqiu. After only two meals here, Liu Yan didn't need to invite Zhang Deng again, because he and He Xiaoqiu were already together.
Zhang Deng said, "I wouldn't stop coming here just because of you two. The food here is delicious and the scenery is beautiful. If there weren't any private rooms today, the chances of running into you would be very low."
Then Zhang Deng added, "But I'm not afraid of running into you."
Liu Yan looked at him and seemed to remember why he was interested in Zhang Deng when he was in college. It was because he always looked dull and stubborn, like a fool, but he was very talented and had outstanding academic performance. He was like a pure beauty from the last century, with an unpolished charm.
Liu Yan just pursued Zhang Deng for a few days on a whim. Actually, looking back now, it can't be considered as pursuing, it was at most ambiguous.
Why did it become boring later? — Liu Yan remembered, because it was too easy.
It was too easy for Zhang Deng to succeed. He got close to her without much effort. She was average looking and her personality was just so-so after you got to know her. There was nothing interesting about her. His good friend He Xiaoqiu was more interesting.
Liu Yan recalled some past events, such as the red lights, his eyes holding back tears, pretending not to see the awkwardness of their hand-holding, and his back as he walked away with the book in his arms. He was rarely sentimental, and he said, "I haven't asked you, but it must have been hard for you to be alone all these years."
"The hardship wasn't because of being the same person," Zhang Deng said. "It was because He Xiaoqiu plagiarized me that I was having a hard time."
Liu Yan was a little impatient with him talking about this matter all the time. He asked, "Don't you have anything else to say?"
However, Zhang Deng felt that apart from these things, he and Liu Yan no longer had any common topics.
He thought about it for a long time before saying, "It was indeed a coincidence tonight."
Liu Yan said, "You're still the same as before. You can't say anything to make people happy."
Zhang Deng no longer felt uncomfortable with such words. He would just say without any emotion, "I'm sorry."
Liu Yan said patiently, "Maybe it's a little late, but it was indeed my fault back then. If you want to blame someone, you can blame me. If you want any compensation, feel free to ask for it."
Zhang Deng accepted the apology, nodded, and said, "Because you are indeed a coward."
Liu Yan: “?”
"Who?" he asked inexplicably.
"You," Zhang Deng said, not afraid of him. "I was waiting for you to confront me and tell me in person. But you didn't have the courage."
Liu Yan laughed out loud in anger, but then fell silent because he really didn't want to face Zhang Deng at that moment. Perhaps subconsciously, he also felt that what he did was not human, and that Zhang Deng didn't need to be taken so seriously.
Zhang Deng said: "But now that you've apologized, it doesn't matter anymore."
This apology was a bit late, but fortunately Zhang Deng had already let it go in his heart.
Liu Yan was speechless. He felt like punching cotton when he responded to Zhang Deng. He asked, "So you?"
"So what?"
"So, can you stop targeting He Xiaoqiu?" Liu Yan asked, "Since we're no longer related."
Zhang Deng asked puzzledly, "What does this have to do with you?"
Zhang Deng raised his eyes to look at him, and that look made Liu Yan subconsciously avoid looking away. He only heard Zhang Deng say, "In your eyes, you can't accept that I'm simply angry about his plagiarism."
"Because I've suffered so much," Zhang Deng said. "From childhood to adulthood, I've endured all kinds of injustices. How could I get angry over such a small thing? It must be because I still like you and I did this to attract your attention. That's what you all think, right?"
Zhang Deng said, "You are very arrogant."
"Because you've never thought about it from my perspective," Zhang Deng said. "I've had nothing since I was little. My life wasn't very satisfying, and I even suffered from mental illness. Why do I still insist on living? There's only one reason... I can still write."
"Only my own writing will belong to me forever. I can feel a little bit superior, and I can breathe a sigh of relief amidst the pressure," Zhang Deng said. "Why am I angry? It's because even this has been taken away by He Xiaoqiu."
Liu Yan: “…”
Zhang Deng said: "Before this, I have never regretted liking you."
"I've been trying to excuse you," Zhang Deng said calmly. "I told myself that you didn't know He Xiaoqiu had plagiarized me all these years, so you still liked him."
Zhang Deng said, "I didn't expect you to have the same attitude even after you knew about it."
"In my heart, although you're a coward, you're a righteous person." Zhang Deng remained calm even as he spoke these heartless words. "So I misjudged you from the very beginning. You don't have to worry that I still like you and will cling to you, because I don't like you at all."
Liu Yan asked: "So you liked me before?"
"Is that the point?" Zhang Deng felt that Liu Yan's superficiality was exhausting. He said, "Forget it."
Liu Yan said, "So, you did this to make me break up with He Xiaoqiu, right?"
Zhang Deng really wanted to turn around and leave, but his character made him stay where he was and explain, "No."
"In my heart, He Xiaoqiu is more important than you," Zhang Deng finally expressed his true thoughts. "If possible, he's the one I least want to lose."
He Xiaoqiu is Zhang Deng's only friend in his life.
In Zhang Deng's heart, the most painful thing about He Xiaoqiu and Liu Yan being together is not the loss of love, but the cracks in his friendship with He Xiaoqiu. He Xiaoqiu always worries whether Zhang Deng still likes Liu Yan and no longer keeps in close contact with him. Zhang Deng has returned to living alone.
Zhang Deng is really lonely.
Zhang Deng said: "If he doesn't break his promise, I will bless you all my life and bury this matter in my heart."
Liu Yan put his hand on his mouth, and was speechless after hearing Zhang Deng's words.
It seemed like this was the first time in all these years that Zhang Deng had spoken so much, and it was also the first time that he had the patience to listen to Zhang Deng speak so much.
A ringtone broke the silence between the two. Zhang Deng picked up the phone. It was Wei Yuanye: "This restaurant only offers free parking for two hours."
Zhang Deng didn't say hello to Liu Yan, and turned to walk towards the door: "I'm here."
Liu Yan looked at his back and felt a complicated feeling.
Wei Yuanye was waiting for him at the checkout counter. As soon as Zhang Deng walked over, he was stunned - he saw He Xiaoqiu standing beside Wei Yuanye with a smile on his face, and he didn't know what he was talking about.
Wei Yuanye still had that deadpan look on his face with his hands in his pockets, occasionally saying a few words. He Xiaoqiu would then laugh and lean against the bar. He caught sight of the lights and his smile slowly faded.
Zhang Deng took out his phone and said, "Excuse me, I'll pay the bill."
"I've paid." Wei Yuanye said.
The waiter smiled and handed them a gift bag, saying, "Here's a small gift for you."
Zhang Deng nodded: "Thank you."
Wei Yuanye gave him his bag as well. Zhang Deng thought about it, took it, and left on his own.
He walked ahead and heard He Xiaoqiu say to Wei Yuanye, "Then I'll send it to you when I get back."
Wei Yuanye said, "Okay."
He Xiaoqiu: "Goodbye."
Zhang Deng quickened his pace and did not hear Wei Yuanye's response.
Zhang Deng pressed the elevator button himself. When the elevator door was about to close, a pair of hands held the door. Wei Yuanye came in and looked at him and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
Zhang Deng didn't say anything. Wei Yuanye walked in and stood beside him. He turned his head slightly to observe Zhang Deng and found that Zhang Deng was tightly pursing his lips and there was no expression on his face.
However, Wei Yuanye was not in a happy mood at the moment.
The impassioned speech Zhang Deng delivered when he came had already made him feel a little uncomfortable, and he had just gone to the smoking area and chatted with Liu Yan for a long time. Wei Yuanye judged for himself in his heart that it was not that he did not like Zhang Deng and Liu Yan's continued relationship, but that Zhang Deng did not know how to judge people, and falling into the same trap again and again made Wei Yuanye feel very annoyed.
Wei Yuanye believed that his anger was simply due to his pity for the other party's misfortune and his anger at the other party for not fighting back.
How could a person like Liu Yan be so useless even if he could be called out with just a text message?
Both of them were furious, and no one said a word. They passed one red light after another in silence all the way home, still silent.
Zhang Deng went into the bathroom first to wash up, and then Wei Yuanye went in. The two of them went to bed early at night and seemed a little busy.
Xiao Mi opened her beautiful yellow eyes, sat on the bed, and looked at the two silent people.
Zhang Deng felt uncomfortable and always wanted to find something to do. At around nine o'clock, he took out his computer, sat at the table, and started typing.
There was no light in the room, only two faint sources of light: Wei Yuanye was lying on the sofa playing with his mobile phone, a fluorescent light shining on his face. His phone rang several times, as if someone was sending him a message; Zhang Deng was sitting on the small table in front of the bed, the light from the computer screen shining on his face. The more he wrote, the calmer he felt.
Wei Yuanye's phone rang again, maybe it was He Xiaoqiu.
Because Wei Yuanye’s phone had never received a message alert, this was the first time.
It could only be He Xiaoqiu who said he would send him a message today.
Zhang Deng thought that there was no need for him to be jealous.
Wei Yuanye didn't belong to him originally. He just came to help him. It didn't mean that he had to stand on his side, nor did it mean that Wei Yuanye had to follow him in hating He Xiaoqiu.
If you think about it carefully, He Xiaoqiu is already pretty, good at creating her own atmosphere, and good at making friends. If Wei Yuanye hadn't come to help him and let Wei Yuanye get to know them under normal circumstances, Wei Yuanye would probably like He Xiaoqiu.
Only at this time did Zhang Deng truly realize that he had a mental illness, because he always deliberately portrayed himself as a very disgusting and hateful person in his mind, and put himself in a situation where he would not be liked at all, as if he had an impacted wisdom tooth. He always licked it repeatedly to get the pain and keep himself awake.
Zhang Deng hopes to use this kind of pain, which is so low as to be dusty, to allow himself to face the blow of reality - it will not be worse than he expected.
After writing some things, Zhang Deng slowly adjusted his mentality. Wei Yuanye had no obligation to keep a distance from He Xiaoqiu, and he had no right to be angry. This kind of anger was pitiful and ridiculous.
Zhang Deng suddenly felt embarrassed: How could he do such a shameless thing?
When Zhang Deng was thinking about how to save face, his cell phone rang. He picked it up and found that it was from Wei Yuanye.
Zhang Deng clicked on the message and saw a photo.
That was a photo of Zhang Deng when he was in junior high school.
At that time, it was popular for girls to have very thick bangs, and they would even cut half of their scalp hair into bangs. It was also popular for boys to have side-cut hair that covered half of their eyes. Their school did not strictly control dress and hairstyle. They only had to wear school uniforms three days a week, so they could do their hairstyle secretly. Zhang Deng also blindly followed the trend and tried it. The photo was taken by He Xiaoqiu during that time. He also wore a sweatshirt with iron rings and a skull painted on it.
It should have been after class. Because he had no friends, Zhang Deng was doing homework even after class. He Xiaoqiu was sitting in front of him and suddenly asked him to look up. As soon as Zhang Deng raised his eyes, he was photographed.
Although the photo was taken carelessly, Zhang Deng still liked it very much. He even quietly posted it on his Renren community.
Zhang Deng was rarely photographed, and he wasn't quite sure how he appeared in the eyes of others. That photo was the only private photo of him during his entire student period.
Zhang Deng reacted immediately and said, "He Xiaoqiu gave it to you."
Wei Yuanye stopped typing and directly sent a screenshot of his chat with He Xiaoqiu.
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