Chapter 50: Trying to get closer, but met with a cold face
Xia Xiaoran's "secrets to flirting" and soul-piercing questioning were like a key, completely unlocking the tightly closed door in Su Wanqing's heart. She finally gave up on avoiding it and confessed her quietly growing, complex, and throbbing feelings for Huo Tingxiao. This realization filled her with both trepidation and a faint anticipation, as if a glimmer of light had suddenly appeared in a gloomy world, faint but enough to illuminate the path ahead.
With this new courage and a bit of clumsy determination, Su Wanqing began to try to approach the iceberg in a more proactive and delicate way.
She was no longer content with simply taking care of the household and preparing meals. She began to observe his habits and preferences more closely, noticing the subtle signs of fatigue in his brow. When he was working late at night, she would quietly offer him a cup of perfectly warm tea or a light midnight snack. She would iron his military uniform the next day, meticulously attending to the cuffs and collar. She even secretly asked Assistant Chen about his shoulder injury recovery, and when he occasionally massaged her shoulder, she would casually offer him a piece of ointment to relieve the pain.
Her movements were still cautious and restrained, a careful exploration, fearing that any overstepping of boundaries would disturb him and cause him to freeze even colder. But in those clear eyes, there was a touch of soft focus and subtle concern that hadn't been there before.
Huo Tingxiao seemed to notice something, yet also seemed not to. He remained silent and hurried, but he showed no repulsion or rejection of her subtle "services." He would accept the tea she offered him, put on the clothes she had ironed, and even occasionally, when she put down her midnight snack, he would give a faint "hmm" as a response.
Su Wanqing was greatly encouraged by this tacit agreement. She even began to look forward to his return home every day, her heartbeat slightly quickening when she heard the engine downstairs.
That day, she heard that the Logistics Department had purchased a batch of high-quality wild Gastrodia elata, which was miraculously effective in relieving headaches and neurasthenia. She immediately asked Assistant Chen to find a way to buy some. After carefully preparing it, she added pork ribs and meticulously stewed a pot of Gastrodia elata and pork rib soup. She remembered that he seemed to have trouble sleeping recently, with a lingering tiredness in his eyes.
In the evening, Huo Tingxiao returned on time. His face was even more stern than usual, with a hint of fatigue and irritability lingering between his brows. The air around him was very low, as if he had just experienced something unpleasant.
Su Wanqing suppressed her anxiety, carried the bowl of steaming, fragrant soup, walked to the door of the study, and knocked gently.
"Come in." His low voice came from inside, with a barely perceptible hoarseness.
She pushed open the door and saw him sitting behind the desk, rubbing his brow, with a document spread out in front of him and a few more cigarette butts in the ashtray.
"Commander, have some soup. It's been stewed for a long time and is good for sleep." She tried to make her voice sound natural and gently placed the bowl of soup not far from his hand.
Huo Tingxiao raised his head, his gaze sweeping across the bowl of soup before landing on her face. His eyes were deep, yet they held a complex scrutiny that Su Wanqing couldn't understand, a hint of... a slight sense of distance. He didn't immediately pick up the bowl as usual; instead, he frowned slightly.
"What is it?" he asked, his tone cold.
"It's Gastrodia elata pork ribs soup. I heard... it can calm the nerves." Su Wanqing explained softly, her fingertips curled slightly.
Huo Tingxiao's brows furrowed even more. He glanced at the soup, then at her, and suddenly asked out of the blue, "Who told you to stew this?"
Su Wanqing was stunned for a moment, her heart sinking slightly: "No... no one asked me to. I saw that you didn't seem to sleep well recently, so..."
"I'm fine." Huo Tingxiao interrupted her, his voice cold and hard, with a hint of imperceptible irritation, "We don't need these. Take them away."
His words were like a bucket of cold water, pouring down on Su Wanqing's head unexpectedly. She froze in her tracks, her cheeks turning slightly pale. She looked at his cold profile and his unappreciative attitude, and her heart felt like it was being tugged at, leaving her feeling sour and bitter.
Why? What did she do wrong? She just... just wanted to show some concern for him...
A huge feeling of grievance and loss suddenly surged into her heart, making her nose sore. She bit her lower lip hard to hold back from losing her composure.
"...Yes." She replied softly, her voice trembling. She reached out to take the bowl of soup, but her fingertips trembled slightly with sadness.
Just as her fingertips were about to touch the edge of the bowl, Huo Tingxiao suddenly spoke again. His voice was still flat, but seemed a little softer than before: "Put it there."
Su Wanqing paused and looked up at him in surprise.
He had already lowered his head, looking back at the documents, and added indifferently, "You don't have to do this in the future. Just focus on your own things."
His words seemed to give permission, yet they also carried a clear demarcation and distance. It was as if he was telling her: I appreciate your concern, but it's unnecessary. Just keep your distance between us.
Su Wanqing's heart sank, the faint joy and anticipation she had felt completely extinguished, leaving only cold embarrassment and awkwardness. She silently withdrew her hand and whispered, "...Yes. I'll be leaving first, then."
She turned around, quickly left the study, and gently closed the door. Leaning against the wall outside the door, she took several deep breaths to suppress the soreness in her eyes and the dull pain in her heart.
Why? He was so fine just a few days ago, even getting jealous and losing control because of her. Why did he suddenly become so cold? Did she do something wrong? Or...did he encounter something difficult and was in a bad mood?
All kinds of speculations swirled in her mind, but she couldn't find the answer.
During dinner, the atmosphere was at its lowest point. Huo Tingxiao ate quickly, barely looking up, let alone speaking. After finishing his meal, he left and headed straight upstairs.
Su Wanqing looked at his cold and distant back, and her heart went cold.
Over the next two days, the situation remained unchanged. Huo Tingxiao seemed even busier, coming home later and even at home, almost completely shutting himself in. His attitude towards Su Wanqing returned to its initial coldness, even more indifferent than before, as if that brief moment of "jealousy" and tacit concern had never occurred.
Su Wanqing's tiny attempt to get closer was like a stone thrown into a deep pool. It sank to the bottom of the cold lake without even causing a ripple.
She felt unprecedented frustration and confusion. Xia Xiaoran's words were still ringing in her ears, but the courage she had mustered was being gradually worn away by this sudden cold reception.
That night, Huo Tingxiao returned home late, exhausted, his face terribly gloomy. Su Wanqing prepared a midnight snack for him as usual, but he didn't even glance at it and went straight upstairs.
Su Wanqing stood in the empty living room, looking at the bowl of porridge that was gradually getting cold, feeling powerless.
She hesitated for a long time, but finally went upstairs with a glass of warm water and the pills she had prepared. Although his shoulder injury had healed, he seemed to have developed a soreness from rainy days, so the military doctor prescribed some soothing medicine.
She walked to the door of the study. There was no light inside. He seemed to have returned to the bedroom. She hesitated for a moment, walked to the door of the master bedroom, and knocked gently.
There was no response from inside.
She knocked again, a little harder.
"What's the matter?" His low, cold voice finally came from inside, with obvious impatience.
"Commander, your medicine." Su Wanqing tried her best to keep her voice steady.
There was silence for a few seconds, and then two cold words came out: "No need."
Su Wanqing's heart sank suddenly, and her fingers gripping the tray tightened: "The military doctor said..."
"I said no!" His voice suddenly rose, carrying undisguised irritability and anger, and it came through the door, shocking Su Wanqing's heart. "Don't you understand?! Don't bother me!"
"..." Su Wanqing froze completely, her face instantly turning pale as paper. A huge feeling of grievance and embarrassment instantly overwhelmed her, and tears welled up in her eyes uncontrollably.
She bit her lips hard to prevent herself from crying out, and the knuckles of her fingers holding the tray turned white from the force.
She stood in the cold corridor, listening to the silence from inside the door, as if she could feel his cold and distant anger.
After a long moment, she slowly turned around and walked down the stairs, step by step, stiffly. Each step was like stepping on broken ice, freezing cold.
Putting the tray back in the kitchen, she stood alone in the dim light, looking at the dark night outside the window, and tears finally fell silently.
I tried to get closer, but was met with a cold face.
And each time it's colder, harder, and more hurtful than the last.
She didn't understand what had happened? Why did he suddenly turn back into the iceberg covered in thorns, refusing anyone to get close to him?
Was she too impatient? Did she misunderstand his meaning? Or... had he never really changed, and all her previous "concern" and "jealousy" were just her wishful thinking and illusion?
The huge uncertainty and loss overwhelmed her like a tide.
For the first time, she felt so clearly how difficult and even... impossible it was to get close to him and warm him.
The newly sprouted bud called heartbeat seemed to have not yet grown when it encountered the sudden severe cold.
What should she do?
Should I keep trying, or... go back to where I was?
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