Chapter 52 Her worries kept her awake all night
The cold pistol in the study and the map marked with the codename "Vulture" were like the most ferocious fangs, completely tearing apart all of Su Wanqing's luck and psychological defenses. The overwhelming fear, like an icy tide, instantly engulfed her, making her tremble and almost suffocate.
She slumped to the floor, the coldness penetrating through her thin clothing paled to a fraction of the chill she felt in her heart. Tears welled up uncontrollably, not out of grievance or sadness, but out of pure, heart-wrenching fear and worry.
Vulture…a name that even Xia Xiaoran spoke of with such a heavy tone and secrecy. Huo Tingxiao was actually about to face such a vicious and desperate outlaw! The gun and magazine in his study were no longer abstract weapons, but the cold reality of life and death that he would soon bring to the battlefield!
Assistant Chen's words of "danger" and "protection" now carried a weight of blood. Huo Tingxiao's recent anomalies, his apathy, his temper, his aloofness... all found the cruelest yet most plausible explanation.
He wasn't annoyed with her, nor was he rejecting her.
He was afraid of getting her into trouble, afraid of making her worry, afraid...if he couldn't come back, she would be too sad.
So, he chose to use the most clumsy and hurtful way to push her away with his own hands, trying to build an icy wall between her and him, making her hate him, resent him, and stay away from him. In this way... maybe when he really encountered an accident, she would suffer less.
This realization was like a blunt knife, repeatedly cutting Su Wanqing's heart. She curled up in pain and let out suppressed, animal-like whimpers.
"Idiot... Huo Tingxiao, you big idiot..." She choked and her voice broke, "Who asked you to protect me like this... Who asked you to push me away..."
A huge wave of heartache and fear washed over her like a tsunami. She recalled the fatigue and bloodshot in his eyes these days, the furrowed brows as he massaged his solar plexus, the hollow, heavy gaze he'd occasionally given when he was lost in thought... It turned out that, out of her sight, he was bearing such immense pressure and the test of life and death all by himself!
But she still felt wronged by his neglect, hurt by his harsh words, and even doubted his feelings for a time...
Shame and self-blame wrapped around her like vines, making her feel ashamed.
She didn't know how long she sat on the cold floor, until her tears dried and her body went numb with cold. She finally struggled to her feet. She stumbled to the desk, her fingers trembling and carefully stroking the cold pistol, as if she could sense the blood and smoke that would soon stain it. Her eyes fell on the map marked with the Vulture's nest, and her heart began to throb violently again.
She forced herself to look away, unable to bear watching any longer. She quietly left the study and gently closed the door, as if afraid of disturbing anything.
This night is destined to be sleepless.
Su Wanqing lay in bed, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes. In the darkness, every slightest sound made her jump with fear. The occasional car lights passing outside the window would make her sit up suddenly, thinking it was Huo Tingxiao returning. Any slight movement downstairs would make her hold her breath and listen attentively.
All sorts of terrifying images emerged uncontrollably in her mind—a hail of bullets, explosions, ambushes, blood… Huo Tingxiao's injured form lying on the ground, his cold and stiff appearance… Every image made her tremble with fear, and cold sweat soaked her pajamas.
She had never hated her own powerlessness so much. She could do nothing, could not share the danger with him, could not stay by his side, could not even let him know that she knew everything, that she was worried about him.
She could only wait in vain for the verdict of fate like a bird trapped in a cage, and every minute and every second was torture.
In the second half of the night, there was finally a very slight sound of a door opening and footsteps coming from downstairs.
Su Wanqing's heart instantly jumped into her throat! He's back!
She almost rushed downstairs immediately to see if he was okay. She wanted to tell him desperately that she knew everything. She was not afraid of being implicated by him. She just wanted him to be safe!
But her footsteps suddenly stopped when she touched the door handle.
She can't go.
Everything he was doing now was to keep her away and not let her worry. If she rushed down and exposed everything, it would only disrupt his plans, increase his psychological burden, and make him even more anxious.
She could only force herself to stop, biting her lips hard, digging her nails deep into her palms, using the pain to maintain her sanity.
She heard his extremely tired and heavy footsteps going up the stairs. When he passed her door, he seemed to pause for a very brief moment, and then there was the sound of the second bedroom door being gently opened and closed.
He didn't come to the master bedroom.
He didn't even stay at her door for a second longer.
Su Wanqing leaned against the door and slowly slid down, tears silently falling again. She felt relieved that he had returned safely, but also felt an unspeakable bitterness at the separation between them.
That night, separated by a wall, the two people stayed awake all night.
One licks the stress and exhaustion alone in the darkness, planning a life-or-death operation.
One sheds tears silently in heartache, suffering from worry and fear.
Until the sky turned pale and the dawn appeared.
Su Wanqing dragged her exhausted, almost collapsed body to her feet. She looked at her red and swollen eyes and pale face in the mirror and took a deep breath.
This can't go on any longer.
She couldn't just wait passively and worry helplessly.
She had to do something.
Even if she couldn't change the danger of the mission, even if she couldn't accompany him into danger, she had to let him know that she was here. She wasn't a burden that needed to be pushed away or protected by him, but someone who could shoulder and face it together with him.
She washed her face, trying to look fresher. Then she went into the kitchen and began preparing breakfast. She did it with great care, as if she wanted to put all her worries and hopes into the food.
When Huo Tingxiao went downstairs, the table was already set with porridge and side dishes, as well as a basket of steaming hot crab meat dumplings, fresh from the pot - this was the dim sum he seemed to have eaten a few more times in "Jinglu" last time.
Huo Tingxiao paused at the restaurant entrance. He looked even more exhausted than last night, his eyes bloodshot, his face hard and cold, and the pressure around him was still very low.
His eyes swept across the dining table, lingering on the basket of dumplings for less than half a second, then moved away and sat down with an expressionless face.
Su Wanqing's heart was in her throat. She looked at him nervously, afraid that he would reject her coldly again like he did a few days ago.
Huo Tingxiao picked up the spoon and began to drink the porridge in silence. He ate quickly, as always.
Just when Su Wanqing thought he would not touch the steamed buns and was feeling secretly disappointed, he suddenly stretched out his chopsticks, picked up a steamed bun very naturally, and put it on his plate.
Then he lowered his head and began to eat quietly.
No thanks, no comment, not even a glance at her.
But this insignificant, almost instinctive action made Su Wanqing's heart feel like it was hit by something, and a huge, sour and warm current instantly rushed to her eyes, making her almost cry.
He accepted it.
Even when he had built up walls and tried to push everything away, he still… accepted her feelings.
This insignificant response was like a spring of sweet water in the desert to Su Wanqing at this moment, extremely precious.
She sat down silently opposite him, picked up her spoon, and sipped her porridge. The two of them remained silent, with only the subtle clinking of cutlery in the dining room.
But this time, the silence was no longer cold and suffocating. Instead, it carried a silent, tacit heaviness and... an extremely weak, yet real connection.
She was so worried that she couldn't sleep all night.
The pressure on him was as heavy as a mountain.
But at least at this moment, during this quiet breakfast, they shared the same heaviness and maintained a bond that had not been completely severed.
Su Wanqing raised her head and looked at the cold but tired face of the man opposite her. The idea in her heart became more and more firm.
She couldn't wait any longer.
She had to let him know.
No matter how dangerous the road ahead is, she will face it with him.
After finishing breakfast, Huo Tingxiao put down his chopsticks, stood up, and prepared to leave.
Su Wanqing also stood up immediately, mustering up the greatest courage in her life. When he passed by her, she spoke softly, her voice trembling slightly but very clearly:
"Commander," she said seriously, word by word, looking at his suddenly stopped back, "Whatever you are going to do, please...come back safely."
Huo Tingxiao's back suddenly stiffened, and the aura around him instantly solidified.
He didn't look back or speak.
Only the hand hanging by his side curled up slightly, almost imperceptibly.
Then he strode away without leaving a word.
But Su Wanqing looked at his slightly hurried but still upright back and slowly, slowly breathed a sigh of relief.
She said it.
He heard it.
That's enough.
The rest is left to fate and to... him.
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