Undercurrents and Glimmers
Suffering is indeed a catalyst for maturity, but this catalytic process is never gentle. It is like the high temperature and pressure in a synthesis tower, forcing each molecule to recombine and either transform into a new form or completely collapse.
Lin Xiaoning is experiencing this catalysis.
Days on the production line are made up of countless repetitive gears meshing together. At six in the morning, half-drowsy, I board the shuttle bus. At six, I eat a half-eaten, not-very-appetizing breakfast in the cafeteria. At seven, sharp, I swipe my card, and the characteristic industrial air of dust and rusty metal fills my nose and mouth. At seven-fifteen, I don my slightly oversized dark blue work uniform. At seven-twenty-five, I step into the dispatch room, facing the massive process flow chart on the wall, its intricate network of pipelines, and begin receiving the previous night's output report and equipment inspection records. At seven-fifty, the clamor of handovers between teams pierces the unsoundproof walls, signaling the start of the day's workday. Day after day, repetitive. The massive compressor roars through the factory, its steady rhythm almost a hypnotic white noise, swallowing any sense of the passage of time. The world here feels like it's been enclosed in a giant, sealed reactor: stable, yet suffocating.
This kind of "stability" is an almost cruel waste of time for Lin Xiaoning. She has been the apple of her parents' eyes since she was a child. She has been doing well in her studies. Her beauty and wisdom have always made it easy for her to attract the care and attention of those around her. Has she ever experienced such a "journey of suffering" that can be seen at a glance and seems to never change? Late at night, lying on the hard bed in the dormitory, the tireless hum of the cooling tower seemed to be echoing in her ears, and doubts seeped into her heart like smoke from cold steel and concrete. She began to frequently open the registration webpages for the civil service exam and graduate admissions, and her mouse hovered over the "Confirm Submission" button repeatedly. The mother's sigh on the phone became clearer and clearer: "Xiaoning, come back, take the civil service exam, it's stable and decent, why bother wasting time in that kind of place..."
Each time, at the final moment, her fingers would suddenly retract, as if burned by an invisible force. She recalled Teacher Zhao's blazing eyes when he'd given her career planning advice. He'd said, "True career isn't about choosing a ready-made, smooth path, but about carving out your own footprints where there seems to be no path, and even paving a path for future generations to follow." At the time, she'd thought those words were filled with idealistic fervor, but now, reflecting on them, they tasted a tinge of harsh reality. Was the "real industry" she'd chosen, the path she'd once placed high hopes on, truly just another, more crude, and more naked battlefield of power and calculation? Her thoughts of retreat and doubts grew repeatedly in the quiet of the night, each forcibly suppressed by a sense of unwillingness.
Fortunately, she was not alone in this huge reaction tank.
Ye Yidong's companionship was the most constant warmth during these bleak times. His request to be stationed at the project workshop was justified by the seemingly unspoken reasoning—"Legal coordination requires on-site involvement"—but in reality, it was a tacit understanding. He accompanied her on long night shifts, calmly offering her a cup of hot water when she frowned at a pile of technical specifications. When her chronic stomachache struck in the middle of the night, he drove across town in the rain without a word to buy her her usual medication. When the stern-faced Old Zhou, displeased with "airborne" cadres, deliberately embarrassed her during a shift handover, Ye Yidong always intervened at the perfect moment, using neither soft nor hard rhetoric nor calm logic to help her resolve her predicament, saving both his and her own dignity. He was a man of few words, but he was always there, within easy reach, when she needed him.
Another person who made her feel at ease was the workshop director, Lao Wang. Unlike others who were either distant or indifferent, he would occasionally wander into the dispatch room, saying, "Girl, the meter needs to be read in half an hour, don't forget," or "Seeing you reminds me of my daughter studying abroad, ah..." His concern was detailed and caring, with a touch of down-to-earth warmth. Especially when someone was sick or needed leave... No matter what the problem, he would always resolve it properly, silently telling Lin Xiaoning that the world was not all about oppression and calculation.
And then there was Wu Jiaming. This general manager was a complete technical pragmatist, his mind seemingly consumed by equipment, processes, and efficiency. He showed no interest in the infighting at the top, solely focused on speed on the production line. His world was simple and pure, brimming with the stubbornness and focus characteristic of an engineer, driven by the imperative of efficiency. In him, Lin Xiaoning vaguely saw the same unwavering faith in technology she had harbored when she first entered the chemical industry. Wu Jiaming's practical spirit, like a glimmer of light, illuminated a nearly forgotten corner of her heart.
However, the most vivid and impactful colors came from her roommate Zhang Sike.
Zhang Sike was a workshop statistician, a kindhearted woman with a fiery temper, her personality as unstable as a compound of love and hate. Unlike Lin Xiaoning's quiet and reserved demeanor, she possessed a highly charged emotional state, her joys, sorrows, anger, and happiness all acting like catalysts, their reactions intense and immediate. Her life was like a pulsating rock concert, her love the sudden, powerful blast at the climax. In the dorm, she would either share her love stories or watch her express them over the phone.
Her story with her boyfriend is filled with drama: they had known each other for a long time, but inexplicably "discovered" each other again, both single, at a packed concert, amidst the throng and blaring music. A sudden downpour after the concert served as a natural backdrop for their relationship. In Zhang Sike's words, "The atmosphere was so intense; it would have been absurd not to be together!"
However, the cold reality quickly extinguished this fervent passion. The working environment at a chemical plant was clearly unsuitable for a woman's long-term career. Persuaded by her family, Zhang Sike devoted herself to the civil service exam and ultimately succeeded, becoming a civil servant in a different city. Distance and diverging life trajectories ultimately led to a sad breakup for this couple, who had once planned everything from inviting guests to their wedding to honeymooning.
Zhang Sike demonstrated to Lin Xiaoning what it meant to "dare to love and hate." She could berate her ex-boyfriend as a "heartless bastard" while simultaneously weeping profusely late at night, clutching her phone and looking at old photos. Then, the next day, despite her puffy eyes, she'd energetically drag Lin Xiaoning along to plan weekend hot pot and the latest movie. She was the kind of person who, under the guise of "recovering from a broken heart," would suddenly drag Lin Xiaoning on a train to a neighboring city, screaming uncontrollably on a mountaintop. She was also the kind of person who would provoke a furious argument with someone on the other end of the phone over the slightest thing, only to casually complain about the inedible cafeteria food after hanging up.
Lin Xiaoning often quietly observed Zhang Sike from the sidelines, as if she were watching a highly emotionally charged life drama. She was amazed, even a little envious, of this exuberant, unconcealed vitality. Zhang Sike was like a prism, reflecting another, vibrant possibility of life. Compared to her, Lin Xiaoning felt that the gentle, restrained, and gradual development of her relationship with Ye Yidong seemed so dull, even a little... boring? They also dated. Inspired by Zhang Sike, Lin Xiaoning tried to let down her guard. They would go to a less-noisy concert together, and in a corner amid the bustle, Ye Yidong would tilt his head slightly and listen to her intently. They would go shopping together, he would accompany her to try on clothes one by one, his comments always pragmatic and fair. They would ride roller coasters together, and at the moment of the rapid dive, his warm hand would firmly cover her cold fingers. These experiences were ordinary and trivial, but they were full of the real flavor of life.
Sometimes, Lin Xiaoning even secretly wondered: Are her emotions lacking the passion they should have? Why are they always like a slowly heating reactor, the temperature steadily rising but never reaching a boiling point? She wasn't sure if this was a personality trait, or if deep down, some part of her heart couldn't fully commit, still preoccupied with the towering reactor outside the workshop window and the unsolved mystery.
Until the end of the day.
As usual, she was checking the catalyst consumption report for the previous shift. She scanned the dull figures line by line, and suddenly, her eyes fixed on a certain column—the amount of □□ replenished, exceeding the normal process loss range by 30%. Her heart sank.
A professional alertness instantly overwhelmed all the chaotic thoughts. She immediately retrieved all the storage, usage and loss records of this type of catalyst for the past three months, and her fingers quickly tapped the keyboard to cross-check. The data curve on the screen clearly showed that since about two months ago, the unit consumption of this core catalyst has shown an abnormal but extremely hidden upward trend. This abnormal pattern, this deliberately smoothed data curve... is so similar to the set of production data fluctuations that she accidentally discovered and suffered when she was in the president's office! That time, it was attributed to an unintentional mistake of "mixing statistical units." But this time, in the core system of the calcium carbide reaction with extremely strict technical parameter requirements, the abnormally large consumption of catalysts can never be explained by "negligence." Behind this can only point to a terrible possibility - the reaction environment inside the synthesis tower is deteriorating, or there are extremely hidden defects in the equipment itself. She dared not think further...
Whatever the cause, it represents an imminent and significant safety risk. If a high-pressure synthesis tower were to experience a serious leak or even explosion due to equipment or process issues, the consequences would be disastrous.
The air in the dispatch room seemed to freeze instantly, leaving only the distant roar of the compressor, rhythmically beating against her eardrums. She felt a chill creep up her spine, and at the same time, an unprecedented clarity and calmness enveloped her.
All her self-doubt, hesitation, and uncertainty were dispelled at that moment by a more powerful and urgent force. She seemed to have returned to being that graduate entering the workplace, a firm believer in data and truth, only with a heavier weight of reality in her hands.
She picked up the intercom, her fingers slightly white from the tension. The first number she dialed was Ye Yidong's.
"Yidong," her voice was unusually calm, yet filled with unquestionable determination, "Come here for a moment, something big might happen."
Not far away, the assembly line for the synthetic ammonia production line rose from the flat ground. The setting sun slowly sank behind the massive equipment, tinting the cold towers and pipes with a tragic blood-red. Welding sparks continued to fly, shining stubbornly like endless stars in this steel jungle.
Nothing seems to have changed, but a vortex of change is forming in some places.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
