Chapter 92 Ruyue Heng, you like him, but you don't say it.
"I've been wanting to ask you, are you very tired?"
There was no response.
Su Heng did not avoid Jiang Geyun's gaze. He was unusually stunned and stood still, letting her do as she pleased, as if he had never imagined things would develop this way. For a moment, the air seemed to freeze completely, stretching from this moment to eternity.
Jiang Geyun was somewhat dissatisfied as she did not receive a reply.
She slightly raised her head, and in the next moment—she slammed it down!
Although she couldn't exert much strength as a patient, she could still hear a faint "bang."
"Hmm..."
The culprit felt the pain, moved its head away, and half-lay on the victim, rubbing the sore spot with its good hand.
Just as she was rubbing herself and almost forgot what she had asked, she heard a reply, coming from the air and from his chest, clear yet deep.
I don't think so.
That's really strange.
Jiang Geyun was puzzled.
She counted on her fingers on her intact arm and said to him, "Let's not even talk about your childhood in the palace. Your mother wasn't there, and the emperor treated you like that. You grew up in an environment where you were both pampered and neglected. Now you have to deal with this kind of thing, pretending to be close to people you hate. It's endless and you can't stop. Isn't that tiring? Even if we don't mention all of that, isn't the thing you need to do tiring?"
Another long silence followed.
Su Heng lowered his head and saw the small whorl of hair on the person in front of him, followed by her hair hanging down on him, tangled and intertwined, like a fine net.
Without a word, she leaned into his arms, her movements natural, as if she had done it a thousand times, as if it were only natural, drawing him into her embrace.
He should have pushed the person in his arms away and questioned her about where she had learned this information, or rather, he shouldn't have come to deliver Yueyinglu in the first place.
This is something he would never have done in the past.
Now, he should stand up, rebuke her for her rudeness, and order her to be secretly imprisoned until he finds out where she got the information, and then get rid of her without anyone knowing.
That's what he should be doing.
Just as Jiang Geyun was about to lose her patience, she received a reply: "That's precisely why I don't feel tired."
Jiang Geyun was puzzled, so she asked directly, "What do you mean?"
The person she treats with aloofness is unusually silent tonight.
She waited a while longer before hearing him say, "Would you like to hear a story?"
"I don't really want to," Jiang Geyun said honestly. "Is there any story you haven't told me? No, right?"
In the brief moment when the person beneath her was stunned again, she recounted, "It's not just because I hate having eyes and voices around me that I don't like other people in my room, but also because I liked to sleep on the jade steps in the summer when I was little. I was always advised not to do that, so I thought I didn't want anyone to know my preferences anyway, so I might as well just cut it off?"
"..."
"Or, when asked what you like, you'll say Floating Snow Bud, but you actually like sweets," Jiang Geyun said indignantly. "You like it but don't say it. You're careful not to eat much yourself, but you always feed me sweets. Do you think I didn't notice?"
"...None of them."
Jiang Geyun looked suspicious and said, "Okay, go ahead and tell me."
Do you know my mother?
Jiang Geyun shook her head uncertainly.
He doesn't really talk about his family much.
He would answer if she asked, but coincidentally, she didn't like to ask either.
Perhaps because the conversation had started, the previous silence and stagnation disappeared, and Su Heng did not waver again. He gently told her, "My mother was not human. She was a being that people thought only existed in myths and legends. When she visited the human world, she met my father."
Jiang Geyun said, "Would it be offensive if I said I had some doubts about her judgment?"
Su Heng chuckled, and the vibration of his chest reached her ears again, making her feel a slight itch on her neck.
He said, "No, I think so too. But the emperor back then was very different from the one now. Rather, people are always very different when they are young compared to when they are young. He was young and proud. After witnessing a shocking scene that he had never seen before, he insisted on pursuing her and won her back."
Jiang Geyun frowned and said, "But, if it exists in mythology..."
“Yes,” Su Heng replied before she could finish, “Different lifespans and different abilities are secondary. Their temperament and thinking are very different from ours and ordinary people. She will soon say she is leaving, and I am the bargaining chip to try to keep her here.”
Jiang Geyun listened quietly, without interrupting this time.
She thought of the story of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, of the fairy's stolen feathered robe, and of all the mothers who were left behind because of their children.
She said, "It's better not to succeed in something like this."
Su Heng smiled and said, "She didn't succeed. If she wanted to leave, nothing would be an obstacle. She probably never thought about what would happen if I were left behind. It wasn't that she deliberately abandoned me, but that's how they always treat their offspring. Therefore, she never thought that a father could also harbor resentment towards his son."
"They are born with supreme power and endless life, so they don't find it strange. But people are different. People will feel jealous of different people, and sometimes, the closer they are, the more jealous they will feel."
"Oh, right," Jiang Geyun suddenly realized, "I've seen her before."
In that illusion, she had seen the youngest son who needed to remember his father every day, the youngest son who sang the praises of filial piety—the youngest son whose blood was taken by his father.
Everyone desires immortality.
If one cannot attain enlightenment in this body, then seek it in "treasures".
Her hand, which had been resting on his waist, twitched slightly.
The medicinal scent that he always carried, whether light or dark, had changed from its original serene quality to something that stirred her heart.
Su Heng seemed to sense something, stopped talking, and gently adjusted her position so that she could lie more comfortably on his body.
He said, "You know all this."
Jiang Geyun nodded instinctively.
Su Heng said, "I didn't know that at the time. I found out about these things little by little."
As he spoke, he pulled her into his arms, completely enveloping her body, and looked down at her. He was still smiling; ever since he had resolved to say those words and succeeded in doing so, he had put on a smile again.
He moved closer, almost able to smell her breath, and then murmured, "Why didn't you appear sooner?"
It was clearly an incredibly intimate scene, and Su Heng didn't show any aggression, but Jiang Geyun felt a chill inexplicably rise in her heart, as if there was some dangerous hidden meaning in his words.
Unlike before, she didn't change the subject or simply ignore him and then try to make up for it later. This time, she said directly, "This isn't something I can decide, and you're talking strangely." She raised her hand and pinched his cheek, saying, "Speak properly."
Su Heng looked at her for a moment, blinked slowly, and said gently, "Okay," then added, "I don't blame you."
She knew.
Su Heng said, "Before I knew all this, I went to Yingzhou in search of my mother."
Yingzhou?
Upon hearing the keyword, Jiang Geyun looked up at him.
This action doesn't have any other meaning; it's just like listening attentively.
Su Heng didn't stop and said, "I happened to meet another mother who was fleeing to Yingzhou with her child. She had originally fled with her whole family, but she got separated from her husband on the way and had to take her child alone."
"When I passed by, she was dying, her child was crying in the mud, and the killers had their knives drawn."
His voice remained steady, yet it seemed to carry the damp, cold night mist of Yingzhou.
“I intervened,” he paused, his fingertips unconsciously twirling a strand of Jiang Geyun’s hair, “because I heard that mother’s ‘voice.’ It wasn’t a plea for mercy, nor was it fear of death; it was extreme hatred and regret. She had just learned that the so-called ‘separation’ was a scheme set up by her husband and his enemies to take her life and seize her family’s secret medical manual. She hated for misjudging people and implicating her family, and regretted even more… not being able to protect the child in her arms.”
“Perhaps the emotions were too intense, triggering the bloodline belonging to my mother’s side within me,” Su Heng’s tone carried a subtle hint of reminiscence, “or perhaps it was just a coincidence that when I intervened to stop those assassins, the power underwent an unexpected change.”
"At that moment, I stood on the border between life and death, witnessing the insignificance of the physical body and the resilience of the soul. I suddenly understood why my mother was able to leave so gracefully."
"In their eyes, the body is merely a replaceable vessel, while the soul is the essence. The weight of human love, hate, loyalty, and righteousness is immediately apparent in the dimension of the soul."
"The hypocrisy that human laws cannot overcome, and the sins that the cycle of birth and death cannot immediately settle, can actually be judged in the most direct way through this method."
He lowered his eyelashes, as if recalling something, or perhaps just looking at her.
He said, “Some things, though long sought, can be obtained unintentionally. In that instant, the evil spirits descended and were swept into the sea of sin, while the mother who should have died was brought back to life through her husband’s body.”
"The family she or he controls is now not only a renowned medical family that heals the sick and saves lives, but also the very first one among my countless schemes and my many hidden agents."
He slightly tightened his arms, holding the person in his arms even closer. "With just the slightest change, the wicked are utterly destroyed, and the good are able to continue their will in another way. Isn't this closer to 'justice' than most of the futile struggles and pointless sacrifices in the world?"
She lay quietly in his arms, without responding.
If there's anything Su Heng isn't good at, it's probably this kind of analysis.
He had never said these words to anyone.
Perhaps he will in the future.
Perhaps in the future he will use a more perfect method to get more help and get closer to his goal step by step.
But now, the first listener of all the stories is in his arms, silent.
Indeed, this was not an easy thing to understand, even for her...
"I don't think that explains why you're not tired."
"The person in my arms said."
Su Heng stopped in his tracks, his gaze toward the person in his arms growing ever more profound.
Jiang Geyun casually twirled a strand of his hair.
He had just been playing with her hair, and she wanted to play with it back.
She knew his thoughts, from their origins to their evolution, and everything he had sacrificed for them. Did she understand putting them aside for now...? How could she not be tired?
Although she vaguely felt there were more important questions to ask, those questions were also more complex, and she couldn't figure them out right now. Given her current state, she should put aside what she couldn't figure out and just say what she could.
So she followed her heart and asked that question.
Su Heng did not answer.
She stopped dwelling on it. She chose to avoid questions that were difficult for her to understand. In return, she let him think about what he couldn't understand. She was very magnanimous.
And now she has another important question to ask: "Did you go to Yingzhou Fulong?"
Su Heng smiled and said, "You even know this."
Jiang Geyun said sincerely, "Yes, but it might not be for the reason you think of."
Su Heng's expression remained unchanged; he only tilted his head slightly, a gesture of curiosity, which she knew.
Jiang Geyun said, "We may have met back then."
The moonlight filtering through the window gradually faded.
The Shadow Tree has no flowers. Only at the exact moment between the new moon and the full moon, when it receives the pure moonlight of the entire night, can two or three condensed dews be found in the heart of its leaves. Its nature is extremely yin and moist, and it has the effect of calming the soul and stabilizing the spirit. It can cure serious illnesses. However, when one takes it, one's mind becomes focused and clear, and the effect disappears with the moon.
Su Heng raised his hand to smooth her hair, gently placed her on the bed, and said, "Tell me tomorrow."
Jiang Geyun was puzzled.
However, she had also used up a lot of her energy, and her health was already in a bad state, which was compounded by the injury from the startled horse.
No matter how magical Moon Shadow Dew may be, it's not something that defies the heavens or is unreasonable. After talking for so long, she was indeed tired.
After Su Heng put her down, he was about to get up.
This isn't right, she thought.
She reached out and grabbed Su Heng's collar, planting a kiss on his lips.
Then, she patted him, who was completely frozen in place, and said with satisfaction, "See you tomorrow."
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Author's Note: A heartwarming and sweet chapter~
Actually, if you think about it carefully, this guy isn't particularly sick or extreme. After doing something sick, he would deliberately leave himself some room for maneuver because he knew very well that otherwise it would be impossible to achieve a happy ending with Yun... You could say that his love-obsessed nature outweighs his sickness!
Also: As long as I can still write an update tomorrow, I'll have achieved the goal I mentioned in the previous chapters! Anyway, I'm setting a goal to finish it before December 14th, no matter what. Otherwise, a serialization of around 400,000 words over half a year is too slow (it's already very slow, sorry...).
——
The next day's note: I probably won't be able to update today. Just a heads-up, don't wait. I'm a bit exhausted after working for several days in a row. Actually, I'm so sleepy right now that I wish I could just lie down and sleep all day, but I still have to work first... After I finish work, I'll probably just collapse into bed... Ah, I wish I could just collapse right now...
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