Chapter 78. A Dream of a Lifetime Ago.
Meng Chiwan looked up and saw the wind and clouds churning, but the area where the pale gold circle rippled was as still as death.
She suddenly wanted to take a good look at her own eyes. What could she still see in those eyes that once reflected the fireworks?
The golden light she unleashed stopped above Yun Xianqing's head, then slowly dissolved, scattering all over his body.
For some reason, the Dry Water Sword went awry and slashed his palm. Thick drops of blood fell, but he didn't react; he just stared silently at Meng Chiwan.
Meng Chiwan's voice was still very soft, like silk falling from the heavens: "Yun Xianqing, are you tired?"
His tone contained a faint sigh.
Yun Xianqing seemed to anticipate what she was going to say. The blood in his hand became increasingly eager to escape his control and flowed to the ground. Whether it was an illusion or not, even the blood seemed to want to crawl towards her.
He didn't speak, his hand holding the sword trembling slightly, whether from the wound or something else, it was unclear.
Meng Chiwan hadn't really looked at him properly in a long time, but now her gaze was fixed on him, and she looked at him more intently than ever before.
But there was no emotion in those eyes.
She said, "I'm tired, I'm really tired. I've rarely cried in my life, but ever since I met you, I've been constantly sad, like an endless nightmare."
Yun Xianqing opened her lips as if to say something, but in the end, all her words turned into one sentence: "I'm sorry."
He had said this so many times that Meng Chiwan could no longer discern the truth in his words.
This time, Meng Chiwan simply nodded and said, "Yes, I understand."
She smiled calmly, as if she had really listened, or as if she had only listened out of politeness and didn't take it to heart.
For the first time, Yun Xianqing felt that he couldn't see through a person at all, and he suddenly felt powerless and fearful.
Seeing his seemingly disbelieving look, Meng Chiwan's smile widened even more: "I really do know."
But the smile looked so genuine and sincere that Yun Xianqing couldn't feel at ease looking at it.
His voice was almost hollow, with a tremor at the end that he himself couldn't even perceive: "Chi Wan..."
Meng Chiwan heard this, and she nodded with a smile before interrupting him: "Are you really going to die?"
These words clearly concerned his life and death, but for some reason, upon hearing them, he miraculously felt relieved, as if his heart had suddenly settled on solid ground.
"Does Chi Wan want me to die?" he asked at the end.
He hoped she would say something harsh again, just like before.
But Meng Chiwan's tone was so calm this time that it was impossible to detect any ripples. Only a faint smile floated in the syllables, which made him feel uneasy: "You always ask me if I want to or not, but have you ever cared about my answer? You just want the story to develop in the direction you want, including this self-inflicted injury scheme of yours."
“This isn’t a self-inflicted injury ruse…” he weakly argued.
Meng Chiwan nodded again: "I believe you. But I want to ask you, what do you want me to do this time, and how can I satisfy you?"
The wind around them seemed to stop, and even Yun Yuandai, whom he was holding captive, let out a soft sneer, his voice laced with blatant sarcasm: "Xiao Zhuo, you might as well die. You see, you can't get anyone's love."
He seemed not to hear them, as if those words were shrouded in a layer of mist, making his whole body feel damp, and even his heart felt like it was soaking in water, so suffocating that it felt like it was about to break free of his chest at any moment.
"I don't want Chi Wan to do anything; I just hope she can live a good life." He said this almost mechanically.
“But with you in this world, I can’t live properly. You always disgust me, what should I do?” Meng Chiwan said calmly, her gaze sweeping over his face, which no longer tried to hide his emotions, her fingertips gently brushing away the dust on his body.
"The tenth level will take effect soon." Yun Xianqing lowered her eyes, her Adam's apple bobbing silently as she tried her best to suppress her surging emotions.
She was too calm. So he couldn't possibly become hysterical; that would be too unsightly.
If only she didn't remember these things, if only these things had never happened... He started to hate his other self again.
If only... she doesn't remember.
His eyes were empty, but his knuckles were clenched so tightly they turned white.
Yun Yuandai sobbed twice, seemingly wanting to say something sarcastic again.
Yun Xianqing's empty eyes darted around, and his gaze fell on Yun Yuandai, as if a black hole had engulfed him.
"Yun Yuandai, do you want to experience the pain of being pierced to the bone?" His extremely bad mood made him unable to make any expression on his face. His face was still handsome, but at this moment it really looked like a demon from the underworld.
The next instant, he placed his palm on Yun Yuandai's crown, and a chilling force forcefully poured into his sea of consciousness. Even Yun Yuandai, who would rather break his bones than show the slightest sign of distress, could not hold back at this moment. His eyes widened, and a shrill scream of pain pierced the sky, making people's eardrums vibrate.
In an instant, a strong chill struck Meng Chiwan, but it did not cause any harm.
Meng Chiwan remained completely unresponsive. She was waiting for Yun Xianqing to say something.
"Chi Wan, didn't you want to kill me? Now is the perfect time, what are you waiting for?" Yun Xianqing's water sword churned and twisted, creating countless wounds on Yun Yuandai's body, making his already blood-soaked robes even more glaring.
Even now, he still tries to find emotion on Meng Chiwan's face, to find evidence that she still cares about him.
Unfortunately, Meng Chiwan remained too calm, not even her slightly lowered eyelashes trembled: "But I said, your death is not painful enough."
"Then what constitutes pain?" Yun Xianqing asked her, her lips already devoid of any color.
She gave a soft chuckle. This man had once dreamed of ascending to immortality and never wanted to show the slightest weakness in front of her. Now, she wanted to turn him into a cripple, so that he could never be high and mighty again.
Yun Xianqing lowered her head, seemingly pondering the feasibility of this matter.
When he finally looked up, he had a sincere smile on his face: "I'll take care of Yun Yuandai for you, then you can take me back and torture me slowly, okay?"
Meng Chiwan gently shook her head: "I guess you can't completely die now. At least your clones are still alive. The seal can't kill you. You'll just be hanging on by a thread, barely clinging to life."
Yun Xian listened quietly.
Meng Chiwan glanced at him and continued, "I told you, I'm tired, so I don't want to see you anymore. Therefore, I want to leave another mark on you."
Yun Xianqing's eyelashes trembled slightly, carrying a hint of barely perceptible panic. Then, her lips unconsciously tightened, and even her originally pale lips paled a little from the force.
"What contract seal?" he asked almost mechanically.
"I can never see Meng Chiwan again, and I can never get close to Meng Chiwan," Meng Chiwan said softly, her tone so light it sounded like a sigh.
After saying those words, she seemed to finally feel relieved, let out a long sigh, and her smile regained its sincerity.
"I don't want to. Anything is fine, but not this..." Yun Xianqing refused without thinking, and almost the instant she opened her mouth, he couldn't wait to interrupt her.
He rarely showed such impatience, nor did he rarely beg others so humbly. Since escaping the mortal world and becoming Yun Xianqing, the lofty and aloof Immortal Lord Qingyi had never lowered himself to such a lowly position.
A warm sensation seemed to slide down her cheek. Yun Xianqing reached out and gently touched it, only to realize it was a tear.
He wasn't afraid of pain, nor was he afraid of becoming a cripple; he had lived this kind of life since his youth. But when he realized he could never see Meng Chiwan again, he simply couldn't bear it.
He had just asked Yun Yuandai if he wanted to experience the excruciating pain, but he never expected that he would actually experience it now.
"Immortal Lord, Xihe. This is my last wish for you. Chiwan is no longer willing to be sad. I beg you, Immortal Lord, to be merciful and grant Chiwan's wish." Meng Chiwan's voice was as faint as the petals that fell in the courtyard that year, gently drifting into his ear.
It wasn't until his hands and feet started to go numb that he realized the tenth layer of the seal that truly belonged to him had finally arrived.
Immortal Lord.
Xihe.
How long has it been since I last heard those words from her? So long that it feels like a lifetime has passed.
In my dreams, years have passed in another lifetime.
At this moment, the tears finally broke free.
The girl showed no emotion, but the immortal lord she spoke of was now sobbing uncontrollably.
These words were like opening a scroll, bringing back a flood of past joys and sorrows to both of their minds. Meng Chiwan looked on with relief, but Yun Xianqing couldn't shake off the memories no matter what.
This was probably the last vestige of dignity. Yun Xianqing thought belatedly.
He still refused to agree to Meng Chiwan's proposal, but when he closed his eyes, he could see Meng Chiwan's once beautiful appearance, which contrasted sharply with her current indifferent state.
He's the one who turned her into this. In the name of love, he's made her the way she is now.
No wonder people say that becoming calm is a very painful thing.
Indeed, Meng Chiwan has suffered too much, swallowed too much pain, and shed too many tears to get to where she is today.
The Immortal Lord grants Chi Wan's wish.
He gazed at Meng Chiwan, his dark eyes fixed on her, wanting to remember every inch of her and never forget her.
Yun Yuandai gradually fell silent. The surroundings were excessively quiet, the world was desolate, and a faint glimmer of light seemed to appear on the horizon.
In this desolate and lonely scene, Yun Xianqing felt the golden light that was sprinkled on him gradually seep into his body, followed by a slight pain.
The spiritual veins are being corroded, and the meridians are being shattered. It's getting more and more painful.
He finally opened his bloodless lips, his voice clear yet almost sorrowful: "Chi Wan, I do."
Author's note: It's been a long time since I've used this title; it even felt unfamiliar to me while I was writing it...
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