Chapter 77: Qu Yingsi's Character
01
My name is Qu Yingsi, and I am the youngest daughter of the leader of Xingyang Sect.
I don’t know what my father’s name is. I only know that everyone calls him Old Monster Qu. As for why they call him that, I don’t know either.
From a very young age, I discovered that I was different from others. At first, I didn’t know what made me different from them. I thought and thought until one day, I heard someone calling me a motherless bastard behind my back.
Yes, I don’t have a mother.
It's not just me who doesn't have one, none of my brothers and sisters have one either. We only have a father but no mother. When I grew up a little, I started to wonder why my father had so many children like us even though he didn't have a wife. Were we adopted by him?
This doubt has puzzled me for many years.
On my twelfth birthday, my father remembered me as his daughter and came to celebrate my birthday. He asked, "Sisi, do you have any wishes that you want to fulfill?"
I thought about it and said, "I want to know where our mother is."
"Mother?" Old Monster Qu's expression froze. He seemed unfamiliar with the name. After a long pause, he began to laugh out loud.
"You don't have a mother." I remember my father saying this.
When I thought I was truly picked up by my father, he waved me on before leaving. He whispered to me, "If you want to find your mother, all the female disciples in the Xingyang Sect are your mothers."
"Who knows, there may be women outside the sect including your mother."
I looked at my father blankly, wondering how I could have lived so many years.
Many years later, when I accidentally passed by my father's room and saw him casually hugging a female disciple from the sect and going back to his room, I suddenly remembered the whispers my father had told me many years ago, and the full malice in them came back to me after all these years.
I finally understood that Old Monster Qu was indeed a monster.
2
Perhaps influenced by my father, I found that I have no romantic roots. To be more precise, I cannot fall in love with any man.
But if you don't like it, then don't like it. Although there is no romantic connection, the pleasure between men and women is still quite satisfying after trying it. So when I reached the age to get married, I listened to my father and found a disciple of the chief sect to marry into my family. Unfortunately, he died too young and was angered to death by me not long after.
I have three older brothers and four older sisters. Four of them were secretly killed by my father because they were dissatisfied with his dissolute behavior. One was killed by me, and the last one was driven crazy and committed suicide.
I was the only one who survived. My father said, "Son, life is short. You should enjoy yourself while you can. How can you stay with one person all day long?"
I listened to my father and took three or four lovers two weeks after my wedding. I got into more and more affairs, and even hooked up with a fox demon. Later, the fox demon's real wife came to visit, a soft, pregnant woman. She cursed us all and threw herself into a dead body in front of me.
I got fed up and killed the fox demon right away.
Then, I found out that I was pregnant with the fox demon's child and gave birth to a useless son with no magical power at all.
I call him Qu Yushu. Yushu is the name of the fox demon. I hate him.
3
I have three children, but none of them is my husband's child.
After the third child was born, my father died of a passion murder. Unfortunately, he had so many women and so many women who hated him that I couldn't find out who killed him, even if I didn't want to.
I was holding my newborn daughter and saw my cowardly husband standing by the door, his eyes bloodshot and cheeks sallow. He was staring at me angrily with his fists clenched. I blinked and asked, "Do you hate me?"
He should hate it.
I didn't wait for his answer. I just remember that he turned and left without hesitation. Before he left, he looked at me and said, "You are so pitiful."
He said I was pitiful, but the way he looked at me was as if I were a monster.
I didn't like the look in his eyes, and I was worried that my father's fate would come back to me. I didn't want to die, so I decided to strike first.
4
It rained heavily that day.
I was wiping my sword, thinking about what move to use to pierce my husband's heart, when someone came running to knock on the door in a panic. He said, "Master, Immortal Mo has vomited blood and fainted."
boom--
There was rumbling thunder outside and the raindrops as big as beans were hitting people, which was very painful. I walked back to the room with steady steps and was unable to see him for the last time.
The elder of the Yaowang Sect told me that he died of vomiting blood due to depression caused by depression in his heart for a long time.
Well, that means I was the one who pissed you off to death.
Standing in front of the mourning hall, I couldn't help laughing out loud. I stroked my forehead and laughed for a long time, but I didn't know what I was laughing at.
I didn't realize that my crazy laughter was being misinterpreted as tears in the eyes of others. My shoulders were shaking, and I gradually lost touch with the outside world. Suddenly, a hand landed on my shoulder, and a gentle voice said, "Master Qu, I'm so sorry."
I looked up and saw a young man in purple standing behind me. The accompanying sect leader told me that he was the eldest disciple of Wanfa Shengzun, named Pei Ziyi.
At that time, Pei Ziyi was still young, and he was not yet the immortal master who had the final say in the world of cultivation.
At that time, I was a widow and a mother of three children. I had countless men and my appearance was no longer the same.
I saw the flowers outside the window bloom and then slowly wither before my eyes.
I suddenly began to be afraid, afraid that the curse of the fox demon lady would come true. That woman had cursed that I would be lonely and helpless for the rest of my life, my beauty would wither away, and the person I loved would never love me back.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and I saw myself gradually withering like the flowers outside the window.
5
My name is Qu Yingsi, and I am the leader of Xingyang Sect. I have three children, and I am obsessed with the art of maintaining youth.
I picked up the Phoenix Blood and Tears by accident. I found that it could help me restore my appearance and make my wishes come true. With it, I felt like I had found my heart again.
6
The beginning of Pei Ziyi and I started with a snowfall.
By then, he and I had become very close. He called me Aunt Qu, and I called him Ziyi. He was a very intelligent man, and having recently ascended to a high position, he urgently needed the support of the immortal sects. Perhaps sensing the growing affection in my eyes, he stood by me for a long time that day, holding an umbrella, and suddenly, stiffly, leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.
He said, "I don't want to call you Aunt Qu anymore."
"So what did you want to call me?"
He smiled, lowered his eyelashes to hide his eyes, and called softly, "Sisi."
I looked at him, he was holding an umbrella, the snow was falling outside, I could hear my own rapid heartbeat, from then on I swore that I would risk my life to love this man.
Even though, he was just using me.
7
Pei Ziyi is just using me.
Pei Ziyi always reminds me of this fact.
We have been together for hundreds of years. I have watched him climb to the top with high spirits, watched him become stronger and stronger without the childishness of the past, and seen him occasionally meet my gaze through the crowd, his eyelashes trembling as he quickly looks away. The panic and disgust that flashed in his eyes for a moment deeply hurt my heart.
But it doesn't matter.
I looked at my increasingly younger face in the mirror and was confident that he would fall in love with me one day.
Pei Ziyi can't live without me.
As one of the two masters, his opponent, Qingxi Immortal Master, is a very powerful enemy. If he wants to defeat him, he must have my help. For him, my children can also be used as pawns. After all, I don’t have any feelings for them.
I helped him plan everything and had already thought about our future days, but I didn't expect that Xie Qingxun saw through our relationship. He plotted against me and I almost died in his hands.
When my appearance was completely destroyed and I turned into an ugly, hunchbacked old woman, Pei Ziyi appeared and rescued me. He said, "Sisi, we still have a chance."
I covered my face, not daring him to see it, and yelled in a hoarse, unpleasant voice, "But my appearance is ruined!"
Without my youthful and beautiful appearance, the gap between him and me that had been deliberately hidden was exposed.
I am too old and he is young.
Pei Ziyi was silent for a long time, then suddenly hugged me in his arms, "It doesn't matter, no matter what you become, I will still love you."
I hugged him and cried, and began to hate the night, because in that dark night, I could never see Pei Ziyi's face clearly. I didn't know whether he was sincere or taking advantage of me when he said this to me.
I found that I cared more and more about whether he was sincere to me.
I decided to ask clearly.
8
Pei Ziyi is dead.
Died in front of me.
As I ran frantically to hug him, I suddenly thought of my long-forgotten husband. He stood by the door, staring coldly at me as if he were a monster, and said, "You're so pitiful."
How can I be pitiful? No, I am not pitiful.
I grabbed Pei Ziyi's sleeve, and suddenly I urgently wanted to ask him whether he had ever loved me. I was afraid that if I didn't ask this time, I would never have another chance in the future, but I didn't ask in the end.
I looked at him and he looked at the sky.
I saw the tears in his eyes, his ambition, his resentment, his incomprehension, and his resentment. There were so many emotions in his eyes, all revealed to me, yet he didn't even glance at me.
He said, "I won't give up."
I am also very unwilling.
I was unwilling to see him die in front of me like this. I was also unwilling to see myself lose my courage out of cowardice and not dare to ask him, "Pei Ziyi, have you ever really been sincere to me?"
Even if only for a moment.
I will never get this answer.
It's snowing again, and it's snowing heavily.
I fell to my knees and saw the snow all over the world. My memory stopped at that year when he leaned over stiffly, holding an umbrella, and placed a kiss on my forehead, saying, "I don't want to call you Aunt Qu anymore."
I was born before you, and you were born when I was already old.
Transform into a butterfly to search for flowers, resting on fragrant grass every night*.
I closed my eyes and thought, if only I had met him earlier...
How nice it would be.
The author has something to say: *Excerpted from "Twenty-one Poems on Tongguan Kiln Porcelain" from the Tang Dynasty.
There is one more chapter left, I will post it when I finish it.
Thanks to the little angels who cast mines: Wanxi 1;
Thanks to the little angels who irrigated the nutrient solution: 35 bottles of Sugar Maniac; 1 bottle of Ice Shake Cranberry Blackcurrant, 35493970, and Lonerい;
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