Chapter 4
At the door of the medical room, a rocking chair woven from wooden rattan was rocking up and down, and the old tape recorder on the windowsill was playing "Orchid Grass".
The shade of the trees in the distance cast a cool shadow, and the lyrical and elegant male voice and cheerful melody floated in the leisurely afternoon.
"Thank you for bringing me here, squad leader."
"I've told you so many times, call me Wei Mo."
"Thank you Wei Mo..."
"Every morning I cherish you, every night I cannot forget you..."
"Hey, that's right!" Wei Mo patted Lin Shenyuan's shoulders twice, then looked around curiously, "This place looks pretty good from the outside."
"Um."
Lin Shenshen responded unnaturally.
"There are flowers, grass, and trees for shade..." Wei Mo looked back and couldn't help but exclaimed in surprise, "Wow, a rocking chair with music playing. This old lady really knows how to enjoy herself."
"The garden is full of clusters of flowers, blooming profusely—"
The music stopped abruptly. The old woman looked up at the visitor with suspicion in her eyes. "If you want to visit, you can only go in alone."
Wei Mo: “…”
Old woman: “…”
That taller, smirking boy, still smiling? You're right, he's targeting you.
After Bai Shu left, He Xi was planning to leave as well, but the old woman asked her to rest for a while.
The house was empty, with two walls and two windows. On one side, there were the sounds of students' passionate screams, cheerful laughter, and the clatter of basketballs hitting the ground from the playground.
On one side was the sound of melodious music, the old woman's sometimes loud and sometimes soft humming, and the rustling of leaves...
She was in the middle of quiet and bustle, and in the solitude without any interference, her thoughts flew around uncontrollably like a pair of small wings.
She didn't know how long it had been before she heard some unusual movement outside and glanced sideways.
Lin Shenyuan stood at the door, his head slightly lowered. His expression was unclear in the backlight. He walked towards her and handed her a bottle of water.
The two fell into silent silence.
Strange. He wasn't like this outside just now.
He Xi thought so, but he just took the water, unscrewed the cap, and drank half of the bottle in one breath.
She put down the bottle, her chest heaving slightly, unable to suppress the impulse in her heart any longer.
"He Xi, just say whatever you want to say." Lin Shenyuan's gentle but firm voice slowly sounded in her ears.
Unprepared, the last line of defense in her heart was instantly broken.
"Two years. It's been two years since I fainted and was sent to the infirmary." He Xi stared at the wall opposite him, as if he was looking at it and not looking at it. "When I made this decision, I thought it would only take a day or two, at most a month or two..."
It was like a stone stuck in her throat. After a long time, she sighed heavily, "But, it wasn't until today that I realized I've been going through this for two years."
He Xi was cute when she was a child and became a child model by chance.
The job of a model is probably a dream for all little girls - being dressed up beautifully all the time, having new clothes to wear every now and then, and getting a good salary just by walking a few steps and striking a few poses.
Indeed, He Xi has been the envy of relatives and neighbors since he was a child, and occasionally he is even the child of other parents.
But there is more to it than that. Behind the glory lies her exhaustion, countless sacrificed vacations and a carefree childhood.
Thirteen-year-old He Xi, having started working early, had long since come to terms with these hardships. She had always believed that there was no injustice in human destiny; if you gained what others couldn't, you had to be prepared to lose what others couldn't.
Unfortunately, misfortune does not show mercy to people because of their early wisdom.
He Xi, who had been dreaming beautifully for more than ten years, finally had a nightmare.
At the time, He Xi was thirteen years old, and her modeling career was going smoothly and she was earning the most money. But after all, she was still a child and knew nothing about modeling. She only knew how to stand in front of the camera and skillfully strike poses and make expressions.
When the little girl heard that she had made a lot of money, she became arrogant. She began to resist work and slack off. At first, she would be motivated by her mother to give her a big meal if she worked hard, but now she would only work if she got a big meal.
She gradually gained weight, but she believed that people were born with the same body shape for the rest of their lives. She was born and would always be thin.
Looking back now, the hidden danger had actually been buried long ago and she was completely unaware of it.
Later, more than two people personally told her that she had become fat and needed to lose weight;
Clothes of the original size become too tight and then too small to wear;
Fewer and fewer people wanted to work for her until there were no jobs left.
The money He Xi earned allowed her and her mother to live a very comfortable life for a while, but after all the money was gone, they were no longer as good as before.
The mother, who had no source of income, finally turned her attention to her daughter's figure. When she came to her senses, she was suddenly shocked and brought home a small electronic scale one day.
He Xi stood up and looked at the numbers that were growing exponentially, then she realized that she was not growing, but was actually getting fatter.
The past scenes flashed by, as clear as yesterday. She panicked all of a sudden, tears instantly gathered in her eyes, "Mom, what should I do?"
The mother walked around the room with a serious expression, and finally told He Xi the answer, "Starting tomorrow, you can no longer eat as much as you want."
He Xi nodded with tears in her eyes.
From the next day, I reduced my food intake by half, endured the rumbling stomach and the gluttony in my stomach, persisted for three days, and stood on the electronic scale with trepidation.
"You're still not losing weight, Mom!" Her tone was almost crying.
"What should we do?" The mother looked worried. "How are we going to live the rest of our lives without money?"
Her eyes accidentally swept across the fitness channel playing on TV, and suddenly an idea came to her mother, "Xixi, why don't you try exercising?"
He Xi then started exercising. With her obsession with losing weight quickly, she exercised until she was exhausted before going to bed that night.
The result is that the next day I'm sore all over and having trouble getting out of bed. The more I eat, the hungrier I get. When I need to move, I feel sore and sluggish all over.
For a long time afterwards, she was stuck in this vicious cycle. The more she ate during the day, the less she could move. At night, she blamed herself more and exercised longer. The next day, she ate more and moved even less.
Those days were very painful because she knew it was wrong, but she could only deceive herself and make the same mistake again and again.
Because there seems to be only one answer before her, and that is persistence.
But when she stood on the electronic scale again and saw that her weight had increased instead of decreased, she completely collapsed.
"See, I told you it's no use!" my mother yelled, her usually neat curls draped messily over her shoulders. "Now you're so fat, it's even harder to lose weight."
"Then tell me what the right way is!" He Xi broke down and cried, "How can I lose weight? Tell me, tell me!"
That day they had a big fight but eventually reconciled. As the night wore on, the mother and daughter began anxiously searching for ways to lose weight quickly, day after day.
Diet pills, folk remedies, slimming essential oils, body beauty treatments... after a month, all my money was spent and there was no effect.
They had a lot of foreign debts and they dared not go out, fearing that they would run into someone they knew on the road and be asked to pay the debt.
The rent is overdue, and the landlord keeps knocking on the door to ask for rent, and his attitude gets worse and worse;
I couldn't even afford to eat, so I calculated the time and went out fully armed in the middle of the night to buy convenience foods that were about to expire at the supermarket.
He ate a quick meal each day, covered himself with the quilt, and went to sleep. At night, when he couldn't sleep due to hunger, he could only try to hypnotize himself. When he thought about the glorious past, it seemed like a dream.
Sometimes it's so unbearable that I can only swear a few times, and I can't tell whether the anger is directed at the nagging landlord or the current situation that I can't do anything to change.
This situation lasted for more than half a month, and the landlord's patience was gradually exhausted and reached its limit.
Not long after that, he brought a locksmith company one morning and threatened to evict them if they didn't pay the rent.
The scene was very ugly for a while. The mother tried to argue with them outside for a long time but to no avail. In a fit of anger, she woke her up from her deep sleep under the covers and started another quarrel.
That afternoon, the two desperate people packed up their things and prepared to wander the streets.
At this time, a phone call came in. It was an old client who had worked with him a long time ago. In order to save the fee of the introducer, he made inquiries from many sources and contacted He Xi himself.
The remuneration was very low, and the owner had prepared for several rounds of negotiation in advance, but he didn't expect He Xi to agree as soon as he mentioned it.
That's right, after all, he gained weight during puberty and his value is no longer what it used to be. But he doesn't care, he can still make money by posting pictures.
He Xi put down the phone, feeling that this was not a gift from God out of pity, but an opportunity to turn things around.
These days she has been living a passive life, eating less and exercising more, and her weight has dropped significantly.
Although she was malnourished, had chronic gastrointestinal problems, and her physical fitness was not as good as before, and the whole process was very painful, she lost weight through dieting and is now able to take on work.
She didn't want to keep running away like this cowardly.
As long as she can keep going, even if she takes the wrong path, she will eventually get back on the right track.
He Xi splashed cold water on his face at the sink, looked at himself in the mirror and said to himself.
…
On the first day of work, relying on her many years of work experience and repeated research on popular products, she rearranged the shooting background, modified the original makeup, and after the shooting, she continued to guide the artist who was not skilled enough to retouch the photos.
Due to the short shooting time and the considerable number of shots, the staff on site lost their patience and some even gave up and went on strike.
This incident alarmed the boss, who was very rude. "I can't hire anyone else. You, do his job. Otherwise, get out."
He Xi took a deep breath and opened his eyes again, his eyes more determined than before.
All the remaining staff members were tortured by He Xi and were determined to spread her bad reputation throughout the circle to make it difficult for her to survive.
The boss also felt that this little girl was a nuisance and no longer wanted to go to such great lengths to save a little money.
But to everyone's surprise, this set of product pictures became a hit, creating an unstoppable wave of popularity in the entire circle. At this time, the public's reaction was very subtle.
After becoming a viral sensation, He Xi finally let out a sigh of relief. She was an ordinary person, unable to endure the constant hunger, and even less inclined to care about anything besides her work. However, she wasn't useless.
I can't bear being treated as trash and being indifferent.
He Xi also knew the price of a quick turnaround. But since she had chosen this path, she had no choice but to keep going, even if it meant stepping on the edge of a knife and drawing blood, and crawling forward bit by bit.
"I know this method isn't a long-term solution." In the sunlight, the girl's profile was serene and fragile. "The original plan was very good. As long as everything stabilizes, I'll stop..."
"But," she choked out a sob, her nose starting to feel sour, "I never imagined that two years later I would be just as incompetent as I was two years ago."
Before he could finish his words, tears began to flow.
He Xi lay on the bed and started crying, sobbing softly, tears flowing out of her eyes and falling down.
Lin Shenshen leaned over, touched her head, and said softly, "Look at me."
"It's not shameful to cry." He looked at her red eyes and said seriously, "If you are afraid of being known by others, it's not a problem, I promise."
He Xi was silent for a brief moment, then she covered her face with her hands and burst into tears.
The sunlight was golden, casting irregular flat shadows on the white-painted wall.
The small window was half open, a slight breeze came in, and the beige gauze curtains swayed slightly.
Time is like an old carriage, swaying slowly as it moves, but never stopping for a moment.
The crying sound beside his ears gradually became smaller. Lin Shenshen moved his tightly pursed lips and loosened his clenched fists.
"Lin Shenshen."
He turned around, his eyes already red.
His pupils dilated instantly, and He Xi took a breath in surprise, "Why...are you crying?"
"I..." Lin Shenyuan was also stunned and rubbed his eyes quickly. "I'm sorry. Boys shouldn't shed tears."
"No, I said that because I'm just curious about why you're crying."
Hearing this, the boy's long eyelashes trembled, "I can understand how you feel."
"How do you feel?"
“That feeling of knowing there’s a problem but being unable to do anything about it.”
He Xi took a long breath, "Yeah. That's how it feels."
Lin Shenyuan...is a person with strong empathy.
For so long, she was not unaware of the consequences of dieting, and she had a strong desire to resist the status quo.
The consequence of being powerless is that you always want a result. If it is not good, what if it is bad?
What can I do?
He Xi laughed at herself, and her gaze towards Lin Shenshen became meaningful. She understood that he and she shared the same suffering.
After thinking for a moment, she said, "Lin Shenshen, to be honest, I have rarely seen the men around me cry since I was a child, especially the elderly. They mostly play the role of being indestructible.
For a long time, people have ignored the fact that men and women, adults and children, are all human beings, and there is no such thing as who should cry or not. But most of the time, tears are useless, and we must give ourselves a reason to be strong.
As a member of the human race, I sometimes can't help but feel inexplicably disgusted by men's tears. I think it's not that I think they are cowardly or incompetent, but that I'm just not used to it.
But if it were you, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable at all. Because my intuition tells me that you must have been forcing yourself to be strong for a long time."
Looking at Lin Shenyuan's surprised face, He Xi smiled sheepishly, "I think I've been talking nonsense for too long."
"Hmm..." Lin Shenyuan shook his head. "Every word Ah Xi said was very useful to me."
The bell for the end of get out of class rang quietly, attracting the attention of both of them. They smiled at each other.
"It's been so long."
"get out of class is over, let's go back to the classroom."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
