Chapter 6
The silence of the night was broken by a long, rapid cry.
That night, He Xi was carried into an ambulance and sent to the hospital under the watchful eyes of the onlookers.
My stomach was cramping with pain and cold sweat was breaking out on my face.
I was about to pass out for a second, and all I could see was the hospital ceiling and the huge equipment.
The cold surgical instruments were waved in front of me.
My hands and feet are powerless, as if my limbs are tied up and I can only be slaughtered.
It was like going back to the day when I was 12 and my father passed away.
The night was deep, and the bright stars above had dimmed. The cool breeze had become bitingly cold. She was lying on a wicker chair, sound asleep, when she was bitten by a mosquito. She subconsciously wanted to reach out and swat it, but she found that her limbs had no strength at all, and even her eyelids seemed unable to open.
I've never been so close to death.
Do you have to be a model?
He Xi asked herself in her heart, is this the only path in her life?
He Xi has never been a child with his own ideas since he was a child.
When her mother took her to the street to buy clothes for the New Year, she always liked to decide what style and color He Xi should wear.
The owner of a clothing store said, "Don't just think about it. It's not you who's wearing it. Ask the child if he likes it."
He Xi lowered her head and looked at the price tags of the two clothes, and saw that the one her mother chose was cheaper.
Just say, "I can do anything."
In elementary school, the teacher asked everyone, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
During the winter and summer holidays, I would go to my grandmother's house to play and chat at night before going to bed. My grandmother would always ask He Xi, "Xixi, what do you want to do when you grow up?"
Every time He Xi was asked a question, he would change his answer.
Although she seemed perfunctory, she always answered seriously. Really, when she was little, she thought she could do anything and her future was full of infinite possibilities.
But later she accidentally entered the modeling industry, caught the trend, and achieved some results beyond her abilities.
I don't know when, but with the praise from people around me, I inexplicably fixed my life on this line of work.
"It seems that I am doing well as a model. I will continue to work in this industry in the future..."
I once felt a little proud and happy: "I chose the path I wanted to take early on. Shouldn't I have saved myself twenty years of detours compared to my peers?"
Who would have thought that he would get beaten to a pulp and almost lose his life on this road.
Stupid! So stupid!
You have to make yourself so embarrassed that you don't have the energy to think about whether you will regret making the wrong choice before you think about whether you can take another path.
The smell of disinfectant penetrated into He Xi's nose. He Xi sniffed and couldn't help but want to sneeze.
Although he didn't type, he woke up and slowly opened his eyes.
The hospital ward has a cold color scheme, with white walls, green plants, and a foggy view outside the window.
He Xi turned his head, and a face with extremely gentle eyes appeared in front of him.
Ghost——
Just as she was about to howl, she looked closely and saw that it was Zhang Chaomei. She pulled the corners of her mouth stiffly:
"Xixi, what do you want to eat now?"
The voice was so soft that it seemed that a louder sound would shock the fragile He Xi.
He Xi got goosebumps instantly and looked at Zhang Chaomei with a frown.
Mom, can you be a little more normal?
He Xi swallowed hard, suppressing his discomfort. He found that his mouth was full of the taste of medicine and he didn't want to eat anything, so he replied, "I'm not hungry."
"No, I still need to eat something."
She stood up from her chair and said, "I'll go to the cafeteria to buy you some porridge."
He Xi nodded weakly.
The sunlight poured onto the potted plant by the window, but Zhang Chaomei still hadn't come back.
Still as unreliable as before. He Xi complained silently in his heart.
Ms. Zhang Chaomei is a woman who "runs while crying".
When she was young, her husband died unexpectedly at work. While crying and holding a funeral for her late husband, she ran to her husband's former workplace and made a scene, demanding compensation.
At night, she broke down and cried, talking about how difficult it was for them, an orphan and a widow, to depend on each other for survival. During the day, she sent a message to the person she was interested in: "I have no money to spend, can you give me some money?"
——At that time, He Xi didn’t know how difficult it was for a single woman with a child.
When He Xi was eight years old, a set of his lively and cute photos were spotted by the young sister Zhang Chaomei Gan, a photographer, and borrowed by her to take photos.
Unexpectedly, she became better and better in the filming process, and He Xi became a so-called child model.
Zhang Chaomei finally ended her days of begging men for pity and began to travel around with her.
I have seen the beautiful mountains and rivers of our motherland, made a lot of money, and enjoyed a great life.
But at that time she had not ended her relationship. She said that she could beg a man without being humble, but she could not live without a man.
When I asked her further, she smoked a cigarette with a sad look on her face: "Xixi, don't blame Mom. If I don't do this, I won't be able to forget your Dad."
"There's a saying that goes, 'Everyone I fall in love with later is like you, but they're not you...'" She put out her cigarette and became serious. "Have you noticed that Mom always dates tall, handsome, and muscular men? Oh, by the way, I just can't forget your dad."
Ms. Zhang Chaomei, who could not forget her father, died of stomachache in order to forget her father. On the day of Huolai, she was still healing her love trauma with her young boyfriend.
But at least she still had some maternal radiance and knew to go to the hospital when her daughter was hospitalized.
He Xi felt quite comforted.
My stomach growled twice again.
There were footsteps outside the room, and Zhang Chaomei walked in slowly, wiping her tears.
"Xixi, it's because mommy didn't care enough about you that your health has become like this."
What are you doing again? He Xi frowned unconsciously.
He closed his eyes and asked, "Where's my porridge?"
"I forgot." She sniffed with a tissue, then met He Xi's resentful eyes and said awkwardly, "It's not that I don't want to bring it to you, but the doctor said you can't eat until 2-3 days after the operation."
"oh."
Ms. Zhang Chaomei sat down on the hospital bed, peeling an apple and eating it. She met He Xi's gaze and dodged a glance.
"Do you want to eat?"
He took a big bite and said, "It's not that I don't want to give it to you, but the doctor said you can't eat anything yet."
Then he started to bite the apple and crunch it.
At night, He Xi had severe stomach pain, and Ms. Zhang Chaomei kept talking.
Sometimes he talked about how cute He Xi was when he was a child, and sometimes he talked about how naughty He Xi was when he was a child.
Sometimes he talks about how good he is at educating children.
As she was talking, she suddenly burst into tears and began to wipe away her tears: "Xixi, I'm sorry, I forced you into this state."
"If I'm fat and can't be a model, then I can just give up. I'm going to be crazy and force you to earn money to support me..."
"I'm such a piece of shit!"
"Mom, please shut up. I feel bad..."
"Xixi, now that you're discharged from the hospital, listen to me. I won't be a crappy model anymore. I'll go out to work and support you through college, okay?"
After going to the hospital, He Xi figured things out.
She still doesn't know what she wants or what she wants to do in the future.
But she knew what she didn't want---
She doesn't want to continue modeling.
The night she made this decision, it was late at night, the moon was shining through the window, and no matter how she comforted herself, she still felt a little regretful in the end.
However, the next day, when He Xi got up in the morning, the early sun outside the window was gradually turning red.
The new day has just begun and the future is still long.
The gray earth is covered with patches of mottled golden shadows.
Walking on the way to school, He Xi walked briskly.
Ms. Zhang Chaomei had already talked to her that day and told her that she would handle the model company's affairs and she didn't need to worry about it anymore.
From now on, she just needs to study hard.
“Just focus on studying from now on,” she said, turning around happily.
Of course, there are things I am worried about. For example, since the start of the school year, I have taken a lot of leave and have missed a lot of schoolwork.
For example, she still hasn't made peace with food. Even if it's ordinary white porridge, she will subconsciously feel nauseous if she eats a little too much.
For example, I haven’t seen my classmates and teachers for a long time, and I’m not very familiar with them. I don’t know how to get along with them next.
"He Xi."
Just as he was daydreaming, He Xi looked up and met Lin Shenshen's smiling eyes.
I couldn't help but smile as well, and all the messy thoughts were temporarily thrown out of my mind.
Lin Shenyuan walked over to her and said, "I haven't seen you for a long time. You must be very tired recently. Are you okay?"
Shaking his head, He Xi said, "I don't want to be a model anymore."
Lin Shenshen turned his head and opened his eyes wide in surprise.
He Xi continued, "I won't ask for leave again in the future."
"I must go to school and study hard." After saying this, He Xi turned back nervously. She was saying this to Lin Shenyuan, but also to herself.
After a moment of hesitation, Lin Shenshen smiled sincerely, "That's great! I can see you often again in the future."
He Xi's arrival caused a small ripple in the quiet classroom.
"Hey, have you heard? He Xi, who hasn't shown up in our class for two months since the start of school, is finally here today."
"She's coming today? No way?"
"Today? How did you know?"
"I saw her when I came from the teaching building. She was walking towards the classroom when she ran into the teacher on the way. The teacher called her to the office..."
In the office, the old class teacher looked He Xi up and down, then took a sip of tea slowly and said, "Oh, you've lost weight again."
He Ximo.
"Busy man, why did you think of school today? When are you planning to leave this time?"
He Xi continued to remain silent.
"Listen to me, you might as well drop out of school. Going to school will only hinder your future as a big star or an international supermodel."
He Xi lowered his head and snapped his fingers, "...Teacher, I don't want to drop out of school!"
"Ah?" The teacher opened his mouth wide, revealing half his teeth, which were gleaming white. "So what do you mean?"
"Teacher, I will never ask for leave again. I swear!" He Xi hurried to explain because he was afraid that he would be misunderstood by the teacher if he didn't explain.
The old teacher put down the cup and stood up, "Forget it, you should go back to being your big model."
There was disgust in his words. He Xi stood there, not knowing what to say in response.
I have been holding some thoughts in my heart for a long time, but it is not easy to stop the teacher and cry in front of him.
When he was in a dilemma, the teacher who was walking outside the door suddenly turned around and said, "What are you standing there for? Come on."
"Huh?" He Xi was a little confused. "What are you going to do?"
"What for? I'll treat you to a meal." With a cold snort, the old teacher continued to walk forward angrily.
This is tacit approval of her!
He Xi smiled and followed quickly.
He Xi followed the teacher into the classroom.
I still feel as uncomfortable as when I first walked into this classroom at the beginning of the school year.
Only when I see Lin Shenshen do I feel a little better.
He is her close friend.
I sat down in my seat and hung my backpack on the side of the desk, only to find that the book was already filled with blank test papers from various subjects.
Although she was not here during that time, traces of her presence were left here.
He Xi opened the textbook and his anxious heart finally settled down.
…
At noon, the students went out to eat.
He Xi opened the lunch box he brought with him in the classroom. It was filled with white porridge, half an egg and a green vegetable.
I couldn't help but sigh, it would be a pity to throw it away and it would be tasteless to eat it——
He Xi's stomach and intestines have not fully recovered yet, and he can only eat light food.
I can only eat a little. If I eat a little more, it will be the same as before, I will feel nauseous and want to vomit, and then I can't help but vomit everything up.
In order to make himself look healthier, He Xi could only force himself to eat a little more when eating.
I dare not drink any more - I will vomit if I drink any more.
He Xi was extremely depressed. He mechanically stuffed small spoonfuls of food into his mouth with a look of despair in his eyes.
While I was feeling melancholy, I heard footsteps outside the classroom and a boy trotted in.
He took two or three steps to his seat and took out a packaging bag.
Tear it open with a snap.
He Xi, who was chewing rice porridge, was stunned. He wrinkled his nose and sniffed. The aroma of spicy meat and salad dressing instantly filled his heart.
The hamburger, covered with sesame seeds, is golden and round, full of the aroma of grains, and is held reverently in the palm of someone's hand.
Bai Shu opened his mouth wide, took a big bite, and showed an expression of enjoyment.
He chewed the food in his mouth and it tasted like happiness.
So delicious!
He Xi swallowed his saliva helplessly and put a few more spoonfuls of porridge into his mouth.
Before I knew it, I had already finished half a box of porridge.
He Xi blinked in surprise, and suddenly felt that white porridge was not so difficult to swallow, as long as Bai Shu could feed her live every noon.
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