Chapter 289 Were we really that estranged in our past lives? ...
Qi Chengming's expression froze.
He stood frozen in place like a solid marble statue, his rapid breathing a testament to his blank mind.
'...Returning to the mortal world after death!!!'
He seemed not to understand the meaning of the sentence, repeatedly repeating those six words in his mind.
Wow, they arrived so quickly!
It took a while for the belated, overwhelming joy to wash over Qi Chengming.
"...?" The Imperial Guards followed quietly a short distance behind. Although Youzi was puzzled as to why His Majesty had stopped and seemed lost in thought, he still dutifully stood tall and led the others in waiting without saying a word.
'but……'
Qi Chengming tried to calm himself down and turned around to look.
He hadn't gone far; he could still see the lively scene of clinking glasses inside the open hall, and the expressions on those familiar faces.
In an instant, the world spun around him, and Qi Chengming realized for the first time that he was at a very fateful moment—he was standing at the crossroads of destiny.
Just fifteen minutes ago, he was lamenting and complaining about his past life, wondering why he had acted that way. Little did he expect that just fifteen minutes later, he too would reach the end of this game, receiving his exit ticket. What will he do now?
Perhaps only when all the confusion ends will the answer truly become clear in one's heart.
So at this moment, as Qi Chengming gazed at those few small words, he had already made his decision:
He won't leave.
He missed the modern world, missed everything before he time-traveled, hated the many grievances of this feudal era, and found it hard to resist the loneliness of this world where values clashed and there was no one to confide in. He had thought countless times... if he could leave, he would not hesitate for half a second and would immediately choose to go back, even if he shed a couple of tears, and try his best to forget this nightmarish experience... He was going crazy with the thought.
But Qi Chengming sighed, "Alas."
He has grown up and understands what it means to be "out of control" and what it means for one's values and conscience to prevent one from acting on one's true nature.
His upbringing made it impossible for him to simply abandon everything and leave, whether now or after settling things in Dingguo, he could fake his death. (Should he resort to the same reckless and crude methods he used in his previous life?)
What will happen to Xiao Chengzi, Xiao Dezi, and Nanny Liu? What will happen to his maternal grandparents? What will happen to all those who follow him? What will happen to his soon-to-be wife? What will happen to the suffering people of Dingguo? And his ideals... it's not time to entrust them to others yet.
'Returning to the present world after death'.
Since that's the case...
Qi Chengming smiled a relieved smile. He felt more relaxed than ever before, without any restraint or worries.
The decision was so light yet powerful, it filled Qi Chengming's entire being with joy, giving him boundless courage and peace of mind.
Anyway, this isn't his body, so he'll focus on leading the people of Dingguo to a better life, and then return to the mortal world when he dies.
This is quite fitting for the original owner of the body, the Second Prince.
—Tsk, so I can't understand what my past self was thinking at all!
...
The young emperor walked briskly toward the side hall.
Shen Shuzhi, who had been secretly observing from the back hall entrance for half a day, had a face that looked like a cauliflower, and muttered in confusion, "...What is Your Majesty lost in thought about?"
Song Gu's heart pounded wildly as he watched the new emperor's detached and transcendent demeanor. He was terrified… Could it be that the new emperor had somehow come to understand something? Could it be that he had suddenly realized the truth behind their rebirth, achieved enlightenment, and was about to return to heaven?
Unfortunately, there was nowhere to confide in about this worry, so Song Gu could only quicken his pace to catch up with the new emperor, watching him anxiously.
Grand Secretary Mu exchanged a glance with him, and in a flash, he understood the hidden worry. He also clenched his fist, his heart pounding with anxiety, but he forced himself to remain calm and said, "Let's go. His Majesty must have something to discuss with us."
So they arrived at the side hall.
Qi Chengming looked at these most familiar people, as well as the confidants who had survived to the end.
Grand Scholar Mu, Grand Tutor Wu, Song Gu, Qin Liusong, Shen Shuzhi.
Qi Chengming also left his reserved seat by the window and sat in the corner where everyone was discussing state affairs, joining a group of people. He looked around, no longer hiding anything, and asked, "I invited you all here because there are still some questions I'd like to discuss together."
"In my previous life, was there anything unusual before or after my death?"
The group looked at each other, all showing expressions of shame.
This familiar old question had been discussed a thousand times over, but who would have thought that the new emperor would personally ask it as well:
"Your Majesty...we are ashamed, we really didn't know!"
Grand Secretary Mu, fearing his dissatisfaction, thoughtfully added some details: "About two months before His Majesty's death, there were no major changes in government policies in the court. He only hastily selected an heir while he was ill."
Qi Chengming asked, puzzled: "Has no one even asked about this?"
“His Majesty’s personal affairs are all handled by Eunuch De and Eunuch Cheng, without a word being leaked. But they haven’t been reborn, so our relationship with His Majesty in the previous life…” Song Gu felt somewhat ashamed, his eyes darting around.
Upon hearing this, Qi Chengming realized something was wrong and asked again in shock, "Has your relationship with me... become so distant?"
He first glanced at Song Gu, whose smile was more like a grimace, as if he had done something wrong: "Your Majesty, I only began to be valued after you ascended the throne. By then, I had no idea what Your Majesty was thinking."
Qi Chengming looked at Qin Liusong for confirmation.
Qin Liusong turned his head away guiltily and awkwardly, stammering almost inaudibly: "Your subject... is not an official in the capital."
He looked at Shen Shuzhi.
"I'm out there managing the floods," Shen Shuzhi said, scratching his head. As a commoner and former official, he was secretly delighted to have been recognized and promoted by a wise and discerning ruler. He had spent those years working tirelessly to manage the floods and repay the new emperor.
He looked at Grand Tutor Wu.
"I have already retired and cannot enter the palace." Grand Tutor Wu cupped his hands and cautiously shut his mouth. He thought for a long time about which trusted ministers were around the new emperor in his previous life, but he couldn't think of any who was particularly close to him. Even the imperial physicians didn't have any particular favorites.
Qi Chengming was at his wit's end and finally looked at Grand Scholar Mu.
"...This old minister is accustomed to presiding over state affairs and has requested an audience, but His Majesty refuses to see me." Grand Scholar Mu slowly closed his eyes.
He was a model of a good minister.
He's the pillar of the state, responsible for implementing the new emperor's policies every day, and he's so busy that he doesn't have time to confide in the new emperor. Besides, the new emperor has never intended to do so. It's already difficult enough for Grand Secretary Mu, an old man, to keep up with the new emperor's ideas.
Furthermore, in his previous life, the new emperor always treated everyone with a distant, aloof demeanor, neither too close nor too distant, neither too warm nor too cold—composed and perfect, a good ruler indeed. Grand Scholar Mu never felt there was anything wrong with that attitude, until the new emperor suddenly fell seriously ill, and his private request for an audience was refused. Until the very end, the two didn't exchange any heartfelt words; their final conversation at the emperor's bedside was nothing more than discussing how to uphold the nation's interests and assist the young ruler.
Rather than a heartfelt last testament, it was more like a routine, empty promise.
This emperor—he was too standard and rigid in his conduct.
In his previous life, Grand Scholar Mu didn't think there was anything wrong with him. But in this life, as he spent time with the new emperor, he began to realize that something was wrong. His Majesty in his previous life was clearly problematic in every way!
Qi Chengming fell completely silent: "…………"
He looked around at the faces of the five or six people, and seeing their identical worried eyes, he understood everything.
He finally understood—
"Just tell me straight, what's the difference between me in my past life and me now?"
"..."
"..."
Upon hearing this, Qi Chengming heard a completely different "Qi Chengming" from his trusted ministers, a story of a second prince's rise to power after being enfeoffed, becoming the crown prince, and ascending the throne—a story a hundred times more tortuous and arduous than any other.
He sat on the soft chair, lost in thought for a long time.
"Your Majesty...?" Song Gu, relying on their close relationship, frowned and asked again, exchanging glances with the others. What the new emperor of the previous life was thinking was something only he himself could understand.
"I'm fine." Qi Chengming shook his head, not caring about them for the time being, and said absentmindedly, "...You guys go back first."
"—Your Majesty." This time it was Grand Secretary Mu who said hurriedly, he dared not leave the new emperor alone at this moment.
This was a healthy emperor he had carefully nurtured and raised since his rebirth. What if he suffered a major shock and became—or something terrible happened to him? He's old; he simply can't bear a second such tragedy!
"You all go back first." Qi Chengming's tone left no room for argument.
Even though the ministers were anxious and eager, they could only quietly take their leave and suppress their anxiety as they went out.
The main hall was completely empty, the polished floor gleaming as if it had always reflected light, cold and desolate. Qi Chengming sat alone in the hall, once again enveloped by the intense loneliness that had plagued him since his transmigration. But this time, he did not succumb to this feeling; instead, he surveyed everything in the palace with fresh eyes.
He had already figured out where the biggest problem lay.
In their previous life, the ministers were not reborn.
How did he, who had just transmigrated and whose beliefs differed from everyone else's, cope with his loneliness? How did he implement everything he did while using the infrastructure system?
It cannot be resolved. It cannot be implemented.
This is the real ancient world.
This was the true situation he faced in his previous life.
"No wonder I always felt... that my life was on a simple mode," Qi Chengming murmured, as if laughing at himself.
He had doubted himself several times before, wondering how he could always turn misfortune into good fortune, how his followers would readily bow down to him, and how, whenever he promoted new things or ideas, most of the people he encountered were reasonable and progressive. His life story was like a wish-fulfillment novel; he had followed the predictable path of being exiled to a fiefdom, then dramatically reversed his fate to become the crown prince, and finally usurped the throne as emperor. He could raise his voice and none would respond…
He never doubted that he and the people of Dingguo would not have a good life, so he firmly believed that he should first get through his own calamity and then lead everyone toward this goal.
Looking back now...
It was clear that a large group of like-minded reborn ministers were secretly working together to lift him onto the throne.
And beneath that group of reborn ministers...
Supporting his reborn ministers and bearing all of this is Qi Chengming, the solitary figure from his previous life.
He stumbled and struggled through this unfamiliar world, understanding the brutal clash between ancient dynasties and fantastical tales, and coming to terms with reality. He would still have people who loved him, but under the immense pressure of the era and his ambitions, that last rope was far too fragile to break.
Therefore, 'he' did not form deep bonds with anyone.
Only then, after receiving rewards later on, will they choose to abandon everything and return home without hesitation.
"Yes, looking back, if I hadn't received so much kindness, would I have chosen to stay for them and for Dingguo?" Qi Chengming murmured, repeating the words that captivated him.
"……go home."
Qi Chengming from his past life has returned home.
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