Chapter 99 Accepting Different Things at Different Ages
Actually, Song Yilin wasn't sure either. She hadn't said anything because she was afraid Xu Qingmin would care more. People say you shouldn't talk too much about your ex with your current partner, because it's easy for your ex to have vivid memories, and if they do, they'll care more. So it's better not to say anything.
Therefore, Song Yilin has never mentioned this matter.
"You were in the hospital when I gave birth, right?"
"Yes, I left as soon as I saw the baby being taken out."
"About an hour after the baby was brought out, I was the only mother in labor and there was only one midwife. The midwife saw that I was fine and felt that it was boring to stay in the delivery room alone. She was also in a hurry to disinfect the delivery room and the waiting room, so she let me out early. As soon as I got to the ward, I had a major hemorrhage. I was saved, but I continued to bleed on and off for a year after giving birth."
Xu Qingmin didn't hear what Song Yilin was going to say next. He stood up in a rage and said, "Which midwife is who? I'm going to kill her."
Song Yilin quickly grabbed Xu Qingmin: "It's all in the past, don't get agitated, let me finish."
Xu Qingmin saw Song Yilin holding his hand and his emotions calmed down considerably.
“I had just recovered when Bai Ye suddenly started bleeding heavily from his stomach. After a check-up at the hospital, it turned out he had cancer. He underwent treatment for two or three years, but they couldn't save him. I don't remember the day Bai Ye and I got drunk. I don't know if we had sex, but judging from a series of events, we didn't. Bai Ye's health improved at times, and his illness didn't completely prevent him from having sex, but he always refused to have intercourse with me. At the time, I thought it was because of some problems with his body due to chemotherapy, so I didn't worry too much. Now I understand that he knew his illness was incurable, and he was leaving me a way out. So, do you know why I feel so guilty?”
Xu Qingmin stood up: "Song Yilin, what I care about is not your body, never has been."
What he cared about was that Song Yilin had fallen in love with another man, and that she had loved Bai Ye for a longer and deeper time than he had.
She was willing to suffer with him and fight against illness together. Whether she was willing or forced, she had been a widow for him for so many years. She took the initiative to want to have sex with Bai Ye, but Bai Ye refused. They had a platonic love. He was like a love that was picked up by chance, and he had to coax and deceive her to have sex with her.
Bai Ye was like a guiding light in her life, leading and protecting her all the way.
He was happy that she had met someone who loved her, but he was also jealous that such a perfect person had come along to love her.
That man is irreplaceable.
There will always be a place for that person in her heart.
Song Yilin didn't understand why Xu Qingmin seemed even more unhappy.
She has already said everything she wanted to say, no matter what.
She never said such things to anyone, after all, it wasn't something to be proud of. She had been married for many years and had always coveted her husband's body, but she never got it before she died.
Xu Qingmin went out all night and didn't come back.
Song Yilin sent him a message.
He only said he was drinking with Gu Sinan.
At their age, going to these kinds of entertainment venues is commonplace for them, and they won't overthink things just because the other person goes to such places.
Inside the bar.
Gu Sinan put his hand on Xu Qingmin's shoulder: "Brother, why are you asking me to drink again?"
"You came when I asked you for help, didn't you?"
Thinking about his own situation, Gu Sinan picked up his wine glass in frustration: "Wang Qianqian has been avoiding me a lot lately, I can't find her no matter how hard I look for her."
Xu Qingmin seemed to remember something, but swallowed the words he was about to say.
If Gu Sinan knew that Wang Qianqian had gone to Binzhou City, he would definitely rush there.
It's foolish for a grown man to do something like that. He's done it before, and he doesn't want his brother to do it.
Xu Qingmin silently bumped his glass against Gu Sinan's.
"Why are you upset too? Song Yilin still doesn't want to marry you?"
"She agreed a few days ago."
"Then what are you still upset about?"
“She agreed to marry me not because she had feelings for me, but because she wanted to sacrifice her own marriage to fulfill her child’s wishes. She still had feelings for Bai Ye.”
"Seriously? You have a child. Isn't it normal to get married because of the child? Even if she liked Bai Ye, he's already dead. Can he come back to life and compete with you for him? Everyone has a white moonlight. If you care about this, you're being petty and not manly at all."
But his ideal woman was her.
He was her first love, but not her ideal man, nor the person she loved most.
When he encounters her, he suddenly becomes unlike himself, which startles even himself.
When I returned from the bar, the woman inside was already asleep. In order not to disturb her, I took a pillow and went to the sofa in the living room.
Perhaps, in the first half of her life, she couldn't compete with Bai Ye, but in the second half, as long as her heart belongs to him, that's enough.
When Song Yilin got up to get a drink of water in the early morning, she was startled to see the person on the sofa.
Song Yilin nudged him with her hand: "Xu Qingmin, wake up."
Xu Qingmin was completely sober. It was as if the person who appeared in his dream had pulled her into his arms and covered her lips with his. His tongue invaded her territory and intertwined with her tongue.
His hands began to wander, exploring her body.
Song Yilin's heart was in her throat. This was the living room; the child would see it when he came out.
"Xu Qingmin, wake up, this is the living room."
Upon hearing her voice, Xu Qingmin immediately pinned her down on the sofa.
While he was taking off his clothes, Song Yilin used all her strength to guide him into the house.
Lock the door from the inside.
When they arrived at the room, Xu Qingmin had also woken up quite a bit. He slowed down his pace and gently aroused Song Yilin's desire.
He whispered in her ear, "Yilin, call my name."
"Xu Qingmin?"
"That's not how it works."
"Qingmin!"
"Sweetie, relax."
Is Xu Qingmin drunk? He doesn't look drunk at all.
More brutal and more ferocious than before.
It looked just like their first time together.
But after their reunion, Xu Qingmin was always very gentle. Even that time in the car when he was very angry, he didn't lose his temper.
Today he felt like he had completely let go and indulged himself.
It turns out that after their reunion, he hadn't changed; he was just restraining himself. He was still quite possessive, but she seemed to have learned how to keep her distance from other men, and he was slowly learning to trust her.
In matters of sex, he restrained his natural instincts; however, she had matured and preferred his current unrestrained nature.
During each siege, Song Yilin tried her best to control herself and not let out a cry.
She almost bit her lip until it bled.
Xu Qingmin noticed her restraint and sealed her lips with his, allowing her to become more fully immersed in the experience.
That night, Song Yilin felt like the whole world was spinning, it was so unreal.
It's true that people can accept different things at different ages.
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