Chapter 48
Jin Xi was also flustered. She lingered in the bathroom for over half an hour before emerging, even finishing her hair dry in the living room at her slowest pace, simply to procrastinate. By the time Jin Xi got into bed, it was already the next day (past midnight). The air conditioning in Jin Xi's room was on full blast, and when she saw Ren Qiao'an, she saw only a furry head peeking out from under the covers. Jin Xi called softly, "Ren Qiao'an?" There was no answer. Assuming Ren Qiao'an was asleep, Jin Xi climbed quietly into bed.
Jin Xi's bed is very big, more than enough for two people to sleep. Ren Qiaoyuan curled up on one side of the bed and Jin Xi on the other side. The distance between the two people can still accommodate one more person.
After tossing and turning for such a long night, Jin Xi was already sleepy. She lay on the bed and yawned several times, tears in her eyes. Jin Xi reached out to turn off the light and lay down on her side.
After turning off the lights, the world suddenly seemed to be quiet. In the silent darkness, Jin Xi couldn't fall asleep. The faint sound of breathing and the warmth of another person were all beside her. Jin Xi turned around and faced Ren Qiao'an. She could vaguely see a figure. Was Ren Qiao'an really asleep? Jin Xi suddenly wondered.
Jin Xi stretched out her little paw tentatively, and just as her paw touched someone's waist and abdomen, Ren Qiaoyuan shuddered and dodged away.
Jin Xi retracted her paws in surprise, "Ren Qiao'an, you're pretending to be asleep."
“…” Ren Qiao’an continued to pretend to be dead.
Not getting a response, Jin Xi poked Ren Qiao'an's back with her finger again, and Ren Qiao'an moved again. At this time, Ren Qiao'an was like a salted fish, moving only when poked.
Jin Xi asked with a smile: "Ren Qiao'an, why are you pretending to be asleep?"
Ren Qiao'an's muffled voice came from under the quilt, "I didn't do that. Don't talk nonsense."
"Then I called you, but you didn't answer me."
Ren Qiao'an stuck her head out, turned over, opened her eyes, and stared at Jin Xi, "I was about to fall asleep." The implication was that Jin Xi had woken her up.
"You're lying. You're just pretending to sleep." In the darkness, Jin Xi saw Ren Qiao'an's shining eyes. He didn't look like he was about to sleep.
Ren Qiaoan replied emotionlessly, "No, I don't."
"Haha~" Jin Xi was too lazy to argue with Ren Qiao'an, "Are you childish?"
Ren Qiao'an curled his lips, "Not as childish as you. Why are you touching things instead of sleeping?"
"No way." Jin Xi's face turned red. Fortunately, it was dark and Ren Qiaoyuan couldn't see the embarrassment on her face.
“…”
Ren Qiao'an looked at Jin Xi quietly. Although her face was blurry, he felt as if he could clearly see every subtle expression on her face. Perhaps because he was too nervous while waiting, Ren Qiao'an was now calm. "Can't you sleep?"
The two hadn't seen each other for nearly forty days. Jin Xi missed Ren Qiao'an very much, and now Ren Qiao'an was right in front of her, less than forty centimeters away from her.
"Ren Qiao'an."
"Um?"
"Ren Qiaoan..." Jin Xi had never wanted to rely on someone so much before. "Will you hate me?"
The more dependent you are, the more afraid you are.
“…”
Jin Xi's cautious questioning reminded Ren Qiao'an of that night, the disgust in Jin Xi's eyes, and the cold question, "How do you see me? Is it the same as them?" Ren Qiao'an might not have understood why Jin Xi asked such a question before, but now she understood it all too well. Jin Xi was an extremely fragile child. It wasn't that she didn't care, but she was afraid of caring, and then getting hurt.
Ren Qiaoyuan reached out and accurately grabbed Jin Xi's hand in the dark, placing it on his chest.
"Don't ask that." Ren Qiao'an held Jin Xi's hand. She didn't like Jin Xi denying herself or doubting herself. "You're fine. Whoever hates you, that's their problem."
"I don't care about others, I just want to know you, Ren Qiao'an." Jin Xi held Ren Qiao'an's hand back. Many people hated her. Jin Xi knew that she could not care about others, but Ren Qiao'an was special.
Ren Qiao'an's fingertips slipped into Jin Xi's fingers, making the two hands tightly pressed together. Ren Qiao'an's eyes were burning, "No, I like you." When Jin Xi was still Guiqulaixi, when Guiqulaixi sang to her, Ren Qiao'an's heart was moved.
Perhaps, falling in love is a moment, but liking someone is a gradual process.
On one side are fingers intertwined, on the other side is a sincere confession.
Jin Xi suddenly felt like crying. Ren Qiao'an was too gentle. Did she really deserve this gentleness...this love...
"I've had three relationships. Actually, I didn't like them very much, but I was still with them and talked about love with them. Like you said, I was not responsible at all and treated love as a game, starting casually and ending it in embarrassment." There were some words that Jin Xi didn't dare to say during the day, "Just like when I chatted with you online, I thought it was fun at first, and never thought about chatting with netizens... Later I found out that you were the person next to me, I was panicked, but also felt it was magical, so I concealed the real information and continued to chat with you..." And then... I couldn't extricate myself from it. Jin Xi buried her head in the pillow. Some words were hidden in her heart for too long and became a knot that was hard to ignore, "I deceived you, I am willful, always disregarding other people's feelings, and doing my own thing. Do you still like me like this? Do you really like me like this..." Tears blurred Jin Xi's eyes. She didn't dare to raise her head, didn't dare to face Ren Qiao'an. Jin Xi was afraid to raise her head and see Ren Qiao'an's disappointed eyes.
"Jinxi." Ren Qiao'an sighed silently. "No one is perfect. I have many shortcomings and have made mistakes. Just like you said, when we first met online, neither of us took it seriously. It was fate that brought us together in real life. The past is in the past and doesn't matter. What matters is the future and whether you want to be with me. Let's work together to become better, okay?"
Jin Xi hugged the pillow tightly in her arms and held Ren Qiao'an's hand tightly, as if only this would give her strength. "Okay." As long as Ren Qiao'an continues to like her.
"You know, I actually have a very bad temper, but no one notices it because I never lose my temper in front of them, so they all think I have a good temper." Ren Qiao'an also has countless shortcomings. She changed her posture, lying flat on her back, looking at the ceiling, and said slowly, "Also, I'm an extremely stubborn person. If someone tells me something is wrong, I will believe it, but I will still try it again, even if I know the outcome will be bad and that it will be futile. I'm also very selfish and will never do anything that is not good for myself..."
"Hmm..." Jin Xi buried her face in the pillow, holding Ren Qiao'an's hand, feeling warm and at ease. Ren Qiao'an's soft whispers were like a warm breeze, entering Jin Xi's ears and floating out again.
"When I was a kid, I bullied the neighbor's kid. We played house and I rode on his back like a horse. He disagreed, so I asked my brother to beat him up. I was really bad back then. Now, I avoid him when I see him because I'm too embarrassed." Ren Qiao'an suddenly recalled her childhood embarrassment. In fact, there are many bad tastes in her personality, which is a side of Ren Qiao'an that she usually hides. "I am also very emotional. Don't look at me always smiling. In fact, I am very pessimistic inside. I feel that tragedy is the eternal theme of mankind. Life is like that. I can't change it, so I can only choose happiness..."
Ren Qiao'an was speaking intermittently, but the people around him gradually fell silent. Ren Qiao'an turned his head and found Jin Xi's little face was exposed, flushed, and she was breathing evenly and long through her nose, obviously she had fallen asleep.
Ren Qiao'an propped himself up and looked at the person in front of him quietly. This kind of Jin Xi was something Ren Qiao'an had never seen before. She was like a little hedgehog injured after a storm, curled up in a nest, keeping warm alone, so adorable.
Ren Qiaoyuan lowered his head and kissed away the tears that were still lingering in the corners of Jin Xi's eyes.
"Don't cry, silly."
Ren Qiao'an's love turned into a gentle sigh.
After saying that, the person in front of her trembled slightly. Ren Qiao'an thought she had woken Jin Xi, and her body stiffened. However, she saw that Jin Xi just gathered the pillow in her arms and showed no sign of waking up. Ren Qiao'an felt relieved. She glanced at Jin Xi's pillow. It was a salted fish with four legs, a pair of fish eyes, dull and lifeless. It was so ugly...
"..." Ren Qiao'an suddenly had some doubts about Jin Xi's aesthetic taste. Without thinking any more, Ren Qiao'an pulled out his hand, turned over gently, closed his eyes, and began to fall asleep. However, just when Ren Qiao'an was conscious, a hand wrapped around his waist from behind, startling him and waking up immediately. Fortunately, Ren Qiao'an was aware that there was someone next to him, so he didn't react much. Ren Qiao'an froze for a while, and seeing that Jin Xi didn't make any other movements, he gently took the hand on his waist away. Ren Qiao'an doesn't like to be touched by others when she sleeps, which makes her unable to relax.
But after a while, slender and warm hands came up again. This time, it was not only hands, but Jin Xi's whole body pressed against him, as if she was treating Ren Qiao'an as a big pillow, rubbing and hugging him.
His back was filled with soft touch, and his neck was warm with every breath. Ren Qiaoyuan dared not move, his face flushed, seven parts dry, three parts hot, and his mind was very distracted.
Ren Qiao'an now knew the purpose of the salted fish pillow...
Ren Qiao'an didn't know how she fell asleep. When she woke up, Jin Xi had changed her position, and in her arms was that ugly salted fish pillow again. Ren Qiao'an looked at the salted fish pillow with disdain. When she saw it clearly in the morning, it was even uglier.
He Xiaoxiao woke up hungry. Last night, He Xiaoxiao got up in a daze and took a bath. After washing, she fell back into bed and fell asleep again. Even her hair was half dry and half wet. He Xiaoxiao seemed to smell a fragrance. She ran to the living room with a rumbling stomach. Sure enough, the fragrance was even stronger.
"Xixi~" He Xiaoxiao thought it was Jinxi making food, so she ran to the kitchen excitedly, only to see a strange figure. The SpongeBob SquarePants girl in an apron, holding a spatula in one hand and chopsticks in the other, turned her head and smiled at He Xiaoxiao, "Good morning."
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