Chapter 32 Breaking Bad's Dimensional Attack
"A contest of poison skills?!"
The moment the name Tuoba Yu was uttered, the Hall of Preserving Harmony erupted in chaos.
The officials, both civil and military, were all deathly pale. Losing in a contest of music, chess, calligraphy, or painting was one thing, at most a loss of face, but a contest of poisons… that could be fatal!
"No! Absolutely not!"
The Minister of Rites was the first to object, saying, "Poisoning is an unorthodox and extremely dangerous practice! How can the Princess Consort, a woman of noble birth, be allowed to take such a risk? This is against the rules!"
"rule?"
Tuoba Yu sneered, toying with the whip in her hand. "In our Northern Yan, the rules of the strong are the rules! What, is your Regent's Consort, whom you've been fighting so fiercely, a coward who wouldn't even dare to touch poison?"
As she spoke, she looked at Jiang Mianmian provocatively, "If you're afraid of dying, kneel down and kowtow three times right now, and this princess will let you go!"
Jiang Mianmian stood there, looking at the arrogant and domineering girl in red, her heart completely unmoved, and she even felt a little like laughing.
[Comparing poisons?]
Little sister, you're trying to show off your skills in front of Guan Yu (a legendary swordsman) or Lu Ban (a legendary master carpenter)!
Back in the apocalypse, to survive among mutated plants and hordes of zombies, I practically memorized the Compendium of Materia Medica and the Resident Evil Survival Guide. Mutant poisonous mushrooms, corrosive acids, neurotoxins… I ate them like snacks!
"This little bit of arsenic and arsenic you extracted in ancient times? Its purity is barely enough to give me a pick-me-up."
“Your Highness,” Shen Jin turned his head and looked at her calmly, “if you are unwilling, no one can force you. I will have her dragged out right now.”
Although he had never seen Jiang Mianmian use poison, he heard her inner thought: "Kindergarten level."
Since she thinks it's at a kindergarten level, then... this is a sure thing.
"Your Highness, rest assured."
Jiang Mianmian gave him a reassuring look, then turned around and smiled slightly at Tuoba Yu. That smile had a kind of kindness that Tuoba Yu couldn't understand.
"Since the princess wants to play, then this princess will play with her."
Jiang Mianmian slowly rolled up her sleeves, revealing a section of her jade-like wrist. "However, this poison is indiscriminate. If the princess accidentally poisons herself later, don't blame the food we cooked for her."
"Arrogant!"
Tuoba Yu was furious and clapped her hands, "Guards! Bring up this princess's treasure!"
Soon, two Northern Yan guards carried up a dark box.
As soon as the box was opened, a nauseatingly sweet and pungent odor instantly filled the air. Inside, there were all sorts of bottles and jars, as well as several brightly colored poisonous insects kept in cages.
The entire room erupted in uproar, and the timid palace maids covered their eyes in fear.
"This is the 'Seven Deadly Powder' personally concocted by this princess!"
Tuoba Yu picked up a small red porcelain bottle, looking smug. "This poison is colorless and odorless. Once ingested, death is certain within seven steps! Even a divine physician reborn would be unable to save you!"
She placed the porcelain vase on the table and looked at Jiang Mianmian defiantly:
"Let's have a contest of poison identification! This is a mixture of the venoms of forty-nine kinds of poisonous herbs and insects. If you can identify all the ingredients within the time it takes for an incense stick to burn, without using silver needles or tasting it, just by smelling it, then I, the princess, will consider you the winner!"
"Not only that, if you're right, this princess will drink this bottle of poison herself!"
That's ruthless.
This is gambling with your life.
The assembled imperial physicians all shook their heads. Just by smell? How could that be? If this "Seven Deadly Powder" was truly colorless and odorless as she claimed, then it would be impossible to detect by smell!
"How about it? Do you dare?" Tuoba Yu pressed closer.
Jiang Mianmian looked at the small red bottle and sighed helplessly.
Sigh, young people these days are so arrogant and ignorant.
[Colorless and odorless? That's just fooling laymen. With my enhanced sense of smell, this thing smells even stronger than stinky tofu!]
Without saying a word, she walked straight up to them.
Under everyone's watchful eyes, Jiang Mianmian did not lean over to take a deep breath as everyone expected. Instead, she kept a distance of half a meter and simply fanned the air gently at the mouth of the bottle with her hand.
It's like complaining about some smelly garbage.
"I've finished smelling it."
Jiang Mianmian withdrew her hand, took out a handkerchief from her bosom, wiped her nose, and looked disgusted.
"ha?"
Tuoba Yu was stunned. "You just... slapped it? What are you pretending for! You didn't even smell it, did you?"
"I can smell it."
Jiang Mianmian shrugged. "Such a simple formula, how long do you need to keep smelling it? Who are you looking down on?"
"You!" Tuoba Yu was speechless with anger. "Fine! Then tell me, what's in here?"
The entire audience held their breath.
All eyes were on Jiang Mianmian.
Jiang Mianmian cleared her throat and began reciting the names of poisonous plants like a menu:
"The main ingredients here are three qian of Gelsemium elegans, two qian of Crimson Crown of the Orchid, and one qian of venomous fang powder from the seven-step snake..."
She spoke very quickly, in a clear and crisp voice, without any pauses.
Tuoba Yu's initially smug expression gradually stiffened as she recited each name, eventually turning into terror.
"...The auxiliary ingredients include Tripterygium wilfordii, oleander juice, and unripe bitter almonds..."
"Wait! This can't be!"
The Northern Yan poison master behind Tuoba Yu couldn't help but exclaim, "How...how could she know so much? She even said the exact amount?!"
Ignoring their shock, Jiang Mianmian continued to deliver the final blow:
"...In addition to these conventional poisons, you also added half a rotten toad skin and...a spoonful of expired goat milk to increase the toxicity?"
When the topic of "expired goat milk" came up, Jiang Mianmian looked like she had something to say but couldn't quite put her finger on it.
"I was wondering why it smelled so bad. Oh, it's this stuff. Little sister, even making poison requires hygiene! This goat milk has fermented. Are you trying to poison someone or make them stink to death?"
Tuoba Yu was completely dumbfounded.
Goat milk... that was accidentally spilled into the mixture the day she was mixing it. She thought no one would notice, but she didn't expect this woman to smell it.
Is that a human nose? It looks like a dog's nose!
"All...all correct..."
The poison master from Northern Yan knelt on the ground, trembling, looking at Jiang Mianmian as if she were a monster. "Forty-nine ingredients, not a single one wrong! He even...he pointed out the impurities!"
The hall was deathly silent, then erupted in thunderous applause and cheers.
"The Princess is mighty!" "Amazing! Absolutely amazing!" "Look at the princess's face, it's turned green! Hahahaha!"
Chen Jin sat in the high seat, his fingers gently stroking the inside of the teacup, the smile in his eyes almost overflowing.
[His nose is sharper than a dog's.]
Her self-deprecating humor was quite apt. However, this "dog nose" certainly brought Da Gan a lot of face.
"What? The princess doesn't believe me?"
Looking at the petrified Tuoba Yu, Jiang Mianmian asked with a smile, "How about I recite the 'Complete Book of Poisons' for you again?"
Tuoba Yu came to her senses, her face flushed red, feeling both ashamed and angry.
She lost.
We lost completely.
Compared to this seemingly weak and harmless regent's wife, her supposedly remarkable poison skills seemed like child's play.
"You...you definitely cheated!"
Tuoba Yu couldn't accept this fact. She suddenly grabbed another blue porcelain bottle on the table, a hint of madness flashing in her eyes. "What about this one? Can you smell this 'blood-sealing throat' too?"
As she spoke, she actually uncorked the bottle and was about to splash it on Jiang Mianmian!
"careful!"
Shen Jin's eyes sharpened, and he was about to make a move.
But Jiang Mianmian was faster than him.
Instead of dodging, she reached out and caught the bottle precisely.
"Stop fooling around."
Jiang Mianmian's voice suddenly turned cold, carrying a chilling sense of oppression, "This bottle doesn't contain poison at all, it's high-concentration realgar wine with a little fluorescent powder added. Are you trying to scare me?"
[That's it? Fluorescent powder? Are they trying to give me special effects makeup?]
Jiang Mianmian flicked her wrist and poured the bottle of "poison" directly into the potted plant next to her.
Sizzle—
A puff of blue smoke rose from the soil in the pot, but the plant did not wither; instead, its leaves became even greener.
"Look, even grass can't be poisoned."
Jiang Mianmian shrugged. "Princess, it seems you'll have to retake your chemistry class... oh no, your poisons class."
Tuoba Yu completely broke down.
She not only lost in terms of skill, but also in terms of intelligence, and now even her last trump card has been exposed in public as a "fake."
"You...you're bullying me!"
This powerful princess, who once dominated the grasslands, suddenly burst into tears in front of everyone.
"Waaaaah... I want to go home... The Dagan people are too scary... I want to tell my father..."
Looking at the princess squatting on the ground crying like a 200-pound child, Jiang Mianmian shook her head helplessly.
[You're already crying? Your mental fortitude is lacking.]
[Fine, since you gave me a chance to show off, I won't make you drink that rotten poison.]
Jiang Mianmian took out a White Rabbit milk candy from her sleeve, unwrapped it, and stuffed it into the mouth of Tuoba Yu, who was wailing with his mouth wide open.
"Hmm?"
Tuoba Yu's crying stopped abruptly.
A rich, milky aroma melted in her mouth, sweet and comforting, instantly soothing her wounded heart.
"Is this the antidote?" Tuoba Yu asked, sobbing.
"No."
Jiang Mianmian patted the icing on her hands and smiled kindly, "This is 'Shut Up Candy.' Once you eat it, stop crying, it's giving me a headache."
Tuobayu: "..."
She held a candy in her mouth, looking at the woman in front of her who she both hated and feared, yet who was also giving her candy; her feelings were extremely complicated.
This thrilling "Breaking Bad" showdown ultimately came to a dramatic end with a White Rabbit candy.
Shen Jin looked at the princess who was feeding candy to the enemy country's princess and shook his head helplessly.
This woman is not only poisonous, but so poisonous that she's...addictive.
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