Chapter 1 On her wedding night, the princess was cursing in her heart.
In the Great Gan Dynasty, in the dead of winter, the wind was as cold as a knife.
A ten-mile-long procession of red bridal processions stretched along the main streets of the capital, the deafening sound of suona horns and the clamor of gongs and drums mingled with the suppressed murmurs of the common people. Today was the joyous occasion of the Regent Prince Shen Jin, who held immense power in the court, marrying Jiang Mianmian, the eldest daughter of the Right Chancellor.
However, the entire capital secretly shook its head and sighed at the prospect of this marriage.
Who doesn't know what kind of ruthless figure Regent Shen Jin is? Although he possesses an otherworldly, ethereal beauty, he is violent, ruthless, and suffers from severe mysophobia and misogyny. It is said that those who tried to place people in his household are now long dead.
And what about Jiang Mianmian, the eldest daughter of the Jiang family? She was known as the "most sickly beauty in the capital," panting after taking three steps, speaking in a voice softer than a mosquito's buzz, and fainting at the slightest fright.
This is no wedding, it's clearly a funeral.
Inside the eight-bearer sedan chair at this moment.
The bride, Jiang Mianmian, who should have been weeping and trembling with fear, was now sprawled on the cushions, her beautiful face under the veil contorted in a grimace.
"cough……"
She coughed softly, her delicate fingers adjusting the heavy phoenix crown on her head.
To an outsider, this cough sounded full of sorrow and weakness.
However, in Jiang Mianmian's mind, a frenzied outburst, like a volcanic eruption, was underway:
[Holy crap! What kind of junk is this? So what if it's 24K gold? Is setting it with so many gemstones to flaunt wealth or to commit murder? My neck is about to break! This is a scene that could cause severe cervical spondylosis!]
Jiang Mianmian took a deep breath, trying to adjust her posture to make her neck a little more comfortable, but the extremely gorgeous phoenix crown was like a five-fingered mountain, pressing down on her head.
[What a tragedy! Even when I was single-handedly hacking down three streets of zombies in the apocalypse, I never suffered like this! I finally transmigrated into a book, only to become a sickly woman who gets out of breath after just a few steps, and now I have to marry that legendary, ruthless, perverted regent… Wait, why is this sedan chair still shaking? It's making me want to vomit! Can't you drive a little more steadily? Does this driver—oh no, do these sedan chair bearers not have a driver's license?]
That's right, the current Jiang Mianmian is a completely different person inside.
She was a power-type superhuman from the apocalypse, who fought for ten years in a world where order had collapsed and monsters roamed everywhere. In the end, she died from exhaustion while covering her teammates during a zombie horde.
She thought that death would mean a peaceful end, but when she opened her eyes, she found herself transmigrated into an ancient romance novel called "The Emperor's Beloved," becoming the cannon fodder original wife who wouldn't survive more than three episodes.
The original owner, Jiang Mianmian, was the legitimate daughter of the Prime Minister's family. She was timid and weak-willed. Due to the interests of her family, she was forced to marry the Regent. As a result, she was so frightened by the Regent's coldness on her wedding night that she fainted. Less than three months later, she died because of the resentment in her heart, making way for the later female lead.
[Fine, what's done is done. In my past life, I toiled to fight zombies; in this life, I'm a rich heiress and an official's wife, so my only goal is—to lie low! To be a lazy bum that no one can shake! Nobody can make me work hard! Nobody can!]
Jiang Mianmian made a grand vow in her heart.
Once she gets through this damned wedding night, she plans to find a secluded courtyard in the Regent's Palace, live a life of leisure, indulging in mountains of gold and silver, and enjoying a decadent feudal lifestyle.
Just then, the sedan chair suddenly stopped.
The matchmaker outside called out loudly, "Alight from the sedan chair—"
Immediately afterwards, an arrow, accompanied by a sharp whistling sound, slammed into the sedan door with a "thud"!
This is a traditional wedding custom called "shooting away evil spirits," intended to drive away any bad luck the bride brings. However, if it's done too forcefully, it becomes a blatant show of force.
The arrow was extremely powerful, causing the entire sedan chair to shake three times, and the arrow tail was still buzzing.
Jiang Mianmian's body trembled violently, a physiological reaction of fear—this body was far too delicate.
She immediately got into character, curled up into a ball, and let out a barely audible gasp: "Ah...how scary..."
Her voice trembled, like a frightened fawn, making the hearts of the matchmakers and maids around her break.
However, Jiang Mianmian's inner monologue instantly switched to bold text:
[Shoot! Shoot my ass! What kind of idiot invented this disgusting custom? What if I miss and it hits the sedan chair? I'd be dead before the wedding ceremony even begins! That power, that accuracy... this must be the Regent's doing, right? Fine, Shen Jin, huh? I'll remember this! The day I regain my powers, I'll hang you on the city wall and shoot you into a pincushion!]
[Calm down, Jiang Mianmian, you need to calm down. You're a fragile, helpless little flower right now; you can't let that persona crumble. You have to endure the humiliation and bear the burden; you have to hold on for the sake of your wonderful, carefree life!]
Outside the sedan chair, in front of the Regent's Palace gate.
Shen Jin, dressed in a bright red wedding robe, stood with his hands behind his back. He was tall and slender, with a handsome face, sword-like eyebrows, and a pair of narrow phoenix eyes that were as deep as a cold pool, yet exuded a coldness that kept people at a distance.
He truly loathed the wedding.
Not only because he was a spy forced upon him by the Empress Dowager and the Emperor, but also because he had a secret that no one knew—the ability to read minds.
Since waking up from poisoning five years ago, his world has become chaotic. As long as there are people within ten meters, he can hear the darkest, greediest, and most hypocritical voices in their hearts.
Beneath the fawning smile lies a vicious curse; beneath the respectful kneeling is a greedy scheme.
These voices buzzed in his ears day and night like countless flies, giving him splitting headaches and even making him want to destroy this world full of lies.
Therefore, he hated crowds, and he hated women even more. When those women approached him, their inner thoughts were often even more grating, filled with a desire for power and fantasies about his body, making him nauseous.
Today is his wedding day, and with guests gathered all around, countless chaotic thoughts surged towards him like a tide.
"Your Highness is truly blessed... (Hmph, marrying a short-lived woman, let's see how long you can be so arrogant)" "Congratulations, Your Highness... (This Jiang family girl probably won't survive tonight)" "Your Highness is mighty... (I heard he's impotent, I wonder if it's true)"
Shen Jin's brows were furrowed, and his face was so gloomy it seemed as if water could drip from it. The oppressive aura emanating from him made the surrounding temperature drop several degrees, and the matchmaker trembled with fear, not daring to step forward.
He just wanted to end this farce as soon as possible and throw this troublesome woman into the backyard to fend for herself.
According to the procedure, after kicking down the sedan chair door, he would lead the bride out.
With a cold expression, Shen Jin strode to the sedan chair. He was mentally prepared to listen to the woman inside, her voice filled with fear, calculation, or greed. After all, she was Prime Minister Jiang's daughter, the daughter of that old fox—what good could she be?
He lifted his foot and kicked the sedan door impatiently.
The matchmaker lifted the sedan curtain.
Shen Jin stretched out a hand, but although it was meant to guide, it was suspended in mid-air, showing no intention of touching the other person, and his eyes were full of disdain.
A slender, white hand, seemingly fragile enough to break at any moment, emerged from the red sleeve and tremblingly rested on the matchmaker's hand, not his.
Immediately afterwards, the bride, whose head was covered with a red veil, leaned out of the sedan chair, her body trembling.
"Your Highness..."
A sweet, soft voice called out, carrying a great sense of grievance and a hint of ingratiation, as if the person had suffered a great shock.
Shen Jin sneered inwardly: Sure enough, it's that same pretentious trick again.
However, in that very instant, a sudden, crisp, and extremely rude voice exploded directly into his mind without warning—
[Scream! Scream! Call my soul back! Can't you see my legs are numb? This lousy sedan chair is making my butt crack! This damn phoenix crown must weigh at least twenty pounds, it's pressing my neck into my chest! Where's that bastard Shen Jin? Where the hell is he? Shouldn't he be helping me up? Is his hand broken or has it been amputated? What's he doing standing there like a statue!]
At that moment, a rare crack appeared on Shen Jin's usually indifferent expression, which was as unchanging as an iceberg.
His steps abruptly halted, his pupils contracted slightly, and he subconsciously glanced around.
who?
Who is speaking?
So vulgar! So outrageous! How dare you call him...a dog of a man?
Moreover, this voice was completely different from the noisy, murky, and malicious whispers around him. It was clear, loud, and even had a strange... vibrant rhythm, like a sledgehammer that directly shattered the annoying buzzing in his ears.
His calm gaze instantly locked onto the bride in front of him, who looked as if she could be blown away by a gust of wind.
Everyone around held their breath and dared not make a sound, but her hands were still trembling slightly.
[What are you looking at? Never seen a beautiful woman's legs go numb before? Oh my god, why are these steps so high? Am I going to fall and die? No way, I'm going to faint, I'm going to stage an accident! Now's the perfect time to pretend to faint! Countdown three, two, one...]
Shen Jin's eye twitched violently.
Just as Jiang Mianmian's body went limp, preparing to perform the "delicate bride fainting" scene according to the script, a long, strong hand suddenly reached out without warning and grabbed her wrist.
That hand was cold and hard, with an undeniable strength, and it forcefully lifted her falling body back up.
Jiang Mianmian: ? ? ?
[Holy crap? This plot isn't right! Isn't this jerk supposed to be a germaphobe? Isn't he supposed to be a misogynist? The book says he won't even touch a woman's clothes, and if he does, he has to wash his hands and skin raw! Why is he grabbing me? My plan to stage an accident is ruined! Let go, you bastard! I'm lying down!]
As Shen Jin listened to the frenzied roar in his mind and looked at the bride in front of him, whose wrist he was holding and whose body was stiff but who still had to pretend to be submissive, an unprecedented strange feeling welled up in his heart.
This woman's hypocrisy is just too... outrageous.
“Since the Princess Consort is unwell,” Shen Jin suddenly spoke, his voice deep and magnetic, yet tinged with amusement, “I will naturally offer my assistance.”
Although Jiang Mianmian couldn't see his expression through the veil, the sound gave her goosebumps.
She quickly feigned surprise and leaned closer to Shen Jin, saying shyly, "Thank you for your consideration, Your Highness. I... I was just too excited."
【What's with the excitement! I'm starving! I was dragged out of bed at 5 a.m. to do my makeup, and I haven't even had a sip of water yet! This Prince's mansion is so stingy, they didn't even prepare a snack. After the wedding ceremony, I have to be taken to the bridal chamber and drink the wedding wine... Wait, I heard the wedding wine is awful, can we have cola instead? Or even milk tea if that's not possible... I want spicy crayfish, I want hot pot, I want barbecue...】
As the two walked side by side into the main hall, Chen Jin's mind began to be bombarded with a series of dish names.
Spicy crayfish? Cola? Milk tea? What are those?
Shen Jin had always disliked talkative people, and even more so those who couldn't keep secrets. But strangely, although Jiang Mianmian's inner thoughts were dense and vulgar, they didn't give him a splitting headache. On the contrary, her inner thoughts were like a strange kind of "white noise," miraculously suppressing the hypocritical and disgusting inner thoughts of the guests around them.
When she started mentally reciting the menu, he even felt a lot more at peace.
The feeling was like being in a stinking swamp and suddenly smelling a pungent yet incredibly real aroma of cooking.
When stepping over the fire basin.
The matchmaker shouted, "May the newlyweds step over the fire basin and have a prosperous and thriving life!"
Jiang Mianmian looked at the flames that were half her height leaping up in front of her, and shrank back in fright, saying in a tearful voice, "This fire... it's so big..."
[Is this supposed to burn heretics alive? Such a huge fire! My wedding dress is made of silk, it's highly flammable, you know?! If it catches fire, I'll just hug Shen Jin, this popsicle stick, to put it out! We'll all turn into roasted pigs! Burn, my calories!]
His steady fingers tightened slightly.
Want to hug me and turn into a roasted pig together?
What audacity!
But surprisingly, he didn't shake her off. Instead, he slowed down for the first time, matching her snail-like pace, and steadily stepped over the fire pit.
"The prince is so considerate to the princess..." the unsuspecting guests around them exclaimed.
Shen Jin remained expressionless. He simply wanted to see what other curses this woman could come up with in her mind.
Finally, the day of the wedding ceremony arrived.
"First bow to Heaven and Earth—"
Jiang Mianmian bent down with difficulty.
[Ouch, my back! This damned feudal ethics!]
"Second bow to the parents—"
Jiang Mianmian bowed again before the empty main seat.
[Bye-bye, my foot! I wish you all a speedy... oh wait, I can't say that, or I'll get struck by lightning.]
"Husband and wife bow to each other—"
Jiang Mianmian turned around to face Shen Jin.
Even through the veil, she could feel the oppressive chill emanating from the other person. It was the aura of someone who had truly killed and seen blood.
She mentally cheered herself up: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, Jiang Mianmian, you're the best! Although he's a big tiger now, in my eyes, he's just a paper tiger that hasn't fully evolved. Once I figure out the layout of the mansion and steal enough money for my trip, I'll take the silver notes and fly far away to Jiangnan to buy a big house, keep ten or eight male concubines, and listen to music and watch plays every day. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Whoever wants this scoundrel can have him!"
His calm eyes narrowed slightly, a dangerous glint flashing in them.
Keeping ten or eight male lovers?
To fly far away?
It seems he married not a little white rabbit, but an ungrateful wretch and a crazy woman who talks nonsense.
The two bowed to each other in prayer.
Just as their heads touched, perhaps because Jiang Mianmian was lost in thought and the phoenix crown was too heavy, she lost her balance and fell straight forward!
"ah!"
A gasp of surprise.
Just as the heavy, pure gold phoenix crown was about to become a murder weapon and crash heavily into the Regent's noble chest.
If it were anyone else, Shen Jin would have slapped them away with a single blow.
But in that instant, a terrified scream from Jiang Mianmian echoed in his mind:
[Oh no! The brakes failed! We're going to crash! Either my neck will break or my head will be smashed open! My stunning looks! My grand plan to lie down and rest! Am I going to die before it even begins?!]
Shen Jin sighed.
As if guided by some unseen force, he reached out and steadily supported her shoulders.
The expected pain did not come.
Still shaken, Jiang Mianmian leaned against Shen Jin's arm. Even through the heavy wedding dress, she could feel the steel-like muscles in his arm.
She paused for a second, then quickly composed herself, her voice soft and tearful: "This concubine...this concubine has been impolite, Your Highness, please forgive me..."
[That scared me to death! This jerk reacted pretty quickly. I have to say, that physique... his pecs are really well-developed, rock hard. Looks like he works out a lot. Just for those pecs, I'll give you an 80, to slightly salvage your negative image in my mind.]
Shen Jin: "..."
He took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to throw the woman out, and coldly uttered two words:
The ceremony is complete.
"Send them to the bridal chamber!"
With a loud shout from the matchmaker, Jiang Mianmian felt as if she had been granted a pardon.
[It's finally over! The bridal chamber! The bed! The soft pillows! Here I come! As long as I can outlast this jerk, tonight will be my own private party!]
Watching the figure being surrounded by maids and eagerly "escaping" to the backyard, Shen Jin stood still, his originally cold lips strangely curving upwards into a barely perceptible arc.
"Your Highness?" Ying, the personal guard beside him, was startled. "Are you... alright?"
Could it be that the prince has been driven mad with anger?
Shen Jin withdrew his gaze and gently stroked the spot where he had just touched Jiang Mianmian's shoulder, where a faint trace of warmth seemed to linger.
"It's nothing."
He turned around, and for the first time in this noisy winter night, he felt that the Regent's Palace was not so lifeless anymore.
Since she wants to "lie flat" and "keep male lovers," then he wants to see what kind of trouble this two-faced little fox can stir up right under his nose.
Tonight's wedding night seems to have become something to look forward to.
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