Chapter 91 Push it, Sisyphus - Trust does not go gentle into...
Rooftop.
Lin Xi stood on the edge of the rooftop, drinking milk tea leisurely.
After a while, footsteps were heard and Zhu Fujingguang walked beside her.
Lin Xi reached out and handed Zhu Fu Jingguang a cup of milk tea: "I bought two cups, hot pearl milk tea, 70% sugar, shouldn't be too sweet."
Zhu Fu Jingguang took it in astonishment.
He was shot in the left arm and just stopped the bleeding, but the burning pain was still there. The girl had already stuffed a cup of milk tea into his right hand.
Still warm.
"There are no more fast-healing bandages. Perhaps hot tea with milk will make you feel better."
Lin Xi drank milk tea and looked into the distance.
Unlike the dead silence of last week, the streets are now peaceful and harmonious. People are leaving get off work and school, couples are walking together, and families are walking together, all doing their own things.
The bustling voices of people and the chirping of birds combine to create a scene of human life under the warm setting sun.
Zhu Fu Jingguang remained silent.
He closed his eyes. Ever since he went upstairs, various images have been constantly emerging in his mind.
Those pictures are extremely real and lifelike, as if they are right in front of us, and along with the pictures, there are also surging emotions.
Zhu Fujingguang tried to treat these images and emotions as hallucinations that occurred after being injured.
But he couldn't convince himself, because those images and emotions were too real, so real that whenever Zhu Fujingguang thought of them, he felt like he was going to fall into endless despair.
Every time it started from this rooftop and ended with his - or her - death.
He thought he was about to fall into another cycle of despair... but this time it seemed very different.
The red-haired girl stood there, drinking milk tea, without any other movements, just looking into the distance.
After he came over, she handed him a cup of hot milk tea, as if all of that... all of that, had never happened.
Before his mind could react, his body had already taken action before his brain, and he took the milk tea reflexively.
Then naturally took a sip.
Although his right arm was still aching and he was still being hunted, he had to admit...
The milk tea is delicious.
His mind began to drift in strange directions, like, Punch was really good at picking out food.
Whenever they were on a mission, if Punch was around, she would take them to a nearby restaurant for dinner. Her taste in food was impeccable, and every restaurant she chose was delicious, making one wonder if she had done her homework beforehand.
For example, the last time she took him to eat at the soba restaurant in Nagano Prefecture.
It was delicious and reminded Zhu Fujingguang of his childhood before his father and mother passed away.
But after thinking about this, Zhu Fujingguang couldn't help but wonder, what about Punch? What was Punch's childhood like?
At what fork in life did Punch become a member of the organization and an enemy with opposing views?
Then the words on the paper airplane appeared in his mind again -
【homesick】.
It seems that whether it is a public security undercover or an organizational cadre, people all over the world have the same simple wishes, Zhu Fu Jingguang thought.
That is going home. It seems that everyone has a hometown that they can never return to. It stands behind them on the road of life. They can recall it when they turn around, but they can never go back.
He pulled himself back to reality from his wandering thoughts and asked, "Senior, you..."
But the girl waved her hands, seeming impatient: "Are you going to say those depressing words again?"
"I'm tired of hearing that!" She mimicked the words perfectly, her expression suddenly becoming melancholy: "'Kill me, senior...', 'We are on different sides, don't save me...'"
Zhu Fujingguang blushed.
Oops, I said I didn't feel anything, but when Punch imitated him I suddenly felt so ashamed.
He coughed lightly: "Senior, this is not what I want to talk about."
Lin Xi touched his chin: "Does that mean you have to tell me your bank card password before you die?"
Although he knew that Punch was joking, Zhu Fujingguang actually seriously considered the possibility of this sentence.
The public security salary plus the organization's salary should be quite a lot, although Zhu Fujingguang never calculated it. Ever since Punch made him think about reimbursement for everything, he rarely used his own money when traveling.
...But Punch probably doesn't need his meager salary.
"…If you want?"
Lin Xi: ...
No one would complain about having too much money, provided that his salary is not paid by her.
"You keep it for yourself." She was a little helpless. "What do you want to tell me?"
"senior……"
Zhu Fu Jingguang stared intently into Lin Xi's eyes, "Please don't get angry after hearing what I'm going to say next."
"You tell me, I'll be angry depending on the situation." Lin Xi said unhappily.
Look, what are you talking about!
I already knew she would be angry and would definitely start saying those words again...
"Senior, don't tire yourself out." The young man with cat eyes said seriously, "I've lived to this day, seen many beautiful scenery, and made many very important friends. I'm already lucky enough."
He thought of Zero, his brother, and the chaotic police academy days he and his classmates had spent together, and smiled softly.
How can I not be lucky?
He used to have self-destructive thoughts, blaming himself for not having died in the fire with his parents the night they died, but he had encountered so much beauty along the way, so many people who loved him, that he was almost thankful.
"I'm so lucky... Even if I died right now, I wouldn't regret it."
Lin Xi looked at his expression and quickly realized that what he said was from the heart.
She sighed quietly.
It’s always like this…
She knew what Zhufu Jingguang wanted to express.
Look at what he said. Wasn't he hinting to her to give up on him and stop trying to save him?
She had a vague feeling in the first few rounds. Every time she went back, she wasn't the only one who would have memories of those rounds. Sometimes, other people around her would also have them.
For example, Morobushi Kagemitsu and Gin.
It must be said that this made her feel a little ashamed.
It was so embarrassing that she had screwed up so many times and she wasn't the only one who knew about it.
Fortunately, neither of them said it too obviously, but just hinted at her, otherwise she would really have to use her toes to build infrastructure and carve out countless three-bedroom, one-living-room apartments on the floor.
"I know, Shirakawa..."
"Please call me Zhu Fu Jingguang, senior." Zhu Fu Jingguang suddenly said.
The expression on his face suddenly relaxed, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his body.
He remembered that the girl had almost called out his real name once. But after that, no matter how urgent the situation was, she never missed it again, always calling him Shirakawa, Shirakawa, Shirakawa...
That pseudonym was like a thick wall, constantly reminding Morobushi Jingguang of the difference in their identities and the deception on which their relationship was built.
But they have experienced... so many deaths, why should they be obsessed with their identities when they were alive?
"You already knew that, right, Senior?" he said. "Shirakawa Hiroshi is just a pseudonym."
Lin Xi was a little surprised, then he crossed his arms and said jokingly with a smile:
"Who accompanied you undercover? This is definitely the Waterloo of his career."
Why are you telling everyone everything, Mr. Zhufu?
She was surprised to find that Zhu Fujing's light had become visibly brighter.
So living under a pseudonym is so stressful for Zhufu Jingguang?
Who sent this guy undercover?
Zhu Fujingguang smiled sheepishly: "Since you didn't tell anyone else before, you should keep it a secret from now on, right?"
"That's not necessarily true," Lin Xi raised an eyebrow. "After this incident, maybe everyone will know about it, okay?"
She guessed that the exposure of Zhu Fujingguang was related to the organization's undercover agent in the public security - Rum had mentioned this to her last time.
She didn't know the specific details of his exposure, maybe she could ask later.
Zhu Fujingguang smiled and said, "Then... you know."
Besides Punch, who else in the organization would care what his real name is?
Lin Xi curled her lips, took another sip of milk tea, and looked into the distance.
This time she even brought her home sun hat, the brim of which cast a small shadow on her face.
Zhu Fujingguang looked at her and suddenly asked, "Senior, have you figured out a solution?"
After so many reincarnations, this was the first time he saw the girl so leisurely.
"Of course. Who am I?" Lin Xi said unhappily, "Can you trust me a little more? I can definitely save you if I say I can. There's nothing in this world I can't do. Just trust me."
Her tone was arrogant, as if she was not the one who shot at the sun acupoint in the previous round.
"But you, have you finally stopped yelling at me to give up on you?"
Zhu Fu Jingguang said helplessly: "If what I said was of any use, you wouldn't be standing here now."
Since resistance is futile, just lie down.
Zhu Fujingguang had said those words to the person in front of him many times in his endless reincarnations, and he also knew how stubborn the girl was.
She won't listen.
Morofushi Kagemitsu remembered what his brother had said to him: "'If you encounter a problem that you cannot solve, you can ask Miss Shibahara for help.'"
Brother Gao Ming sees things much more clearly than I do.
But Brother Gao Ming probably doesn’t know that Punch would be like this... Please help.
"Humph, wouldn't it be better if you just listened to me earlier?" the girl said. "Oh, I forgot to ask you..."
"Zhu Fu, what kind of flowers do you like?"
Zhu Fu Jingguang was slightly stunned.
He pondered for a moment. "As for flowers, I don't have a particular preference... If I had to choose, irises, right?"
In fact, Zhufu Jingguang did not have any special preference for irises.
It was just that when I was visiting an art exhibition with Zero, I happened to see the irises painted by Van Gogh.
The combination of the quiet irises and the painter's wild brushstrokes creates a vigorous vitality that seems to break through the paper, which shocks people.
The flowers left a very deep impression on him, so when Punch asked, Zhu Fujingguang thought of irises first.
Lin Xi frowned in distress.
The iris blooms in spring, which is long gone now.
Maybe she could find some that were greenhouse grown.
She glanced at the setting sun.
It's almost time.
"Listen to me, Zhufu. From now on, you must trust me wholeheartedly. Don't resist anything I do to you. Just do as I say, and it's best not to even think about it."
"Only in this way can you live to earn two wages, maybe three, plus a high pension... Hey, hey, you guy, be serious and stop laughing!" Seeing the smile on the young man's face, she said a little helplessly.
Zhu Fu Jingguang stopped smiling.
He nodded. "Okay."
As an undercover agent, he certainly couldn't trust the organization's cadres wholeheartedly, as Shirakawa Hikaru, but as Morufushi Kagemitsu, he could.
...Perhaps before the girl asked him to trust her, Zhu Fushigami had already subconsciously trusted her.
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