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At that time, Xing Chen's mind was full of studying, making money, and letting his grandfather live a good life. He didn't think about these things at all.
Moreover, I was too young, and when I heard these words suddenly, I tried to look serious and refute my grandfather, but my face turned red.
Grandpa didn't say anything else. He touched Xing Chen's head, smiled kindly, and pulled him home.
Xing Chen put growing taller behind studying hard.
Due to his family's special circumstances, his tuition fee is lower than that of other students, but he knows his grandfather's situation better than anyone else.
Grandpa is old, so we need to save some money for his medical treatment and not spend it all on him.
Thanks to his incompetent father, his eldest and second uncles took their anger out on him because of his father's behavior.
When he just came back, I said that he should not be kept and should be sent to his mother.
Grandpa and grandma wanted to leave a descendant for their youngest son, so they didn't listen to anyone, but their ability was limited. Raising a child costs money, and they didn't have that much money.
My second uncle gave some money, but my eldest uncle always said that my grandparents were partial to them and rarely went back to see them, so naturally he never gave them any money.
Later, they said that the money given to the old people would be used for Xing Chen anyway. In order to make his grandparents send him back to his mother, they forced the two old people by not giving them money anymore.
The situation got better after my grandmother passed away.
The two seemed to have come to their senses a little. Although they were unwilling to help the spoiled younger brother raise his son, they could not let the old father and the child starve to death, so they would provide some help from time to time.
Especially at that time, Xing Chen's academic performance was obvious to all, and he was a good student. Even for the sake of face, they had to treat the sensible child well.
Even under such circumstances, Xing Chen and his grandfather still did not have an easy life.
Xing Chen was anxious and anxious to grow up.
He was very worried that he would not be able to give his grandfather a good life, and that he would not be able to catch up.
In order to stop his grandfather from spending money recklessly, he had to show his grandfather by example that there are other ways to grow taller besides drinking milk.
In this way, Xing Chen usually plays basketball with the boys in school besides studying.
He often measured his height and would tell his grandfather when he got home that it had nothing to do with milk, it was simply because time had come.
I don’t know if my grandfather believed it or not, but his face no longer had that worried expression about his height, but always had his usual kind smile.
After entering the third year of junior high school, Xing Chen was as tall as his second uncle, but he was sad to find that his grandfather was getting thinner and thinner.
When relatives see him, they will still give him some verbal advice, mention his parents, and warn him to study hard and repay his grandfather for raising him.
When Xing Chen was a child, he would get angry and cry, but by then he was completely immune to it.
He knew that they could do nothing but say those words, but there were many things he could do.
He didn't have to argue with them.
He just needs to bring himself and his grandfather to the future he idealizes.
But Xing Chen didn't do it.
Grandpa didn't wait either.
At the most critical moment of the third year of junior high school, my grandfather died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage.
It was so hasty that Xing Chen was stunned and completely unprepared.
When he called his eldest and second uncles' families back and everyone gathered together to discuss his grandfather's funeral arrangements, Xing Chen realized that he would be alone from now on.
Everyone else has a home, but after he lost his grandfather, he had nothing.
In the eyes of others, Xing Chen is still a child and has no say.
I don’t know if it was because no one shared his grief, or if it was because no one else had time to grieve, but they decided everything quickly.
Except for Xing Chen's destination.
When they talked about Xing Chen, they found an excuse to kick him out.
When I talked to him again later, I told him that he was no longer a child and he needed to understand a lot of things.
For example, his grandparents have done their best to raise him for so many years, but there has been no news from his father for many years, and it seems that he has no intention of coming back.
He also said that he knew that the family conditions had always been poor, but now that he was grown up and had hands and feet, he would never starve to death as long as he was willing to work.
In short—
"You'll have to figure it out on your own."
"You're already in your third year of high school, right? Oh? Oh, third year of middle school. It doesn't matter. It doesn't make much of a difference anyway. I can just finish this semester, get my diploma, and then go out and look for a job."
"Don't always look so reluctant. Studying isn't the way out for everyone. Look at your three cousins. They work part-time and send money home every year. We don't expect you to bring money back. You just need to support yourself."
…
Everything happened so fast, and Xing Chen already knew that in this "home", he didn't need to talk to anyone except his grandfather.
Now that his grandfather was gone, he didn't need to speak anymore.
But he still knew what he had to do.
He had to study, to survive, to go out, and never come back.
...But grandpa was left here forever. No matter where he goes or how far he goes, he must come back, otherwise grandpa will be very lonely.
When others saw that he didn't say anything, they wondered if the child was scared silly.
Soon, everyone else was busy and no one had time to care about him.
Xing Chen was dumbfounded, but apart from the grief, he suddenly understood a lot of things with keen ears and eyes.
He didn't want to think the worst of people, but he also felt it deeply. After his grandmother passed away, his uncles' attitudes changed because they realized that people will die when they get old.
When people die, they no longer need a house.
That's right, he heard his eldest uncle and second uncle discussing how to divide the house.
They mentioned him, and the second uncle said that he was just a child after all. What if they cruelly sent him away and he really died outside?
"His parents don't care about him, and you want to? Do you have the spare money?"
This sentence made the second uncle shut up.
Xing Chen heard it, but didn't feel sad.
He just couldn't understand why his uncles' families weren't well off, but they were still a family.
Why? Why did he come to this world and have nothing?
The oldest cousin came back with her husband who looked like a potato and called Xing Chen aside to talk to him.
"I know your mother and have her contact information."
His cousin gave him a note, and Xing Chen found that his hands were shaking when he took it.
"You're grown up now, and your grandparents are gone. I think there are some things you have the right to know."
Since learning the news of his grandfather's death, Xing Chen has not slept a wink and has been working non-stop for more than 30 hours.
He looked at his cousin with red eyes and asked her in a hoarse voice, "What's the matter?"
My cousin hesitated for a long time, but finally told him the truth.
It turns out that Xing Chen was not abandoned by his mother, but was snatched back by his grandmother.
"Because you are a boy, grandma said you can't call another man dad in the future."
Xing Chen thought that nothing could defeat him, but he didn't expect that something could actually happen.
He learned that his mother was pregnant without knowing it because of a quarrel with his father who had cheated on her, and she had an accidental miscarriage. She was too weak to protect him.
Because I didn't want to make him sad, I didn't tell him anything.
Even though the child was taken away, the mother thought she could get the child back when she got better. Later...
"As far as I know, your mother came to look for you several times at first, but your grandparents called the people in the village to block her and prevent her from seeing you."
Xing Chen seemed to feel his heart bleeding.
So this is what it feels like...
"Grandpa used to be a village cadre..."
"yes."
My cousin seemed reluctant, but she had already said so much, so there was no need to hide the rest.
My grandparents changed their phone numbers to prevent my mother from contacting her, and warned others not to help her contact her.
They blocked all the ways in and out of Xing Chen and confined him in this small village.
"...Later on, she was no longer a member of our family. I realized there was no hope for her, and she rarely contacted me. But I followed her on Weibo, and before I came back, I sent her a private message and asked for her contact information."
Xing Chen didn't know whether he had sneered or not. When he came to his senses, he found that his cousin's expression was a little strange.
He closed his eyes: "You told her that no one wants me now? Didn't she say if she would come over?"
My cousin opened her mouth but failed to speak and swallowed.
"You have to understand her. When you first came, she came a few times, and she might have had some trauma in her heart. And... I have to tell you, she has a new family and a new child. You need to be mentally prepared."
Xing Chen was not surprised to hear this result.
He took a deep breath.
I heard my cousin continue: "Think on the bright side, she still cares about you, otherwise she wouldn't give me her contact information."
Xing Chen looked down at the note in his hand, and the illusion became a straw, a life-saving straw.
He found that his hands had not stopped shaking.
That’s all my cousin had to say. She said everything she could.
Go find his mother, go find the person who brought him into this world, and make yourself her responsibility.
My cousin thought this was the best place for Xing Chen to go because his mother did not abandon him as others said.
That's true.
If she hadn't started a family, maybe.
After his cousin left, Xing Chen stood under the eaves and thought for a while.
In fact, he didn't know what he was thinking, he just made sure to crumple the note in his hand into a ball and throw it away.
I don’t know where it ended up, but it was a place he would never see again.
It was already dark by then. The women were preparing dinner in the kitchen, while the men were talking on the second floor.
Besides him, there was an old lady with white hair and almost no teeth under the eaves, and a child with dirty hands running around the yard chasing the chickens he and his grandfather raised.
…
Everything here no longer belongs to him.
Grandpa's coffin is still in the lobby.
Xing Chen walked in, knelt down, kowtowed three times, then stood up and left.
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