040
He had a hunch that this was not a good thing.
He asked with a bad look on his face, "What are you laughing at?"
Seeing that he was unhappy, Nan Ke restrained herself a little. She knew how thin-skinned Xing Chen was and she couldn't make excessive jokes with him.
"So someone stopped me from confessing my feelings."
But after trying to hold it back, she couldn't help but smile, "Isn't this normal? I was thinking before, if you don't encounter something like this, if you don't have many suitors at school, then that would be abnormal."
Nan Ke came up to him curiously and asked, "How is it? Is that girl pretty?"
The little joy that Xing Chen had in his heart today had already disappeared before this. He lowered his head slightly and said, "I don't remember what she looks like."
"How can this be?"
Nan Ke stepped back in surprise: "How disrespectful."
Xing Chen looked over carefully and heard her unpleasant mumbling again: "It seems that she is not very pretty..."
“…”
Xing Chen didn't know what to say. It didn't matter whether the person who confessed to him was pretty or not. That was not the point. But with Nan Ke's mentality of watching the fun, this question became the point.
Nan Ke looked at his reaction and became even more confused.
"Being liked by others should be a happy thing. Why do you... look so angry?"
Nan Ke tilted his head slightly, his imagination running wild: "Oh my God...did that girl take advantage of you while she was confessing her love?"
Speaking of this, her expression became much more serious, and she stared at Xing Chen's face carefully.
Xing Chen closed her eyes and stopped her thoughts from wandering in time.
"No, don't think about it."
Nan Ke wrinkled his nose: "If not, why do you look like someone has taken advantage of you?"
"If I say no, then I mean no."
As soon as Xing Chen finished speaking, he realized that his tone was very bad.
He closed his eyes: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to be against you."
Nan Ke had stopped laughing: "What's going on?"
Xing Chen lowered his head and rolled his eyes: "I just feel annoyed. I have to waste time dealing with this kind of thing..."
He looked up at Nan Ke, thinking now was a good time: "Take you for example, with so many people harassing you, wouldn't you feel annoyed? Dealing with them would disrupt your original plans... and so on."
Nan Ke laughed: "No."
Xing Chen's heart tightened.
He said anxiously: "Yes, our situations are completely different. There are so many people who like you..."
"No, no, no." Nan Ke smiled and waved his hands: "It's not important. Besides, most people only look at appearances. I don't believe that they are sincere. It's just a temporary excitement."
Xing Chen felt relieved when he was sure that Nan Ke didn't think that any of those people truly liked her.
No wonder she didn't respond.
"But I think it's something to be happy about when someone likes you and you like them."
Xing Chen frowned slightly, lowered his brows and looked at her, listening to her speak.
"When someone sees your shining points, has expectations for you, and wants to walk hand in hand with you for a while, it affirms your own value and is something worth being happy about."
Nan Ke said: "At least that's what I think."
"That's not my value, that's the value you give me."
Nan Ke was stunned for a moment and then laughed.
"You can't always think like this. You're good-looking, young, hardworking, good at studying, and extremely self-disciplined. These are all your own values. I just helped a little and gave you the opportunity to show these."
"But without you..."
Nan Ke raised his hand and gently covered Xing Chen's lips. Xing Chen was shocked and didn't dare to move.
But the warmth on his lips quickly disappeared, and Nan Ke said, "I'm right here. Don't always think about the road you haven't walked. Living like that is very tiring."
She said: "I am willing to give, you can take it with peace of mind, go to the world you want to go, that's it, don't think about anything else, understand?"
Except for the time when they first met, Xing Chen had hardly ever seen Nan Ke so serious.
He nodded slightly as if possessed by a mysterious force.
"I see."
Nan Ke suddenly relaxed and returned to his previous state.
"But you're so pretty, didn't you have any admirers in your previous school?"
Xing Chen's cheeks flushed slightly. Nan Ke thought he looked particularly handsome and pleasing to the eye, and smiled unconsciously.
"Ah! By the way, that love letter—you ought to get used to it."
Xing Chen took a deep breath, the soup base came up, and the dishes were placed on the table. Neither of them spoke until the waiter left.
"My classmates don't know the details of my family situation. You packaged me too perfectly. They probably think I come from a well-off family. Even if I'm not a wealthy family, at least..."
Xing Chen scoffed, "I'm getting off topic, but it was different when I lived with Grandpa. The place was small, but the things happened big. My story is there, and everyone knows about it. As you said, some people like me, but they just like my face. When they say they like me, they feel sorry for me because I don't have a complete family and a wealthy family background."
He looked into Nan Ke's eyes, but he couldn't tell what she was thinking just by looking at her expression.
Xing Chen, however, was thinking a lot. He thought, "But you're different. You've seen me at my most destitute and helpless, yet you've been so kind to me. If you say you like me, then naturally, you like me as a person."
Nan Ke smiled, picked up the chopsticks and put the meat into the pot.
She casually said, "You don't look like someone who would be upset by a confession. Anyway, you're still young, and the other person might not be that serious. Since you understand that, there's no need to worry. Don't feel burdened. Just focus on your own things and manage your own pace."
As he spoke, he placed the cooked meat in Xing Chen's bowl and smiled at him, "Eat quickly."
Xing Chen pursed his lips and said thank you to her.
He swallowed the piece of meat. It tasted good, but he still felt empty in his stomach and needed something to fill it.
Maybe it’s not food that’s needed.
That day, Xing Chen finally understood his feelings for Nan Ke.
He felt ashamed of himself and shouldn't have coveted such a perfect sponsor. He also knew very well that he was not worthy of Nan Ke at all, but she was right in front of him, how could he not think about her?
Even the less important memories from the past were forced out by him.
Xing Chen even thought of the boys' clothes in Nan Ke's house on the day he just came back with her.
He thought that Nan Ke must have been in love before and had a boyfriend. They...
How far have they come?
To what extent would one keep the other person's clothes at home?
Although he remembered that the dress was new, when he asked Nan Ke about it, she replied that she had originally intended to give it away but ultimately didn't. This at least proved that there had been a boy in Nan Ke's heart.
What was her expression when she said that? Was it pity? Or was it indifference?
The more he thought about it, the more Xing Chen's heart ached.
The clothes were a little too big for him then, but now... maybe they fit him well, or maybe they are a little tight.
So the person Nan Ke was dating at that time had a similar body shape to him now?
Combining what he had observed about Nan Ke's preferences over the past few days, Xing Chen couldn't help but picture what that person looked like in his mind.
Good looks are a must, but Nan Ke is not someone who is keen on discovering the beauty of the soul.
Precisely because of the nature of her profession, she has very high requirements for beauty.
So that boy...is he better looking than him?
After all, Nan Ke looked at him every day, and there was no other complicated emotions in his eyes. She treated him as naturally as if he were a distant cousin.
Xing Chen thought that if he was more handsome than that boy, Nan Ke would at least feel uneasy occasionally, but unfortunately she didn't.
"What are you thinking about? Why are you always distracted while eating?"
Xing Chen was silent for a moment, put down his chopsticks, and asked Nan Ke.
"When I first came to your house, you gave me a new set of clothes. Remember?"
Nan Ke paused with her chopsticks, she said "Ah" and nodded: "I remember."
Xing Chen asked, "Whose is that?"
It has nothing to do with you. It wasn't prepared for you anyway. Why bring it up now? What are you thinking?
Countless words flashed through Xing Chen's mind, all from Nan Ke's voice.
But in reality, Nan Ke sitting in front of him was very gentle.
"Um...you want to know?"
The little regret that flashed quickly in Nan Ke's eyes did not escape Xing Chen's eyes. He became more and more sad, but he could only perfectly hide his sadness under the calm appearance.
"Well, can you tell me?"
Nan Ke smiled and said, "It's not something I can't say..."
She curled her lips and said, "Are you at the stage of falling in love? You've even started asking about my past relationships."
Xing Chen forced a smile, not wanting to break the seemingly relaxed atmosphere at the moment.
But he really couldn't laugh. That man did have a relationship with Nan Ke. No matter how it ended, it did begin.
Fortunately, Nan Ke was not completely natural when she talked about this matter. She lowered her head to eat while pretending to tell a story casually.
"He was my classmate. We were in the same class in junior high and high school. We had a good relationship and got along well. He... gave people a very comfortable feeling, like a spring breeze, you know?"
Xing Chen did not respond. Nan Ke spoke seriously and looked up at him in between. Xing Chen kept smiling at her. Nan Ke did not notice that he had not eaten.
She seemed completely lost in her memories.
"In junior high, we didn't know anything. People around us always made fun of us. I felt offended and took it out on him, but he didn't mind. In high school, I suddenly thought he was very handsome and had a good personality. Not only that, I discovered that if I had a crush on him, he would most likely like me too. He was always very tolerant of me. Later..."
Nan Ke paused and sighed: "We originally planned to study abroad together."
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