Qingchen was stunned for a moment, staring at her with wide eyes, forgetting that she was still surrounded by his arms.
Xu Silin leaned in close, his head slightly lowered, his face almost touching hers.
She took a breath, pretending not to care about her long hair, and pushed his hand away again, "Xu Silin, you've had too much to drink, let go of me."
Xu Silin didn't speak, only breathing heavily, staring intently at her. His tall body was almost pressed against her, his strong and powerful arms gripping her shoulders, making it almost impossible for her to move.
Under the moonlight, his handsome face with its distinct features was slightly flushed, his thick, straight eyelashes covered his dark eyes, and there was a hint of unruliness and roguishness between his brows and eyes, making him seem a little bad, yet at the same time exuding a special charm.
For a fleeting moment, Qingchen felt as if he had seen right through her. His eyes would soften slightly as they moved from her cheek to her hair.
Qingchen felt uneasy. He removed her hairpin without a word; did that mean he knew her identity? Or had he become suspicious of her again?
She forced herself to calm down and said stoically, "Xu Silin, what's wrong with you? Why are you like this after drinking? Let go of me, and we can talk this out. I thought you had matured these past few days, and I don't want our relationship to regress to the day I fell down the tavern stairs..."
She felt very uncomfortable with him being so close to her, but she had to pretend nothing was wrong and talk to him nicely. Her second uncle was still there, and without knowing whether Xu Yan would retaliate, she had to ask him to take care of her second uncle until he could move again. She couldn't just struggle and run away.
“I can’t go back. How could I possibly go back?” He finally spoke, almost touching her lips, “We’re already closer now, and I don’t want to go back.”
Inside the room, the night was thick, and he spoke as if he were both slightly drunk and remarkably clear-headed.
Qingchen turned his head away, frowned slightly, and said, "Let me go. We're both men, what kind of behavior is this?"
He stared at her expression, neither confirming nor denying. After a moment, he leaned back slightly, but his arms still held her tightly in his embrace. "You just said you had something to tell me. What was it?"
Qingchen breathed a slight sigh of relief. "I... I'm a little worried about Second Uncle. I just wanted to trouble you to tell the servants in the manor that Second Uncle's meals can only be served by the person sent by the Lin family, and not by anyone else." Before Xu Silin returned, she had already instructed the person sent by the Lin family that all meals must be served personally.
"Are you worried that I'll poison your second uncle?"
"No. Of course not." She didn't want to explain to him that what she was worried about was actually his father, Xu Yan, so she could only say, "Second Uncle's health is still weak, and I'm afraid he won't be used to the food prepared by others."
“Okay. I promise you.” He said readily. “I will never let anything happen to your second uncle under my nose. If anything happens to him, you can hold me responsible.”
"Thank you." She paused, then said, "Could you let go of me so I can fix my hair? It's so rude of me to have my hair all over the place like this... Besides, it's getting late, and I want to go home."
She had just asked him to grant her request, and now she was immediately saying she wanted to leave; it seemed rather selfish and heartless. But she felt uncomfortable with him pressing against her like this, and a little uneasy.
“Qingchen,” he said, his voice low, “do you know that you are a beauty? You always tie your hair up, but today you look especially charming with your hair down.”
As soon as she finished speaking, her heart skipped a beat.
Did he really still have doubts about her gender?
“Xu Silin, you smell of perfume. There must have been a girl with you while you were drinking tonight, right?” she said, feigning composure. “You’ve had too much to drink; are you mistaking me for a woman again? But I’m a man. I already told you that when I took off my clothes at the Hanlin Academy that day. You can insult me all you want, but I’m a man…”
Before she could finish speaking, he pursed his lips and smiled slightly. "You know what? Even your lies sound so sweet to me." He slowly moved closer to her, his lips almost touching hers, his voice low and husky, as if threatening her, yet also as if whispering sweet nothings.
She frowned, turned her head away, and said, "I don't know what you're talking about. You've had too much to drink and are hallucinating. If that's the case, there's no need to say anything more today. I'm leaving."
"Still not admitting it?" He stared at her intently. "Then do you dare to take off your clothes again right now in front of me? If you want to take them off today, I will not stop you."
"..."
"You wouldn't dare, would you?" He smiled knowingly. "Because it's just the two of us in this room, and I've been drinking, so I'm feeling hot..."
Hearing this, she became even more uneasy. "Xu Silin, let's talk about this tomorrow. Let me go." She tried to struggle, but he held her shoulders tightly.
“When you hugged my sister last time, she told me. You’re a woman.” He said, looking down into her eyes. “Stop struggling…”
She didn't speak. He had already decided she was a woman, and he figured any further explanation from her would be pointless. Today's events had happened so suddenly; she hadn't been prepared at all. Qingchen's mind raced, trying to think of a solution.
"Are you thinking now that I already know, how can you prevent me from telling anyone, what conditions should you offer in exchange, or how can you threaten me?" he said calmly, his tone nonchalant. "None of that is necessary. You don't even need to threaten me."
"Because I love you. I don't want anything to happen to you even more than you do."
He followed her closely and continued, "You're so smart, I don't believe you can't sense my feelings for you. You definitely know that I like you, I've liked you for a long time."
Qingchen kept turning her head away, refusing to look at him, but her mind couldn't help but drift back to everything he had done for her. He had stormed the city gates for her, jumped into the river for her, injured his hand with firecrackers for her, and rescued her second uncle... In the silent passage of time, she seemed to owe him more and more without realizing it.
She couldn't lie to herself about what he had done for her; it went beyond the friendship of classmates. She couldn't lie to herself about how much they had been through together; it far exceeded what ordinary classmates would experience, even... more than what she and Song Yue had gone through together.
With a soft sigh, Qingchen finally looked at him and said, "Can we stop like this? Can we sit down and talk this out?"
"No," he said firmly.
What exactly do you want?
He said earnestly, “In all my life, I have never liked anyone this much. Today at the banquet, I threw my chopsticks at the mouth of the son of the Left Vice Minister of the Ministry of Personnel, just because he had designs on you. But he and I have been childhood playmates. As for that courtesan you smelled her perfume on, I gave her my purse and told her to stay away from me.”
"Actually, many women like me, but I don't pay attention to any of them. Although I go to those brothels, I'm really not a casual person... I don't want to do anything deliberately. I just know that I like you, and I can't see anyone else. Lin Mo also said that I've changed."
Perhaps the effects of the alcohol were slowly taking hold; as he spoke, his head began to feel heavy, and his breathing gradually became heavier.
"Do you know that at the beginning, I didn't know what to do or how to face you?"
He could only watch like a fool as she joked and bickered with Gu Shaoheng, rising step by step in her career. Even a chance encounter with her, or being able to exchange a few words with her, would make him happy for days.
"I really like you. I will do everything I can to be good to you."
The pale moonlight shone through the window and spilled onto the floor of the room, like a layer of silver frost.
She didn't know how to respond to his confession. More important things to worry about than dealing with his feelings.
After a moment of silence, Qingchen said, "Xu Silin, can you promise me one thing?"
He nodded. "I'll agree to anything you ask."
"Don't tell your father who I am." If her identity is exposed, Xu Yan will definitely be able to use her to hurt many people.
She currently has no leverage to exchange with Xu Silin; her only chance of success is that he likes her. She must stall for time and think of other solutions.
"I promise you." He thought for a moment and nodded.
He originally wanted to speak directly to his father and ask him to protect her. But his father was, after all, the powerful Grand Secretary, and she was probably a little scared and not mentally prepared.
"Really?"
“Really,” he said, slowly moving closer to her. “I promise you, I can do it.”
"Thank you... Well, I'll be going now."
"Don't go." He still wouldn't let her leave. "Do you know what book I read today?"
She frowned. "I don't know."
"Lin Mo gave it to me. I haven't read it in years. It's the kind of book most men have read." He leaned closer to her, his warm breath brushing against her cheek. "It's about men and women..."
Hearing him say these things, Qingchen's face flushed red. "I don't want to hear this. I'm leaving."
Perhaps the alcohol clouded his judgment, for he continued, "It's nothing, maybe our Teacher Song has seen it too..."
She quickly replied, "He's not like you!"
"That's because you don't understand men..."
"Alright, Xu Silin..."
Before Qingchen could finish speaking, she suddenly felt his face move closer to hers, and his warm lips pressed against hers!
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