Shen Qian's voice wasn't loud, but the words "divorce" were exceptionally clear and heavy.
Lin was stunned. She had been married to him for ten years and had never heard those two words before. She had never imagined they would come from his mouth. Wasn't she the only one qualified to utter those words?
Looking at Shen Qian's cold and aloof expression, she was afraid. In the beautiful memories of their first meeting that she often recalled, he was still that gentle, peaceful, good-tempered, and soft-hearted handsome young man who still made her heart flutter. But in this marriage filled with countless disagreements, arguments, and harsh words, he gradually changed. Today, in front of her, he had finally become a cold, self-destructive person who even dared to mention divorce.
This instilled a deep-seated fear in Lin, a fear that instantly shattered her previously furious heart.
Her eyes widened, and she clung tightly to his arm, trembling all over. "No, what did you say? Shen Qian, what are you saying...?"
"I don't want to argue with you anymore." He tried to pull his arm away from her grasp, but didn't. He stared coldly and unfocusedly at the dim light filtering through the partition. "Repeating the same thing over and over, yelling until you're hoarse, tearing your skin off, it's all meaningless. It will only make Qingchen feel guilty. He's already working so hard, I don't want to add any more burden to his heart."
Lin pressed her face against Shen Qian's arm, her arms wrapped tightly around him, her skin trembling slightly, her ten fingers curled so tightly that her nails turned white. "I don't know what you're saying, I don't understand, I don't understand..."
“You understand,” he said. “You’ve always understood your willfulness, your jealousy, your selfishness. You just can’t control yourself, you’re just used to it, because this is who you are by nature. I originally thought I could tolerate you, but I’ve found that it’s useless.” As a couple, what we fear most is not arguing, but discovering after countless arguments that arguing can no longer solve the problem.
Upon hearing this, tears streamed down Lin's face.
Shen Qian's words were the final straw that broke her defenses, and a feeling of near despair immediately overwhelmed her. Because, he was right.
As she stood there, speechless and in tears, he finally pulled his arm away from her. After a moment's pause, he turned and walked towards the door.
"Stop right there." Madam Lin issued this command with her last bit of self-respect, then her tone softened. "Don't go. Shen Qian, give me another chance. I won't argue anymore, I promise I won't argue anymore... I carried you for ten months and gave birth to Yu-ge'er. I've also helped you and your nephew... I'll exchange these for one more chance."
Lin knew that no matter how resolute he was, he was still a soft-hearted person at heart.
Shen Qian stopped, his hand resting on the door leaf, and remained silent.
Seeing that he seemed to be wavering, Lin stopped crying and said, "Do you think that if you divorce me, you'll only be adding to his burden?"
...
When Shen Qingchen woke up, it was already dusk.
The room was lit, and Shen Qian, wearing a thin cloak, was reading a book by the lamplight at his desk. The orange firelight illuminated half of his profile, revealing his exquisitely sculpted features, making him look like a painting.
Seeing her get out of bed, Shen Qian put down his book and went to the table to pour her a cup of hot tea. "You're awake. Did you sleep well?"
Qingchen took the cup and glanced at the sky outside the window, which was half dark and half light. "I slept very well. I didn't realize I slept for so long; it's already this late." Fortunately, she didn't remember much about what happened after she got drunk, only vaguely recalling that Shen Qian had finally managed to get her into bed. She vaguely heard people talking in her sleep, but she couldn't remember what they said at all.
Shen Qian adjusted the lamp wick. "I noticed you weren't sleeping soundly and you were talking in your sleep. But you only hummed a few times indistinctly, so I couldn't hear you clearly... Qingchen, if you have something on your mind, don't bear it all alone. You've always been someone who doesn't like to confide in others, and your second uncle is afraid you'll bottling it up."
"I'm sorry for making my second uncle worry, but it's nothing serious. I've been having a peaceful time at Hanlin Academy lately, and my teachers and classmates are all doing well, so I have nothing on my mind."
"That's good."
"Second Uncle also drank some wine, didn't he rest for a while?" Judging from his words, he must have stayed in this house watching over her all afternoon.
Shen Qian shook his head. "I'm not tired. The effects of the tea and wine have worn off, and I'm not sleepy at my age. I've had the cook prepare some food. Have dinner before you go back."
"No, Uncle, Father is still waiting for me at home. Besides, I ate a lot for lunch and I'm not hungry yet. I'd better go home first."
He nodded, pulled his cloak tighter around himself, walked to a cabinet, took something out, and handed it to Shen Qingchen. "Take this."
She looked and saw it was five taels of silver. "Second Uncle, what's this?"
Qingchen remembered that last time he told Lin that he would give her four taels of silver a month, Lin clearly did not agree and even said, "This time I will not do as you say." How come she is giving him more now?
"Second Uncle, you don't need to give me so much." She quickly declined, "Second Aunt... I teach Yu-ge'er, it's not tiring at all, and besides, I'm not a very good teacher..."
After a pause, Qingchen said again, "Second Uncle, I'd better not come to teach anymore. I can go out and find some work... I'm afraid it will interfere with Yu-ge's studies."
Qingchen had received so much care from Shen Qian, which always caused him to argue with Madam Lin. Today, at the banquet, Madam Lin refused to drink, and his face became very tense. She thought for a moment that perhaps if she didn't appear at the Lin family's house, they wouldn't argue.
In fact, Qingchen had expressed a similar sentiment before, but Shen Qian had not agreed. He was always gentle with her and willing to listen to her opinions, but on this matter, he had his own insistence.
She understood Shen Qian's thoughts. From his words, she knew that he was middle-aged and had little future to strive for, only the past to look back on. He always said he was old. For many years, his mind had been focused on taking care of and raising her, which had become his spiritual sustenance and had not changed because of Lin Yu's birth.
She could vaguely understand the long and repetitive loneliness that comes with losing one's spiritual support.
Just like when she was in middle school, her father passed away, and her mother worked the night shift every night. Every day when she returned home, she was faced with an empty house, and besides endlessly doing homework, she didn't know what to do. Night after night, this cycle repeated until she was afraid whenever she heard the school bell ring. Because at night, her home was still just her, not knowing what to do.
Shen Qian just kept shaking his head when he heard this.
After a moment of silence, he said to her, "Qingchen, this is money from your second uncle. It has nothing to do with your teaching fees. Yu'er has been a mischievous boy since he was a child. Even when I teach him personally, I have to use a ruler. How much more so for you? You have to attend classes at the Hanlin Academy during the day, review your lessons at night, and take care of your father. How can you find time to look for work? And it's hard to find any good work... Don't think too much about it. Besides your father, I'm your only relative. You've had a hard life since you were a child. Your second uncle doesn't want you to suffer any injustice."
Having already brought it up, Qingchen thought for a moment and then said, "But it's just my father and me at home, and I can't afford to spend that much money. I'll just find some jobs that aren't too time-consuming..."
“Of course it’s enough. You’re a junior scholar, with so many classmates, teachers, and officials you’ll run into all the time. You need some money for socializing. When people invite you to drinks, you have to reciprocate. This probably won’t be enough.”
"Second Uncle..."
"Qingchen." His handsome features were full of determination. "You've always been obedient since you were little, and you'll listen to your second uncle now too. Don't overthink it."
He seemed more sensitive than usual today, and Shen Qingchen felt a pang of sadness in her heart. Not knowing how to speak, she had no choice but to accept the money. "Thank you, Second Uncle."
When Qingchen left, the two passed by the stilted pavilion they had come from.
Xie Huiying was still sitting inside, chatting and enjoying the sunset with her maid, slowly waving a round fan in her hand, exuding the elegance of a noble lady from a prominent family.
Seeing Shen Qian and Qing Chen arrive, she quickly got up and walked towards them, her big eyes beaming as she said with a smile, "Qing Chen, you're sober now. I heard you drank a few cups of wine at lunch and have been sleeping ever since. It seems your alcohol tolerance isn't very good; you're even worse than a woman like me."
Shen Qingchen nodded. "Qingchen's alcohol tolerance is poor, I'm sorry for making you laugh, Aunt."
"Although you can't hold your liquor well, you're very knowledgeable. I heard you're teaching Yu-ge'er to read, I wonder if you could teach me too?" Her voice was very clear, and her eyes were full of expectation. "I'm your little aunt."
Shen Qingchen was somewhat taken aback and glanced at Shen Qian hesitantly. Shen Qian said, "He is studying politics at the Hanlin Academy and can only come once every five days during his rest period. He is already quite busy and overworked. How can he find the time to teach you? Besides, the Marquis's residence already has a clan school. Why go to such lengths to find one?"
“Brother-in-law,” Xie Huiying pouted slightly, somewhat displeased, “Huiying admires Qingchen’s talent and wants to study hard with him, who has passed the imperial examinations twice. The teachers at our family school are all quite old, and the highest-ranking among them is only a Juren (a successful candidate in the provincial examinations), and they are all old-timers. How can they compare to the freshest ones… Since we have this advantage of being close to the source, and it’s in the academic field, wouldn’t it be a pity if we didn’t make good use of it?”
Shen Qian was in a state of turmoil today, so he reprimanded her with a stern face: "Huiying, you are a woman, and a noble lady from a prestigious family. How can you be so disrespectful to your family teacher!"
“Brother-in-law, you and my cousin aren’t strangers. Huiying has always been straightforward and outspoken in front of you. Don’t worry, it won’t take up much of his time. Whenever he comes to teach Yu’er, he can take some time to teach me too. I won’t let him get too tired.” She swayed her body gently and coquettishly. “Please say yes.”
"It's getting late, Qingchen, and you need to go home. Let me discuss this with your cousin first." He didn't want to say anything more today.
Xie Huiying thought he had agreed, and as long as her cousin nodded, she was overjoyed and said, "Thank you, brother-in-law. My cousin will definitely agree to my request." After saying that, she looked at Shen Qingchen and said, "Teacher Qingchen, please take care. I will offer you tea again next time."
"...No, Aunt, Qingchen takes her leave."
The next day, when Shen Qingchen arrived at the Hanlin Academy, she encountered a seventh-rank compiler outside the Hall of Records. The man was named Chen An, and he had been a junior compiler one year earlier than Shen Qingchen, making him her senior.
She had been in the Hanlin Academy for a year and had some contact with the Hanlin officials. Her senior classmates would often invite the newly arrived junior members to banquets and gatherings. She had only been there once, and that's when she met Chen An and exchanged a few words with him.
When Chen An saw Qingchen, he called her over to talk. "A couple of days ago, Lord Song showed us your policy proposals. Your proposals were really well written, especially the one on flood control. However, there were some parts that I didn't quite understand. Do you have some free time after court today? Could you stay and we can discuss it?"
Chen Ansheng had thick eyebrows and large eyes. He spoke rather quickly, but was very kind and easy to get along with. The Hanlin Academy was a prestigious and prestigious place, surrounded by talented scholars, so the academic atmosphere was very strong. From fifth-rank scholars to unranked probationary officials, everyone loved to consult and discuss scholarship with each other. They didn't care much about official rank, but they greatly respected talented people. Therefore, it was common for superiors to consult subordinates.
Therefore, scholars all wanted to enter the Hanlin Academy, not only for career advancement but also for academic reasons. Staying there for three to five years, it would be difficult not to make progress.
Shen Qingchen cupped his hands and said, "I am naturally extremely happy to discuss this with you, sir."
Chen An smiled and said, "Alright, come find me in the back hall after the court session ends."
The Hanlin Academy was full of talented scholars who, in addition to discussing scholarship, also loved to compose poetry.
After saying goodbye to Chen An, Shen Qingchen went into the classroom, where her classmates were laughing and passing around a poem.
She had just sat down when, amidst the scramble among the group, the poem somehow drifted onto her desk. She glanced at it and immediately felt embarrassed, quickly averting her gaze.
The paper contained only four lines of small, cursive script, which turned out to be a erotic poem. It was unclear which "talented scholar" had written it.
Before she could finish reading it, the paper was snatched away again. Just then, a gust of wind blew the paper to the doorway. Sun Siwu happened to come in from the doorway, picked up the paper, and, because of his poor eyesight, asked as he looked at it, "What is this?"
Someone chimed in, "Of course it's a good poem! You should read it aloud so everyone can appreciate it."
Sun Siwu, without suspecting anything, opened his mouth and recited: "A pair of bright moons..."
The room erupted in laughter. Being classmates, Qingchen couldn't bear to see him being teased and couldn't help but speak up, reminding him, "Sun Siwu, stop reading."
He seemed to finally realize something, and looked up at her embarrassedly, "Qingchen, this poem... you wrote it?"
Just then, a tall, slender figure in crimson appeared behind him. A familiar voice followed, "What poem? Recite it for your teacher."
Sun Siwu was startled, as if half of his spine had been ripped out. He stammered, "I...I have seen you, teacher. I dare not recite this poem...This poem is not mine; it was written by Shen Qingchen."
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