Qingchen felt a deep sadness, while Lu Shenyun's heart pounded wildly.
After a long wait, he finally received a pleasant surprise.
Whether it was the extreme emotional rollercoaster or being held in the arms of the woman he loved, it was all a first for him. So he didn't know how to react and just stood there dumbly, motionless.
When Qingchen loosened her grip and was about to leave, he suddenly raised his hand and pulled her into his arms.
Qingchen didn't move, letting him hold her, and after a moment of silence, she said, "I'm sorry, I was rude just now..."
Lu Shenyun shook his head, his strong arms tightening around her slender, cold body.
Saying sorry is pointless. The person he longs for and yearns to embrace is clearly himself. "There's no need for such words..."
He had wanted to do this for a long time, to hold her like this, to carefully protect her heart, to warm her little by little, and to warm himself as well.
Qingchen lowered his eyes and remained silent, like a puppet whose soul had been taken away.
She had experienced too much today; her emotions were numb, and her body was utterly powerless. She should push Lu Shenyun away, but she had no strength.
The two hugged quietly for a while, then Lu Shenyun slowly released her and lowered his head.
He looked at her tenderly, his nose almost touching hers. He held this position for a while before finally kissing her lips.
The moment their lips met, Lu Shenyun felt as if a volcano was erupting in his heart, spewing lava everywhere.
Qingchen paused for a moment in a daze, tilted his head back slightly, and closed his eyes again.
His lips were a little cold; that was the only sensation she could feel.
Lu Shenyun kissed her gently, daring only to touch her lips but not daring to enter her mouth. Yet this simple touch of lips made him feel as if he were on a cloud.
The soaking wet black robe of the Imperial Guard wrapped around his body, but he didn't feel cold at all, because a warm current was coursing through his body, flowing to his limbs and bones, igniting every muscle and bone.
A moment later, he suddenly felt a dampness on his face.
He thought it was rain and didn't pay much attention at first, but the next moment, his kiss suddenly stopped.
That was hot, not rainwater.
It was a tear that slid down her cheek.
Unbeknownst to Lu Shenyun, while he was lost in passion, Qingchen's heart remained calm and undisturbed.
Deep and still.
He looked at her and raised his hand to wipe away her tears. Knowing his fingertips were rough, he didn't dare to use force, only gently touching them. Instead of wiping away the tears, his fingertips became covered with even more.
Seeing her silently shedding tears, he quickly said, "I'm sorry... I... I couldn't control myself."
He was already tongue-tied, and now he was even more at a loss for words, as if he had made a grave mistake, and was filled with regret and remorse.
They had originally agreed to be content with each other and simply stay together, but unexpectedly, he took advantage of her vulnerability when she was at her weakest.
What a despicable person! How utterly despicable!
How did Lu Shenyun become the very thing he hated most?
Finally, Qingchen shook her head, looking at him with tear-filled eyes, "It's not your fault..."
If anyone's to blame, it's only because our deep affections were mismatched; fate is truly capricious.
If there's anyone to blame, it's that even when he was kissing her so gently, Song Yue was still the only person on her mind.
Qingchen gently pushed him away, "I want to change my clothes."
Lu Shenyun lowered his head slightly, his face full of regret. "Okay."
After saying that, he turned and walked out, closing the door behind him.
He stood quietly under the eaves, watching the rain lessen and the raindrops falling intermittently from the roof tiles.
The lanterns under the eaves in the distance glowed faintly, swaying in the wind like a person's wavering and anxious heart.
A moment later, Qingchen pushed open the door and came out, seeing Lu Shenyun's back.
Her tall figure stood straight as always, but she looked somewhat forlorn, her clothes still dripping wet.
"I've changed."
Lu Shenyun immediately turned around and said in a muffled voice, "Then I'm leaving. I'm sorry."
"Have a meal here before you go, it's already this late..." Qingchen called out to him, "I suddenly remembered that I should have some clothes that would suit you. It's just that the material isn't very good, but please don't mind."
He paused for a moment, hesitated slightly, and then shook his head.
He did such a thing, and she was being polite to him; how could he possibly stay and shamelessly persist?
Qingchen offered a few more words of advice, but Lu Shenyun still left.
She stood under the eaves watching his hazy figure in the rain, her chest tight as if she couldn't breathe.
Summer in Beijing is coming to an end, and the autumn wind is rising again.
Life was uneventful, but Qingchen still had a wound in her heart, which seemed to be slowly healing, though very, very slowly.
The sunlight shone gently, the flower shadows swayed softly in the breeze, and the white-soled boots of Ming officials trod through the palace gates with unwavering order. Nothing major was amiss in the court; all was calm and peaceful, as was the inner palace.
It seems that all is well now.
As the Vice Minister of Revenue, Qingchen was still very busy. That day, she spent more than an hour reading through the official documents on the implementation of grain administration in various provinces. Just as she was rubbing her eyes, feeling a little tired, someone called out from outside the door. She looked up and saw Zhao Qiran.
Before entering the house, Zhao Qiran glanced left and right to make sure he didn't run into anyone before going inside.
Song Yue forbade him to have any contact with Qingchen, and he had no choice but to obey. Since the welcoming banquet that day, he had not contacted Qingchen again. It was only because he received a message early this morning that he rushed over.
Anyway, as long as Song Yue doesn't find out, one or two times shouldn't matter, right? After all, they're colleagues; how could they have absolutely no contact?
When Qingchen saw Zhao Qiran, she immediately thought of that person, and felt a slight pang in her heart. No matter how much she forced herself to be strong, anyone or anything related to him could easily break through her defenses.
After calming herself down, she welcomed Zhao Qiran into the house and said, "Lord Zhao has arrived."
Zhao Qiran, panting heavily, brushed the yellowed leaves off his shoulder, his face beaming with uncontrollable joy. "Lord Shen, I have brought you good news."
"Good news?" Qingchen was taken aback.
Zhao Qiran nodded vigorously, "Lan Tan is back! And he brought someone with him."
As the sun set, Qingchen's heart began to beat faster.
“It’s your classmate and good friend, Gu Shaoheng!” Zhao Qiran said. “Gu Shaoheng made a contribution in Kaipingwei and no longer needs to guard the border! He came back last night.”
Unbeknownst to Zhao Qiran, in that instant, his face became incredibly pleasing to the eye in Qingchen's eyes.
This was truly the best news she had heard since returning to Beijing.
As duty ended, the autumn wind rose again, scattering the sycamore leaves from the courtyard. Qingchen's steps were unusually light; she was in a hurry to see Gu Shaoheng!
According to Zhao Qiran, Lan Tan has moved into his residence, while Gu Shaoheng has returned home.
After the Gu family's property was confiscated, the men were all punished by being sent to the frontier, while the women were demoted to commoners. Now, the women of the Gu family all live in an ordinary two-courtyard house.
When Qingchen stepped into the small courtyard, just past the screen wall, he saw a person in the courtyard, using a wooden ladle to scoop water to water the soapberry plants in the corner of the wall.
He was dressed in plain, coarse cloth clothes and looked somewhat thin. Every gesture he made was one she knew all too well.
"...Shaoheng".
Qingchen called out behind him, and he paused slightly before turning around.
Standing about seven or eight steps apart, Gu Shaoheng and Qingchen gazed at each other. Emotions surged within them; after two years apart, they had finally met again, and both were too excited to speak.
The border sun had tanned him a bit, and the border winds and sand had roughened his face. Those familiar eyes, slowly, little by little, welled up with tears. Fortunately, he looked alright, with only a hint of fatigue from the long journey.
"You're back." Qingchen parted his lips slightly before finally saying this.
Gu Shaoheng looked at her, grinned, and showed off his white teeth. "You're back."
In an instant, Qingchen felt as if he had returned to the time when he lived in the Hanlin Academy.
Back then, they were young and carefree. He was so handsome and energetic, so spirited, with endless dreams and boundless energy.
When she was injured, he bandaged her finger; when she was wronged, he stood up for her. He buried bamboo slips with her on the Double Ninth Festival, making wishes; he went drinking with her on Qipan Street, buying two sesame cakes and slipping them into her sleeve. When she tumbled down the stairs of the tavern, he was the first to pick her up and take her to the clinic…
Time flies, but the scenes of the past are still vivid in my mind.
Unfortunately, overnight, he suffered a tragic turn of events, becoming a prisoner and a victim of political struggle.
Seeing him today, she felt that he seemed unchanged, yet also changed.
Gu Shaoheng put down the wooden ladle in his hand and walked over with a smile: "So I see you again. Just finished your shift? You're here quite early today."
Qingchen's eyes welled up with tears, and she raised her hand to wipe them away. "I rushed over to see you."
Later, they sat on the veranda and reminisced.
Gu Shaoheng described his life on the border, and Shen Qingchen listened quietly. In his description, she could almost see those days of scorching sun and wind and rain, with him wearing handcuffs and shackles, carrying grain and timber stakes, and pulling carts and supplies.
All of these scenarios are too painful to contemplate.
Gu Shaoheng smiled at Qingchen, "I heard from General Lan that you've risen very quickly and are now a third-rank official, the Vice Minister of the Ministry of Revenue. People in the garrison occasionally talk about matters of the court, and the one they talk about most is you."
"Hmm..." Qingchen nodded, wanting to say more, but unsure how to respond to this question.
The emperor treated her very well, but felt deeply indebted to him. He was falsely accused, and the emperor, based solely on suspicion, cut off his family's path to survival. One can imagine how much hatred he harbored.
Every time others talked about her promotion, he, as her classmate, felt hurt, even though he spoke of it so casually.
Seeing her silence, Gu Shaoheng changed the subject, "I heard you just came back from Yunnan. Yunnan is so far away, I've never been there. Is it very tough there?"
Qingchen briefly recounted her experience, and he sighed softly after listening, "Fortunately, the White Lotus Sect didn't harm you. The journey was so arduous; it would be better to stay in the capital for peace and quiet."
Qingchen understood that he meant that the official position he had worked so hard for was ultimately fleeting, something that could be lost in an instant.
If even a century-old family is like this, how much more so would she, who came from humble beginnings?
After a moment of silence, he asked again, "How is Teacher Song? General Lan has been very kind to us, and I know it's because of Teacher Song. He helped me put on my cap during my coming-of-age ceremony, and he came to see me with you on the day the house was searched. He's truly the best teacher I could be. I often think that I'm fortunate to have met both of you in my life. How have you been getting along with your teacher while I was away?"
"Okay...that's good." Qingchen smiled awkwardly, unwilling to mention that person again, and changed the subject, "Let's go get something to eat. The noodle shop on Qipan Street is still open, and the sesame seed cake stall is still there too."
Gu Shaoheng nodded, then remembered something, went inside, and came out with something in his hand. "Qingchen, look, I carved this for you when I was at the border."
It turned out to be a small wooden figure, a portrait of Qingchen.
Qingchen held it and examined it closely; it did resemble it to some extent.
He could still do such a meticulous job even while handcuffed.
Qingchen felt a pang of sadness, carefully tucked it into her sleeve, and smiled, "The most precious gift, I will definitely keep it safe. Let's go, I'm starving."
Gu Shaoheng nodded sharply, "Let's go!"
While eating noodles, they talked a lot, but there was one topic that Gu Shaoheng didn't mention and Qingchen didn't ask about.
Gu Shaoheng was once a scion of a prominent family, a young man in a white horse and blue robe, enjoying immense wealth and studying the classics. He then followed the path most envied by the world, passed the imperial examination, and entered officialdom.
But now that he's a criminal, he can no longer hold office, and his future livelihood is in question. The Gu family still has so many women to support, and he still needs to marry and have children. Things he never worried about before have now become his biggest worries.
Qingchen hasn't come up with a solution yet.
Qingchen didn't return home until nightfall.
She had a little wine and was a bit drunk.
Before she entered the house, a gatekeeper came to tell her that Lord Lu had come looking for her and had left her some things.
Upon hearing the name, Qingchen was slightly taken aback. Since their parting in the rain that day, Lu Shenyun had not come to see her. What was the reason for his visit this time?
By candlelight, she opened the letter he had left behind.
The few lines are concise and to the point, and it's clear that the writer carefully considered the tone of his words.
It turned out that when Lu Shenyun learned that Gu Shaoheng had returned, he guessed that she would be worried about his future, so he had already come up with a way out for him.
The Lu family was a family of Imperial Guards for generations, and a prominent family in the capital. Although the family mainly practiced martial arts, with so many children, not all of them could become Imperial Guards. Moreover, a prominent family also needed to cultivate a scholarly atmosphere, so many of their children chose to study and enter officialdom.
Therefore, the Lu family had a clan school. This clan school was quite good; a scholar had passed the imperial examination a couple of years ago. The letter left by Lu Shenyun was actually an employment contract, inviting Gu Shaoheng to teach at the Lu family clan school.
The reason he hesitated when writing was because he was unsure whether to simply provide financial assistance. After all, Gu Shaoheng was once a prince, and there would always be a sense of loss in him if he had to lower himself to teach.
But he also knew that scholars like Qingchen and Gu Shaoheng would probably not accept financial aid for no reason, so it was better to be more tactful.
After reading the letter, Qingchen felt a slight soreness in the tip of her nose.
She could clearly see through Lu Shenyun's meticulous thoughts in the letter.
These days, Lu Shenyun would occasionally go to the Ministry of Revenue to see Qingchen.
Since Gu Shaoheng became a teacher at the Lu family academy, he has been seeing Qingchen more often.
As for that kiss, no one mentioned it again, but somehow, their hearts seemed to have drawn closer together.
Gu Shaoheng did a fairly good job as a teacher. After all, he passed the imperial examination on his own merit and had served as a probationary official in the Hanlin Academy, so he was more than qualified to be a teacher at a clan school.
He wasn't picky about the job and did it with great enthusiasm. He was well aware of his situation, so he was content with the status quo and grateful to Lu Shenyun and Qingchen.
Qingchen was happy for him too. He was back, and she finally had him as a friend again, which made her feel at ease. Unfortunately, she was usually too busy and rarely had the chance to see Gu Shaoheng.
Fortunately, Lu Shenyun willingly became a messenger, frequently relaying Gu Shaoheng's recent situation.
That day, Lu Shenyun came out of the palace and Qingchen came out of the Ministry of Revenue. The two happened to meet again on the Thousand Steps Corridor and stood there talking for a while.
At the other end of the Thousand Steps Corridor, two more people walked over.
It was Song Yue and Zhao Qiran.
The two were discussing the poor harvest in Shandong this summer, and Song Yue wanted Zhao Qiran to go to Shandong. At this moment, Lu Shenyun and Shen Qingchen, who were standing by the palace wall, came into their view.
"...Why are they together?" Zhao Qiran looked on, puzzled. "Was Lu Shenyun smiling? I don't think I've ever seen him smile before."
Song Yue blinked slightly and continued walking. "Let's go."
Zhao Qiran remained curious, watching intently. "What do you think they're saying that makes them laugh like that? Qingchen is laughing too."
Song Yue didn't say anything. Zhao Qiran walked away while looking back. "I'm done talking. I'm leaving... Oh, I almost fell. Luckily, Lu Shenyun caught me... Hey, look!"
"There's nothing to see."
There was a hint of melancholy in his tone that others couldn't detect.
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