After leaving "Bad Monkey Bar", I chased them to Yeyu Road. But there were so many alleys there. Once Yang Sisi and that young man disappeared into one of the alleys, I would have no chance of finding them. Moreover, there were hundreds of inns along this short road, so it was impossible for me to ask them one by one.
I sat down in front of a shop that was already closed, and then dialed Yang Sisi's number again, but her phone was already switched off. This made me feel that my judgment of the situation was more accurate.
To be honest, her behavior really made me feel powerless. I couldn't interfere too much in her private life. I felt I had done my best because everything she did seemed voluntary, while I had no legitimate reason to interfere.
I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, then took out my phone from my pocket. There was an unread message from Dai Qiang. He was extremely excited because he had learned from Ye Zhi that he had been accepted by the hotel, and just as he had predicted, the hotel had arranged accommodation for him. Although it wasn't a single room, it was in a very prosperous area of Shanghai, a privilege that many people who had just arrived in Shanghai to make a living would never enjoy.
I can't really share in his joy because I know what he'll face in the future. When he's worried about a house one day, he'll look back on today's joy and find it naive and ridiculous... And Shanghai has never been a simple city for us outsiders. There is no absolute joy here, but there is enough confusion and sadness.
All I could do was encourage him: Keep going, keep going, keep going!
...
When he had smoked half a cigarette, the street singer across the street finally finished singing "Go to Dali," a song that was very popular in Dali. He took out an old cup, took a sip of water, and then flipped through the lyric book. The familiar melody then came from his guitar strings.
Yes, it's that song, "Goodbye 20th Century"...
This is a very obscure song, so this is the first time I've heard someone sing it in Dali.
I listened intently, and then I recalled some of my feelings that day. My cigarette had burned my hand, but I didn't feel much pain. When I heard the line, "There's still a little time to reminisce, a little time to cry," I lost control of my emotions. This emotional trigger made my tears secretly fall.
Although I don't think of Wang Lei very often anymore, every time I do, it's heartbreaking. Right now, I really want to hold her hand tightly, but all I can see is her smile appearing in my mind... She is a woman without a home, but she hopes to become a man's wife and have children for him, so that she will have a home again.
I can't remember the exact words, but that's the gist of it...
...
Just as I was lost in this sadness, I felt a sudden pat on the back. I looked up and saw Yang Sisi holding a steaming drink, looking down at me...
I quickly wiped away my tears, thinking that with all the smoke from that drink, she probably didn't see what was happening on my face. In my heart, these things, these feelings, shouldn't be something Yang Sisi could perceive. She was from a completely different world, incapable of understanding the pain of another.
"Oh, oh, oh... Are you crying?"
"You're blind."
"Why are you so angry? ... Crying isn't anything shameful. I cry several times a day!"
"I didn't cry... It's windy here."
Yang Sisi seemed particularly interested in this matter. She sat down next to me and pointed at my face, saying, "I'm the most experienced person when it comes to crying. You definitely didn't get this from the wind."
"I feel like crying when I see you, okay?"
Am I that much to your heartache?
I glanced at her, then abruptly changed the subject, asking, "Didn't you leave with a handsome young man? Why are you back?"
"Nothing is more interesting than watching you cry..." She paused for a moment, then nudged my shoulder and asked, "Hey, why are you crying?"
"Go find your handsome young man."
Yang Sisi completely ignored her and said with a half-smile, "...How about you cry for another two yuan? I haven't seen enough yet!"
"Don't go too far... My patience has its limits."
"I may have gone too far, but what can you do about it?"
When she wasn't looking, I smacked her hand at the drink in her hand, spilling it all over the floor. That wasn't enough; I then grinned at her, trying to show her my animalistic side.
Yang Sisi burst into tears on cue. Just when I thought she was going to get revenge on me, she grabbed my clothes and said, "You made me cry so that someone would cry with you, right? ...You succeeded. Come on, let's cry together."
"Stop messing around... Tell me about your business first. What were you doing with that young man just now?"
Do I need to tell you?
“I’m worried about you… those young people who go to bars all the time are no good.”
"I just enjoy hanging out with them."
"Girls should respect themselves."
"I just like to give up on myself."
I looked at her, and she stared back at me defiantly. I finally shook my head and replied, "I hope you won't regret saying these things to me later... Yes, I came to the ancient city to find you because I was worried you might be hanging out with some shady people. But if you don't care, just pretend I was never here."
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