Back at my place, I poured myself a glass of water. There was a mirror next to my desk, and as I drank, I saw a reflection of myself that was sometimes clear-headed and sometimes dazed.
The reason I felt clear-headed was because I had just clearly persuaded the guy by Erhai Lake; and the feeling of being in a daze was not fake either, I was thinking: why do the same words used to persuade others not work when applied to myself?
Actually, compared to that man, I seem to need to focus more on my career, and I really can't afford to be sentimental at this stage.
After a moment of this daze, I remembered that I still hadn't replied to two messages from Yang Sisi and Ye Zhi.
I replied to Yang Sisi: "There were too many comments on that photo. I didn't post it for people to comment on, so I turned off my Moments."
I replied to Ye Zhi with the same message.
Yang Sisi sent me a message first: "Is the person in the photo the one who was just standing by Erhai Lake? I saw you went to chat with him."
"Um."
"What's wrong with him?"
"I was betrayed by my girlfriend..."
"That's just like you... no wonder you two could chat for so long!"
“We’re not the same. His girlfriend was forced into it, while my girlfriend gave up willingly.”
"So, you're even worse off than him?!"
"Theoretically, I'm worse off, but I'm someone who doesn't want to think of myself as being too miserable... because for us, living itself is a form of spiritual practice."
"Your level of understanding is truly high!"
"That's called being good at self-deception... You can learn a thing or two."
"I don't need to learn, I don't have that many painful things to do."
I lit a cigarette, then found the most comfortable position to recline on the sofa. I didn't plan to reply to Yang Sisi's messages anymore, because I knew I understood what she was saying, but she might not understand what I wanted to say. She's still too young, so the pain she feels and the suffering I'm enduring are completely on parallel lines that will never intersect... But undeniably, the happiness she brings me is real, so I'd rather share happiness with her than pain!
...
Just as I was finishing my cigarette, Ye Zhi replied to my message, asking, "This isn't an artistic photo; the person in the photo is someone you actually met, right?"
"Yes, I just talked to him for a while... His pain is all too real for people like us!"
"What's wrong with him?"
"His girlfriend's father got a very serious illness. He was a tough guy and used all the money he could to treat the illness, but it was still far from enough. He started borrowing from relatives and friends and finally raised 100,000 yuan. But his girlfriend didn't accept the money. She accepted another man who had been pursuing her and was also very wealthy. This man gave her 200,000 yuan. Later, her father was discharged from the hospital, and she married this man... This guy was heartbroken and came to Dali alone."
Ye Zhi replied a moment later: "It must be quite painful for this man..."
"Can you understand what this woman did?"
“I understand… but she lost the man who was the best to her for the rest of his life, and that’s something that money can’t buy… I think that’s a difficult situation that two people can overcome together.”
"The reason you say that is because you don't understand how deprivation of money can be so devastating to ordinary people. They have already done their best, so I just advised that man not to feel any regret."
Ye Zhi replied firmly, "If I were that woman, I would definitely choose to persist."
I suddenly felt a strong urge to challenge Ye Zhi, so I replied, "Have you considered what this persistence will ultimately bring? I'm pretty sure the 100,000 yuan this man borrowed later wasn't enough for medical treatment, and that 100,000 yuan was probably the limit he could borrow... Yes, they can both choose to persist, but can the woman's father's condition be sustained?... Actually, you should know that for vulnerable groups, having such a choice is already a very fortunate thing, because for most unfortunate women, they simply don't have a suitor with such good financial conditions in their lives. When they encounter similar situations, they have no choice; they can only watch in despair as their loved ones disappear from their world because they can't afford medical treatment... So, for both that man and that woman, this is already a good outcome!"
After a long, long time, Ye Zhi finally replied, "To be rational, that's true... but I still hope that such tragedies won't occur too often in this world."
"That's what I hope for too... but similar tragedies will definitely happen again..."
Ye Zhi didn't reply to my messages anymore, and I was indeed very sleepy, so I fell asleep on the sofa after a while.
...
The next morning, I was awakened by the sunlight. I must have caught a chill from the cold wind that had blown me for so long the night before. My throat felt dry and sore. I poured myself a glass of water and drank it while standing at the window looking towards Erhai Lake... but the man was no longer there.
I feel sorry for him because I don't know if he stayed by Erhai Lake to see the sunrise, and I don't know if he will work hard after he goes back. From the bottom of my heart, I really want to help this painful and confused man.
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