So, in this cold winter, I didn't do anything wrong by letting her come to Erhai Lake to let herself go.
...
We each swam several hundred meters before returning to shore. We wiped the water off our faces together, then panted for breath, and smiled at each other...
After regaining some of my strength, I said to her with admiration, "I never expected you to be such a good swimmer!"
“I’ve always had the habit of swimming… but this is my first time winter swimming in an open lake like this.”
"Doesn't it feel refreshing?"
Ye Zhi closed her eyes, let out a soft breath, and replied, "I feel much better... Would you call this a complete refresh?"
"Yes, it definitely counts... Remember this feeling right now, it will at least make you feel better for several days."
Ye Zhi looked at me, and then asked, "What kind of pain are you experiencing that requires you to vent it in such an extreme way?"
I stared blankly at the clothes on the shore for a moment before saying to her, "Strictly speaking, it's not exactly pain, it's just that I'm very dissatisfied with myself and that's why I feel frustrated."
"I'm sorry, although I never intended to infringe on your interests, objectively speaking, it is indeed our group's project that has made it impossible for your inn to continue operating..."
I interrupted her and laughed, “My sense of defeat has little to do with whether this inn can stay open or not. What really disappoints me is all the experiences I’ve had over the years. I feel that at my age, I should have accomplished something significant in my life, but looking back, I’m not even as good as I was in college… Back then, at least I had dreams. Now I don’t even want to think about the word ‘dream’ anymore, because the more I think about it, the more useless I feel.”
"Isn't a dream called a dream precisely because it's unattainable?"
"Do you still have dreams?... Or have all your dreams already come true?"
Ye Zhi shook her head and replied, "Compared to you, I'm probably further away from my dream... Do you believe it? When I was in college, I really hoped to become a primary school teacher. I loved being with those innocent children. But after I graduated, I was left on the other side of society, dealing with the worst people..."
"Yes... I've always believed that the more wealth one accumulates and the higher one's social standing, the dirtier one's social circle becomes. It's just that they romanticize it so that we ordinary people can't see it."
Ye Zhi didn't speak; she seemed to be lost in thought.
After a moment, she looked at me again, but changed the subject, asking, "Does your injury still hurt?"
"It's alright."
Ye Zhi looked at me with suspicion.
I replied nonchalantly, "Don't look at me like that, I'm really fine!"
Why didn't you tell me then?
"They've already been beaten up, what else is there to say?"
“I can’t let you suffer for nothing. I will get an explanation from the local police station.”
"Forget it... those guys are really cunning. They didn't even choose a place with surveillance cameras to beat me up. You can't just pick anyone off the street and call them the murderer... Besides, I don't want to go back to that place to cooperate with the investigation. I really don't have the time for that."
"But I'm so afraid of feeling guilty towards you... I don't know how to describe it, but it really hurts!"
I smiled and replied, "That's easy. You swim with me for another lap and make me happy, then we'll be even."
As he said this, Coach Ma, who had just left, returned, with Bai Lu walking beside him. Because of the distance, I couldn't see their expressions, but I knew they must have come to say goodbye to us...
I sighed heavily, as if I could see two more leaves falling from an already withered tree... and the inn was that tree. Although we were still hanging on it, one day we too would fall...
I hope a breeze will blow me to a comfortable place, so I won't have to wander around like Coach Ma and Bai Lu.
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