Under the dim light, Ye Zhi and I just stared at each other. I took her silence as a sign of difficulty, and my mood couldn't help but sink a little. But I still forced a smile and said to her, "It's okay. I was just making a suggestion. If it's inconvenient, I won't force you... Let's not let this ruin the good atmosphere of the upcoming New Year. Let's drink and laugh as we please."
Ye Zhi rested her chin on her hand and said to me, "Put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if I asked you to come with me to meet my family right now?"
I imagined this scenario in my mind, and I immediately felt very uneasy and flustered. I felt that I couldn't handle a situation with a bunch of parents and elders, especially their chatter. Just thinking about it was terrifying.
I finally said to Ye Zhi, "This is something we have to grit our teeth and do... First of all, there is a generation gap between the two generations, and the topics we can talk about are limited to just a few, and they are all embarrassing and difficult to deal with."
"Well, it's not that I'm inconvenient, it's just that I don't know how to handle it... especially since your family has some misunderstandings about us; if there are too many people, I'm afraid I'll let something slip."
"I understand. You decide this matter... Don't feel guilty. Whether you go or not, I will thank you!"
"I don't know which specific thing you're referring to as a thank you for?"
I picked up the beer can, took a sip, and replied, "It's about us pretending to be a couple... To be honest, if this hadn't put my dad's mind at ease, I definitely wouldn't have been able to stay in Dali... So, I wouldn't have had the chance to set up this temporary inn in Jiulongju..."
At this point, I smiled and continued, "This temporary inn changed my understanding of doing business. When I was working before, I always felt that life should be about seeking stability and winning, so I lacked a bit of adventurous spirit... Now it seems that being bold and meticulous is more suitable for someone who has desires in life and career than seeking stability and winning... This time, I can be considered to have achieved a 'semi-success' in a certain stage, and I really need this kind of success to give myself confidence... Because these past few years have indeed been quite difficult, which has made me a bit hesitant in dealing with people and things."
Ye Zhi listened patiently until she was sure I had finished speaking before replying, "Adventure can indeed make a person more energetic... I remember when I first met you, I would always find a deep side to you, but now you are much more cheerful... At least sometimes you are willing to make some small jokes with me, which is good, it makes us less reserved when we are together."
I asked with a smile, "Do I have a deep side?"
"Yes, your eyes, and you sitting by Erhai Lake smoking."
I was deeply moved, and then I looked up at the starry sky for a long time before saying to Ye Zhi, "I'm tired, so very tired... especially when there's no one I can confide in, that feeling is even stronger!"
Looking down at my clenched fist, I said, "They say a man's hands are for conquering the world, and I don't deny it; that's a very inspiring idea... But look closely, these are just a handful of hands. How much weight can they really bear? Men get tired too. Sometimes they don't say it, they just think they can keep going... But the more you overestimate yourself, the easier it is for people around you to distance themselves, because everyone thinks you can do it."
"I understand that feeling."
I blurted out, "Of course you understand, because you live with even more intensity than some men!"
Ye Zhi remained silent. Like me, she picked up a beer can, took a sip, and then fell into a daze. But I felt more that she was thinking about something or reflecting on her current life.
Finally, she spoke to me, saying, "When you don't have anyone to share your burdens with, this is all you can do." After saying that, she raised her glass to me and said, "Cheers to our loneliness."
I was stunned for a moment, then I drank all the beer in the can with her. I could feel that she had opened her heart to me at that moment, and at least she was no longer maintaining the image of a strong woman. I did the same and told her about my tiredness and bitterness.
Perhaps I should have embraced her at that moment, but in the end I didn't reach out my hands to her... because there is actually an insurmountable gap between wanting to do something and actually doing it, and I lacked a big enough stepping stone.
I finally spoke, with the intention of comforting her, saying, "Actually, you've changed a lot compared to before... You make me feel that you're also someone who can joke around, and I even feel that we can do a lot of silly but interesting things together... Just like the marguerite we picked up by the roadside last time, it's blooming so brightly now, and you will be the same, it just takes a little time to break free from the mental constraints you used to have."
"mutual encouragement."
I nodded, and then we fell silent again. I thought about many trivial things, and then I remembered: Ye Zhi still hadn't really said whether she wanted to visit the small town with me. But I had already agreed not to pressure her, so I couldn't press her any further!
...
After dinner, we went to the old town together. As we had agreed beforehand, I first took her to the bar where Nicole sings. We drank beer again, but this time we heard Nicole's singing.
After drinking half a bottle of beer, Ye Zhi took the initiative to ask me, "What are you planning to do after the temporary inn at Jiulongju closes down?"
“Now there are two options: one is to continue investing in business; the other is…” I paused for a moment and then continued, “Cao Jinbo approached me and asked me to help him manage several bars and inns in the ancient city, as well as the seaside inn in Shuanglang.”
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