"So, can I take that you fled from Shanghai to Dali?"
"It's not about escaping, it's about having to leave... because I have nothing left in Shanghai..."
At this point, a wave of humiliation washed over me again. In Shanghai, I lived such a humble and undignified life. I whispered to Lu Jia, "You have the right to laugh at me... because a month before I left Shanghai, I was still dreaming of buying a one-bedroom apartment."
Lu Jia looked at me with a complicated expression. I picked up the beer bottle and drank half of it in one gulp.
"And in Dali, what kind of feeling did you get from this city?"
I let out a sigh of relief, then lit a cigarette for myself. I said to Lu Jia, "See this cigarette in my hand? If the first half is Shanghai, then the second half is Dali... They look the same, but the second half is closer to the filter, and closer to my heart... Although the tar on them is harmful, seeing the second half of the cigarette gives me more confidence, because I can see when this harm will end, whereas with the first half, I can only endure it."
"You seem to really hate Shanghai!"
“You’re wrong. What I hate isn’t Shanghai, but the feeling of helplessness and loss of control… Dali is different. Although I’ve also encountered many setbacks, there’s a kind of inner strength that keeps me from giving up… So, when faced with difficulties, I’m willing to actively think of solutions and broaden my horizons. Once you broaden your horizons, you won’t close them again. This has given me a lot of confidence and made me believe that I will get better and better.”
"Hehe, is Dali really as magical as you say?"
"You're wrong again. The magic isn't in Dali... it's in my own state. Here, I have nothing left to lose, so I dare to take a gamble... In Shanghai, I had too many concerns. Back then, I did consider leaving the company and trying my luck on my own... But when I thought about the consequences of failure, I backed down... I was afraid I wouldn't be able to afford a house. What's more terrifying than a house is your despair... How could I let you despair?!"
Lu Jia fell silent. After a long while, she simply picked up her glass, took a sip, and didn't say anything more... But I felt a sense of relief, because the words I didn't have a chance to say when we broke up were finally spoken by me.
I'm not trying to shift the blame onto Lu Jia; I'm simply expressing my feelings. Therefore, I've never resented Lu Jia in this regard… I want to use my experience to warn other men who haven't yet: before achieving sufficient success, it's best not to get involved in love. For most men without a background or resources, love isn't a stimulant on the road to success. It will quickly sober you up in an instant, making you realize that without any advantages, you're carrying the future of two people on your shoulders. The more you love this woman, the greater the pressure will be, until it completely crushes you… Or, there might be one or two lucky individuals who can achieve success in both career and love, but this is an extremely rare occurrence.
...
I picked up the beer bottle and downed the rest in one gulp. Exhausted, I slumped onto the sofa, and then Lu Jia blurred from my sight. I began to savor the tumultuous night, and inexplicably thought of Ye Zhi again…
I asked myself: Did Lu Jia's arrival really put us in a romantic relationship?
I'm certain we just held hands, but what felt more real than holding hands were the words she said... My heart felt warm, just like one evening when I first arrived in Dali, sitting by Erhai Lake, a cool breeze blowing in my face, yet the air still held the warmth of the day.
I feel so good!
...
This continued for a long time until my phone vibrated in my pocket. I had specifically set it so that only WeChat would vibrate. I took my phone out and looked at it. Sure enough, it was a WeChat message, sent by Yang Sisi.
"Michael, who does this clay figure look like?"
Below the information is a photo.
I replied, "Do you think I'm blind? This is clearly a turtle, okay?"
"Haha...don't we look a lot alike?!"
"Can't you stop being so boring?"
"I was just really bored, so I spent a whole class period sculpting this turtle... Oh, no, it's you."
I was speechless, but then another feeling suddenly came to mind. Compared to Lu Jia and Ye Zhi's maturity and competence, Yang Sisi was like a grown-up child. She would occasionally jump into my world, bringing mischief and a colorful world of childlike innocence.
The next moment, she sent another message, saying: "This afternoon, there is a religious event here, which is to encourage people to do good... If the shoes you gave me can represent you, I have decided to wear you on my feet to receive baptism and enlightenment... Because you are the most disgusting and vulgar person I have ever met, I have to rely on the power of religion to save you!"
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