Dali during the day and Dali at night are like two completely different cities, especially around Erhai Lake, where the difference is even more obvious. I prefer Dali at night, which is profound, mysterious, and full of space for contemplation.
I finally calmed down, so I hugged Ye Zhi, who was leaning against me, tighter, and then thought about some things about the future...
I let out a sigh of relief and said softly to her, "Before this, I was also very conflicted, especially when Lu Jia appeared. I was under a lot of pressure..."
Ye Zhi seemed to mind, so she interrupted me, which was rare for her, and said, "I know you can't completely forget her, and neither can she. I can sense that her purpose in coming to Dali is not so simple."
I didn't want to hide anything, so I replied in a low voice, "Yes... she wants to get back together. Although she hasn't said it out loud, there are signs of it."
Ye Zhi remained silent. She moved away from my body and resumed her previous sitting posture. Only then did I realize that the tide had soaked her shoes. It turned out that she had been enduring the dampness and cold all along.
I lit a cigarette and smoked it silently. Although I knew I shouldn't say these things in this situation, keeping them in my heart was always a hidden danger. Besides, I felt that Ye Zhi also had the right to choose. If I chose to keep it from her, it would not only be disrespectful, but it would also not place us on an equal footing.
Equality has become the principle I most want to uphold when it comes to relationships.
She finally spoke and asked me, "Michael, do you want to get back together with her?"
Before answering that question, I want to tell you something else... something very important.
"you say."
I listened absentmindedly to the sound of the tide, and after a long while, I said to her in a low voice, "In the years I've been in Shanghai, besides my girlfriend Lu Jia, I also have a female friend named Wang Lei. We're from the same hometown. I went to Shanghai a month before her. I had a pretty ordinary job, while she chose to work as a hostess in a karaoke bar... Maybe, hearing that she works as a hostess in a karaoke bar, people would think she's not a respectable woman, but I understand her..."
I sniffed, and then I thought of the devastating earthquake of 2008 that changed the lives of countless people. Although Wang Lei survived by chance, she still died tragically a few years later, in an even more cruel way.
Ye Zhi asked me, "Does she have some kind of trouble?"
“I don’t know if this counts as a hardship, but she is truly an unfortunate woman… She originally had a very happy family, but the devastating earthquake in 2008 took everything from her, including her parents… Honestly, there are too many poor people in this world. Just surviving is already a struggle for us. Of course, this is not an excuse for depravity, so I used to be very disgusted by Wang Lei’s choice… But later I learned that she just wanted to do her best to help children who share her fate… She is quite pretty and easily liked by customers, so she made money quickly. She used that money to donate a Hope Primary School to them, and the students are all children who lost their parents in the earthquake.”
Ye Zhi looked at me... My Adam's apple bobbed, and then tears fell. Although many times when I think of Wang Lei, it doesn't hurt as much as it did at the beginning, human emotions are strange and inexplicable. When I talk about this past with the woman I like, my heart aches again... Perhaps, I long for her to understand me, and I long for her to comprehend my depth and pain.
Ye Zhi asked me softly, "Is she still in Shanghai, doing that job?"
I chewed on the half-finished cigarette, then shook my head: "She died, in an accident... because she refused to work as a prostitute, and got into a conflict with a customer... Before she died, we met at a bar. It was then that she talked to me about going to Dali. She felt that I was living too repressively in Shanghai, while Dali was a culturally diverse and inclusive city. So she suggested that I open a guesthouse in Dali and gave me 190,000 yuan... She said that if I could settle down in Dali by opening a guesthouse, she would quit her job and come to Dali too... To be honest, although I had just broken up with Lu Jia at that time and was a bit disheartened, I never thought about leaving Shanghai because I'm not someone who likes change... until after she died."
A cold wind blew between Ye Zhi and me, but we didn't get any closer and remained silent for a long time until the cigarette in my hand gradually burned out.
"So, you came to Dali carrying her unfulfilled wishes and dreams?"
"Most of them are."
"What about the other half?"
"At one point, I suddenly felt completely disillusioned with Shanghai, and realized there was nothing left for me to cherish... It was probably a feeling of utter despair!"
After a brief pause, I continued, "But leaving Shanghai isn't the end for me. Before coming to find you, I met with Taozi... She told me that before I broke up with Lu Jia, Wang Lei had met with Lu Jia. This is definitely not a coincidence, because in daily life, they are two rather opposing people, and there's no friendship between them. So that meeting must have had a purpose, or rather, they reached some kind of consensus... Now, Wang Lei is gone, so the only one who knows the truth is Lu Jia!"
Having said all that, I said no more and offered no further explanation. I believed that Ye Zhi, this extremely intelligent woman, would be able to figure out the connection, cause, and consequences of all this.
Amidst the sound of the tide, she finally spoke to me, saying, "After hearing what you've said, I feel like you live in a more three-dimensional world, while I'm the one living in monotony..."
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