I took a deep breath, picked up my car keys from the table, and then looked through the wooden window at Jiulongju, which was shrouded in the night. Just like my mood at that moment, I was confused, struggling, unable to sleep, and unable to break free. I quickly sank and floated in the vortex of reason and emotion several times.
I lit a cigarette to calm myself down, and I couldn't help but think of Lu Jia and Ye Zhi again. What were they feeling at this moment, since they were at the same point in time as me?
I can roughly imagine it, but when it comes to the specifics of their physical forms and every move, it becomes blurry.
A moment later, the woman who had been using Lu Jia's number sent me another message: "I found out that Lu Jia is staying at the airport hotel near the airport, room 602. Whether you go or not is up to you, but I'm reminding you that time is running out. Once Lu Jia boards the plane, it will really be over between you two."
"Thanks."
"So, are you going or not...? Lu Jia definitely wants you to go, otherwise she wouldn't have told me the room number... Let me ask you this: if that woman hadn't appeared, would you be so hesitant?... I'm afraid that even now, you're still thinking about Lu Jia!"
“There’s nothing wrong with her appearance, and there’s nothing wrong with my hesitation… On the contrary, I feel that your constant pressure on me from a moral standpoint is unacceptable.”
"Really? Maybe one day you'll thank me... I asked Lu Jia, and she said that the woman you're with is incredibly capable. Not only is she decked out in luxury brands, but one of her watches alone costs hundreds of thousands. Can you really handle her... or is it that you're after something more than her?"
"I used to think you were a woman with strong likes and dislikes, a woman with a strong personality... but what you're saying to me now makes me feel particularly disappointed!"
"What's disappointing? Is it because my words touched a nerve?"
"I'm not in the mood to explain to someone who knows nothing."
"I may not know as much as you do."
"What do you know? Tell me... I find this kind of play very interesting?"
“My time is precious, and I wouldn’t be so bored as to mess with someone I’ve never met… I just hope you can treat Lu Jia well; she deserves it.”
Our chat ended there, and I didn't reply. A moment later, I found the transfer record again. It was 8,400 yuan, but Lu Jia didn't even stay for one night. Putting everything else aside, I should return this money to her because it was not a small amount for her.
With a heavy sigh, I finally picked up my car keys and headed outside. My destination was the Kunming airport.
...
The car Ye Zhi borrowed was probably driven by a woman, because instead of a Buddhist statue or other ornaments that men would like, there was a handmade flower wreath hanging on the rearview mirror. The moment I started the car, the car stereo started playing music. I don't know what kind of taste this woman has, but I really needed music to accompany me on this long journey.
Once people get caught up in the whirlpool of emotions, they easily become sentimental. So when I listen to those sad love songs about memories and emotional entanglements, I feel like they are singing about my own experiences. The more I listen, the sadder I become, so I decide to switch to the radio station and listen to some lighter talk shows.
At that moment, the song playing in sequence switched to Eason Chan's "Elimination." I remember listening to it repeatedly during the time I broke up with Lu Jia because the lyrics perfectly reflected my feelings at the time. I still remember what that heart-wrenching feeling was like. I suffered from insomnia, and when I finally fell asleep, I would always have dreams about Lu Jia, dreaming that we hadn't broken up and were even happier than before.
Upon waking, I went from disappointment to despair. I lit a cigarette and sat there from dawn until noon, not knowing what I was thinking or what I should do.
The familiar melody and lyrics brought me back to those hopeless days, and my greatest hope was that one day Lu Jia would suddenly return to my side and tell me that it was all just a dream, that she still loved me... loved me unconditionally...
I persevered with this belief until I saw reality clearly, until all the pain faded away...
But now, Lu Jia has really come back, but I am standing on the pebbles of time, completely disoriented.
...
I drove nearly 400 kilometers from late at night until morning. When I parked the car and stepped out, my feet felt like they were walking on cotton. This was an illusion caused by over-fatigue. But compared to the emptiness brought by fatigue, the anxiety in my heart was more real. I had not found the right emotions to face Lu Jia because of this long journey.
Upon entering the hotel, I didn't go directly to Lu Jia's room. Instead, I waited in the lobby and had the front desk call her room to tell her that someone was waiting for her downstairs. The reason I didn't go directly to the room was because I wanted to respect my current relationship with Lu Jia and also respect Ye Zhi's trust in me. At least Ye Zhi certainly wouldn't want me, who had confessed my feelings for her last night, to be alone with Lu Jia in her room this morning, a man and a woman all alone together.
...
Five minutes later, Lu Jia walked out of the elevator in her pajamas. Her eyes were red and swollen, indicating that she had not only been crying but also had probably not slept well all night.
She sat down opposite me and asked, "Why don't we go inside and talk? Are you really bothered by this?"
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