After Lu Jia gave me this choice, my feelings changed very much. In the years we've been together, I've imagined what it would be like for us to have our wedding. Maybe it's because I love her, but I've always felt that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world when she wears a wedding dress!
At this moment, she finally brought up the topic of marriage with me. In a moment of daze, I felt that we had never broken up, but only been separated for half a year... In the future, we will still be like before. Although we have our own work, we will eat together, go shopping, and watch movies together. On weekends, she will stay at my rented apartment. Before going to sleep, we will lie on the sofa and watch a movie or make love.
No, if we really choose to get back together, then I should have an apartment in Shanghai, and all memories of rented apartments should be completely forgotten.
It wasn't until the roar of a plane flying into the clouds that I snapped out of my daze. Then, looking at Lu Jia sitting across from me, a woman who seemed both familiar and unfamiliar, I lit a cigarette... In the hazy smoke, the memories of the past six months in Dali became clear again. I had been transformed and no longer wanted to be a small-town citizen imprisoned in a big city, racking my brains day and night for a job...
I have ambitions and, more importantly, responsibilities. My body, and even the blood in it, should be free, instead of being devoured by cancer cells made of steel, concrete, and dust in the big city, turning me into an old person and a machine of life.
I finally whispered to Lu Jia, "I don't like waiting, and I can no longer find the feeling I had when I liked you, so I won't go back."
Lu Jia looked at me helplessly, her hands tightening around her sleeves, then loosening, then tightening again...
She seemed to be holding back tears. After a long while, tears welled up in her eyes, but she smiled and said to me, "Michael, do you remember?... Two years ago, I had an appendectomy. At that time, you put aside your work and stayed with me day and night at the hospital. To make sure I could have some good soy milk, you would get up at five o'clock every morning to queue up at that old-fashioned breakfast shop that was five or six stops away from the hospital... I always thought you took a taxi there, until one day, it snowed in Shanghai, and you appeared in front of me with your head covered in ice crystals, carrying breakfast. I realized that you couldn't even afford a taxi, but you bought me a breakfast that cost tens of yuan... In that instant, seeing your hands red and swollen, yet you untied your scarf and smiled at me, I decided that I would marry no one but you in this life..."
Lu Jia was somewhat overwhelmed with emotion; her voice choked with sobs as she said, "But even after having this thought, I still chose to break up with you... It turns out, people really do change. So why should I expect you to remain unchanged?... Go, I won't bother you anymore. I'll just think carefully about why this relationship turned out this way... Is it because one of us did something wrong, or is it just human nature?"
I remained silent, but felt a deep sadness in my heart. Lu Jia was right. It wasn't just her; there was a moment when I also believed that I would marry no one but her. But in the end, time changed us.
"Michael, I hope the changes between us won't happen to you and her. I sincerely wish you both a long and happy life together... Go now, I'll watch you leave this time!"
I hesitated for a moment, then said in a low voice, "...Okay, before I leave, I'll return the room fee you paid earlier...Here's a QR code for the payment."
"I want cash."
"Wait a moment, I'll go get it for you."
There was an ATM outside the hotel. I withdrew 10,000 yuan in cash and then counted out 8,400 yuan and gave it to Lu Jia.
I thought I would feel relieved, but the moment I turned to leave, my heart felt like it had been stabbed... Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I wonder what kind of mood Lu Jia will be in as she spends the night on the plane.
But I know that when she came, she must have been full of expectations, thinking that we could still kiss and hug for love, and cry tears of joy for reconciliation, just like before.
I couldn't help but look back at her again. Her eyes were just like those of me when I stood on the 19th floor watching her leave that rainy night.
...
After driving all night, I didn't dare risk driving back to Dali, so shortly after getting on the highway, I stopped in a county near Kunming and booked a room... Because the county was small, there was no ban on fireworks, so when I lay in bed, I was surrounded by explosions. My head was buzzing, and I felt really unwell. I desperately wanted to sleep, but I just couldn't... Especially when I closed my eyes, I kept seeing Lu Jia's image, and those memories I hadn't completely forgotten...
Yes, I love Lu Jia, but for some reason, I've given up on the idea of being with her.
As for Ye Zhi, he felt more of a liking than intense love...
Although I'm very confused right now, this is the only judgment I can still make with a clear head. In my view of love, love must involve shared experiences to be considered love. For example, the mundane things in life, a heated argument, or wanting to buy a gun to kill her but buying her favorite cake instead and forgetting about the gun.
Clearly, none of these qualities existed between Ye Zhi and me... So, this was just liking, attraction, and the urge to be together...
But is this kind of impulse reliable?
This is the first time I've asked myself this question; or, is it really because the urge to be with Ye Zhi has overcome everything that I don't want to get back together with Lu Jia?
This chapter is not finished yet. Please click on the next page to continue reading the exciting content!
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
