Behind me is the "Haitu Inn" located in Majiuyi, which was the first place Ye Zhi stayed after coming to Dali. I don't know why I came here, but here, I feel more truly how important Ye Zhi is to me. My pain at this moment is truly because I lost her and this relationship that hadn't even had a chance to blossom.
I sipped my cigarette, closed my eyes, and smiled. Then I remembered the viewpoint on the highway and the lake that flowed quietly beside the mountain. That was where Ye Zhi and I first met.
That day, wearing sunglasses, she stood in the twilight, seemingly otherworldly. I was just an ordinary onlooker, admiring the beautiful scenery and admiring her, never imagining that we would have such an experience, which would then become the past at this moment...
It hurts a lot; it's a pain that feels like a serious injury.
I comforted myself, thinking that this was a pretty good outcome. If you truly love someone so much that you can't live without them, but you can't be together, that's what real pain is! But now, at least I still have the ability to ease the pain.
He opened his eyes, lit the cigarette in his mouth, took a deep drag, and felt instantly empty. He didn't want to think about anything or do anything; he just wanted to get a good night's sleep in this place where he had met and talked with Ye Zhi many times.
I actually fell asleep and had a dream. In the dream, I was a creature with wings, and Ye Zhi was driving her Mercedes-Benz G-Class, speeding along a national highway with no end in sight. I accompanied her all the way, and finally we stopped together by a salt lake. White clouds floated in the sky and fell into the water, as if the water and the sky were connected as one.
My purpose in being here is to accompany you. So, in the howling wind, we didn't say a word. Only our two shadows were reflected in the water, merging with the heavens and the earth.
I was woken up by the cold, and the first thing I did after waking up was to reach for my phone. I fantasized that Ye Zhi had put me on her blacklist, but the chat history was still there. It turns out that all the beautiful things were just dreams, and reality was shattered.
In the vast darkness of night, I felt so lost and sad!
...
On the way back to "Jiulongju", Nicole called me and said that the bar was almost finished and asked me to take Ye Zhi to see it. She hoped that we could give her some suggestions so that she could finish the finishing touches perfectly.
Pushing open the glass door, Nicole was placing a pot of marguerites on the corner bookshelf. Seeing me alone, she asked, "Where's Ye Zhi? She probably doesn't have the habit of going to bed early, does she?"
I replied, "I don't know where to begin. Please sit down and let me think."
Nicole wiped her hands, sat down opposite me, and looked at me with a very concerned expression.
I lit a cigarette, squinted, took a puff, and then said, "She's no longer in Dali, and she's blocked me on WeChat."
"You must be joking, everything was fine just a couple of days ago."
"What happened in the last two days... Actually, we've already talked things out... I like her, and she likes me too, but I couldn't seize the opportunity she gave me..." I sighed and added, "I handled this pretty humiliatingly!"
"Stop sighing to yourself and tell me what happened."
I glanced at Nicole, and then told her everything that had happened in the past two days...
I was quite fortunate that there was still someone to talk to me at this time, but Nicole didn't think so. She glared at me and scolded, "Are you a sexist? You can even let a cooked duck fly away!"
I replied softly, "I know what I can do to make her happy... but I never considered this a casual relationship, so I really want to take responsibility for her..."
Nicole interrupted me: "Stop, this isn't taking responsibility, it's playing house... When you said those things, did you even consider her perspective?... Honestly, as a woman, my first instinct was that you were trying to find a balance between her and your ex-girlfriend... What's even more infuriating is that she misunderstood, and you didn't even explain... Your emotional intelligence is just too touching!"
"If you were me, what would you do?"
“At the very least, I won’t text her about this. I’ll ask her out to talk to her in person… Let her see my expression and tone. She’s a very perceptive woman. She can tell from your every word and action whether you’re sincere or lying… Sending a cold, impersonal message will only make her feel like you’re running away… That’s the difference, do you understand?”
I stared in astonishment at Nicole, who was helping me with the analysis... I felt that there was some truth to what she said.
"Say something! Why are you staring at me with those big eyes?"
"...I didn't think that much about it at the time!"
"Do you know where you went wrong?"
"The wrong way of communicating was used..."
"It's good that you can recognize your mistake... However, it's not entirely your fault. Ye Zhi is too proud... She really resorts to violence at the slightest disagreement... You must be in a lot of pain right now, right?"
"It hurts everywhere!"
"So what do you plan to do?"
I remained silent for a long time before replying, "Let her go... Calm down and think about it. We really are not from the same world. Even without this hurdle, we might not be able to go the distance in the future."
"Then you still don't love her enough... To love someone is to try every means to be with them."
"I've also heard another saying... to love someone is to make them whole."
"Nonsense... What have you done for her?... You're causing her pain. Don't think she's not upset."
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