After a sharp, piercing pain, I regained some clarity. I quickly found Ye Zhi's number and dialed it, only to receive a message that the phone was switched off...
My heart felt like it had fallen into a huge, dark abyss. I couldn't find any sense of security and was gripped by immense fear. The pain was like a million ants gnawing at the most vulnerable part of my heart.
I imagined myself as Ye Zhi, who, after the yacht sank, could only use her fragile body to fight against the hurricane and giant waves, and then fell into the abyss of despair, being swallowed up little by little by the boundless sea... and her life disappeared along with it.
How much pain she endured before her life ended!
I could no longer stand. My hands clutched the clothes around my heart. The only thing holding me up was a sliver of hope: maybe a miracle would happen.
...
At the "Women's Flower" bar, Nicole and I sat near the bar. Rain pattered against the window, blurring the world outside... I felt frozen, unsure of what to do, only replaying the images of being with Ye Zhi in my mind over and over again.
These images are something that natural disasters cannot erase. I would rather immerse myself in these images and believe that she is still alive... And life should not be so fragile. She was a woman, a woman of heaven, who bore so many social responsibilities and had so many promising futures waiting for her to realize... How could she leave us so hastily at the age when she should be full of vigor and ambition?
Or is it truly a case of "beautiful women often have tragic fates," and that even the heavens were jealous of her existence, thus arranging such a destiny for her? If so, then she was truly a woman with a bitter life, because she never truly experienced happiness, having dedicated everything to that group called "Binjiang."
I was so sad that I cried, and I no longer felt any hatred towards her...
Nicole handed me a tissue and whispered, "It's unrealistic to tell you not to be sad, but I still hope you can be strong... At least the search and rescue in Thailand is still ongoing, and we shouldn't speculate about the outcome before the search is complete..."
I looked at Nicole...
Nicole gestured for me to wipe away my tears with a tissue.
I finally spoke to her, saying, "She's such a good swimmer... a miracle is bound to happen, right?"
"Yes, it will definitely happen."
My heart was soothed, and I smiled at Nicole, but the next moment, tears welled up again because I couldn't hold them back. This wasn't weakness, but the truest reflection of my heart... because I had genuine feelings for Ye Zhi.
Nicole cried too...
Our mood was like the rain outside the window, chaotic and cold... In Dali, whenever it rains, it turns into winter. You can no longer see tourists wearing short sleeves on the street. Everyone is wearing thick coats, or even down jackets and cotton-padded coats.
...
The bar door was pushed open again, and this time Yang Sisi appeared before us, wearing a down jacket. She had clearly run all the way here, because she was panting heavily when she stopped in front of Nicole and me.
She rested her hands on her knees and said to Nicole, "Nicole, I saw the message you sent me as soon as I woke up... Is it true?"
Nicole nodded.
Yang Sisi stared in disbelief, then remained lost in thought for a long time, staring at the rain-soaked window.
Nicole then said to Yang Sisi, "I've already helped Michael get a visa to Thailand, but it won't be ready anytime soon... Let's wait for the search and rescue results while we wait for the visa... It would be best if we didn't have to go!" After a slight pause, Nicole continued, "Michael has no experience traveling abroad, and his English isn't good either... If you don't mind, could you go to Thailand with him?"
Yang Sisi bit her lip and then replied, "In the face of life and death, everything else is trivial... I will be with him."
I looked at Yang Sisi, and she looked at me too...
She wanted to say something to me, but ultimately chose to remain silent.
...
Over the next two days, more news came from Dai Qiang. He said that there were no islands for dozens of nautical miles around the area where Ye Zhi had her accident. On the night of the accident, the wind and waves were high, making self-rescue extremely difficult... Last year, a local fishing boat also had an accident in that area. There were eight people on board, but only one survived. In addition, the search and rescue operation had been going on for three days without finding Ye Zhi. Therefore, the Thai side judged that the possibility of Ye Zhi surviving was extremely small.
These past two days, I've oscillated between hope and despair countless times. My mental state is at its worst. Often, when I'm alone, smoking or lost in thought, I inexplicably start trembling... and then I experience intermittent amnesia, unable to remember why I'm like this...
...
Five days after Ye Zhi's accident, my visa was finally approved. Yang Sisi and I booked tickets to fly to Phuket, Thailand at 10:30 the next morning. In the evening, Yang Sisi came to the small room I had rented before and helped me unpack my luggage, while I sat on a chair by the window smoking... The ashtray was already full of cigarette butts.
Yang Sisi emptied the cigarette butts from the ashtray for me and then asked, "Do you have short sleeves and shorts? It's hot in Thailand, so these will be fine."
I stared at her for a while before snapping out of it and saying to her, "You take a break, I can take care of it myself."
"Let me do it. You don't know what you need to bring... Oh, by the way, go to the pharmacy on the next street and buy some mosquito repellent spray. There are a lot of mosquitoes there... Buy the one with the pink cap, it's really effective."
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