After sitting on the beach for a while, Yang Sisi bought back the seafood porridge, along with some beer and a bag of stir-fried clams to go with the drinks. I'm not stupid; I know she was trying very hard to make me relax. And these past two days, she's done what she should have done, and even what she shouldn't have done... I can't even imagine what I would have been like if she hadn't been with me on this trip to Thailand. In Thailand, there are so many things I couldn't have accomplished on my own.
Yang Sisi handed me the seafood porridge and asked, "I got you some of the chopped chili peppers that Thais often eat. Try it and see if you like it. If you think it's good, you can put it in the seafood porridge."
I wanted to say "thank you," but I swallowed it back because she forbade me from using that polite word between us.
As I held the seafood porridge in my hands, I realized that she had only ordered one serving. I asked her, "What about yours?"
"I'm not hungry, I'm on a diet, you should eat."
"We've been rushing on our way and haven't eaten much all day... How come you're not hungry?"
"I'm not hungry at all. I'll just go back to the hotel and have some snacks."
Ignoring her explanation, I divided the seafood porridge into two portions, one in the original box and the other in a plastic bag. I gave her the box and ate the one in the plastic bag myself. Although it wasn't very convenient, it made me feel a little more at ease...
I already made her suffer by bringing her to Thailand, so I should at least make sure she has enough to eat, instead of letting my mood affect her and make her lose her appetite.
Seeing me diligently eating, Yang Sisi finally picked up the other half of the porridge and started eating herself...
A moment later, the performer in the bar in the distance lit one of those torches with iron chains attached, and he swung it with all his might, causing sparks to fly everywhere, even more spectacular than fireworks...
In the past, Yang Sisi would have found it romantic and taken out her phone to record the scene; but at this moment, she didn't do that. Like me, she stared blankly at the firelight that flickered like shooting stars...
I know that my unbearable pain has affected her; or perhaps, deep down, she is just as worried about Ye Zhi's safety as I am. Just as she herself said, although she does live carefree most of the time, she also has her own kindness.
...
The next morning, Yang Sisi helped me contact the local search and rescue team, but they firmly refused my request to participate in the rescue. At noon, Yang Sisi found me a yacht, but she insisted on going with me and wouldn't let me go alone.
I knew she wasn't a very good swimmer, but no matter how I refused, it was no use. In the end, I made her promise that she wouldn't take off her life jacket the whole time before I let her onto the yacht.
After nearly two hours of sailing, the yacht finally reached the area where Ye Zhi had her accident... and during that time, we didn't see a single island for more than an hour.
The crew on the yacht told us that such seas are very unfavorable for escape because human physical strength is limited. Without finding an island to land on, coupled with strong winds and waves, even the best swimmers would not last long.
Yang Sisi was vomiting uncontrollably, but she still stubbornly stood beside me, determined to do her part in finding Ye Zhi.
...
From noon until evening, we didn't stop for a single minute, while the crew member was getting impatient. He said to us in broken Chinese, "Don't bother looking anymore... Finding someone at sea is too difficult, too difficult... She must be dead, eaten by fish... Think about it... Malaysia Airlines has such a big plane, and they haven't found anything yet... She must be dead..."
I clenched my fists tightly, then glared at him with bloodshot eyes... He lit a cigarette, glanced at me indifferently, as if he was used to these shipwrecks.
Yang Sisi grabbed me tightly and said to the crew member, "If you want to make money off us, say less... If we can't find it today, we'll keep looking tomorrow... until we find it..."
The crew member spread his hands and replied, "You have money...you find it..."
...
It was midnight when Yang Sisi and I finally got back to the hotel. She had been vomiting all day and was so nauseous that she couldn't eat anything. In just one day, she had become noticeably thinner, and even her skin had lost its luster and looked somewhat oily. Her back was also severely peeling from the strong sunlight.
I ran around several streets before finally finding a Chinese-owned restaurant where I could buy some millet porridge that was good for the stomach. I added a little sugar and delivered it to Yang Sisi's room.
She opened the door for me, then went back to bed.
I said to her with concern and a hint of guilt, "Drink the porridge, it's good for your stomach... Tomorrow, don't follow me around... That crew member speaks a little Chinese, I can communicate with him without any problems."
"No, I will definitely be there for you as long as you do your best."
"You're suffering too much like this..."
Yang Sisi interrupted me and said, "I told you before, in the face of life and death, everything else is trivial... I, like you, also want to find Ye Zhi as soon as possible... so you won't be so sad and desperate... Although I know you will definitely go back to her side, as long as you are happy!"
I lowered my head and remained silent for a long time before whispering to her, "Was it worth it?"
"Why do we always have to investigate whether everything is worthwhile?... When you did these things for Ye Zhi, did you ever think about whether it was worth it?... If you didn't think about it, why do you care whether it's worth it for me?"
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