As dusk settled, the landlord and I were still standing in the middle of Renmin Road when the homeless man walked away with his dog. Looking at his lonely figure, I understood something, but I never expected that it would be a stranger who would truly enlighten me.
And this stranger was the landlord of the accordion-playing woman; the connection seemed to be preordained.
“Brother, when I heard you say those things just now, I sensed something was off about you, like you were starting to have delusions… Deep affection and lasting love are certainly good things… but think about it, if the coachman’s wife were watching from heaven, would she want to see him like this?… This is far worse than just surviving!”
After a brief pause, the landlord continued, “If he had been able to move on from this pain, find a good woman, and have children… his mother might not have died of grief, and he wouldn’t be in this situation today… The price he paid was too high!… He forgot that the woman who truly loved him would only want him to be better… Although there is an insurmountable chasm between life and death, the most sincere feelings between men and women endure… This sincerity is definitely not blind loyalty, but a spirit of wanting the other person to be better… Let me ask you, if love existed in her world, would you want her to be lonely and miserable every day, yearning for someone she could never have again?”
I felt uneasy, but I followed my deepest thoughts and replied, "If there is a man in that world who truly cares for her, I would definitely want her to be happy... I don't want to be the source of her pain at all... I can accept her being someone else's woman, but she must be happy."
"...Brother, someone who hasn't experienced this wouldn't say what you just said, so you should demand the same of yourself... Don't neglect the people who truly care about you, and don't let the tragedy of the stable boy repeat itself... When you can do that, then you'll have true love in your heart!"
I remained silent.
The landlord patted me on the shoulder again, as both a gesture of comfort and encouragement.
"Thanks."
"No need to thank me. These days, there aren't many people as kind and righteous as you... I'll help in any way I can."
I finally mustered some courage, and I stopped avoiding the question, asking him, "Is your tenant really not her?"
The landlord shook his head: "No..."
The illusion I had painstakingly built shattered, but the landlord's words and the coachman's story that evening remained deeply etched in my heart... giving me the courage to truly try to live a life without Ye Zhi.
I'm not young anymore. If I meet a woman who truly loves me in the future, I will try to accept her.
Besides, I also know that unrestrained fantasies will ruin me.
...
Xiao Song finally called me, saying that he had brought Lao Mi and my mother back to the ancient city.
We met at the end of Renmin Road and then went to a restaurant together for dinner.
During the meal, I took the initiative to talk to Lao Mi about the future. I told him that when I have money, I will buy a villa in Dali and bring him and my mother to live with me.
Although Lao Mi said he was still used to living in his hometown, I could tell that he was quite happy when I said that. He also said that he would come to my place to escape the heat and cold when it gets too hot in the summer or too cold in the winter.
Finally, Old Mi cautiously said to me, "Once your career and everything else are stable... you should also think about your love life... Your mother and I are getting old, and we don't have the ability to worry about you anymore... So you have to have this in mind... People always strive for better things, you can't let this life go back to the way it was... If you do, even if we don't say anything, we'll definitely feel bad inside... Do you understand what I mean?"
I remained silent, not because I disagreed with Lao Mi, but because I couldn't fully recover from my previous state of mind...
My mom misunderstood my feelings. She thought I was unhappy to hear these things, so she quickly changed the subject and said to me, "Michael... Mom has something to ask you. Have you contacted the hospital for your dad's nasal surgery yet?"
“I’ve already asked a friend to help me make a reservation… He’ll let me know as soon as there’s a bed available… Don’t worry, it won’t be delayed.”
My mom smiled and said to Lao Mi, "I told you, no matter how good relatives are, they're still relatives... The only one we can really rely on is our son. We made the right choice coming here this time."
"I didn't say my son was bad..."
Before Lao Mi could finish speaking, my mother interrupted, "That's why, if our son is filial, we parents should learn to understand him, not put too much pressure on him, and just let him do what he wants... He understands everything perfectly well!"
Old Mi glanced at me and then nodded.
I knew Old Mi wouldn't say anything more, but I still felt a little guilty.
...
After dropping Lao Mi and my mom off at their hotel, I returned to the old town. I had left a handbag at the studio containing a contract template that I needed to take back to study, which is why I went back.
After retrieving my items, I walked alone from the old town towards the parking lot.
On the way, I passed a stall selling matsutake mushrooms.
I remember this was Yang Sisi's favorite food in Dali, but it's only available this season...
Since it was a rare opportunity to meet her here, I decided to buy some things; even if it was to apologize for the harsh words I had said to her in the evening... I am indeed not a person who likes to say "sorry," so my way of apologizing is usually to try to please her, which is, to put it bluntly, a bad habit of being too proud.
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