In my opinion, she should have worn something more approachable so as not to seem unapproachable, but instead she dressed in a cold and aloof way and just stood there by the railing two meters away from me.
My heart was pounding, and my blood seemed to be rushing to my brain, so my mind went blank, and I didn't know what to say to start the conversation.
She didn't come over; she just stood there.
The rain soaked our shoulders, and those people with umbrellas were just hiding under them, spying on us...
Gradually, the city's presence shrank infinitely, while my personal presence grew stronger and stronger, surpassing everything before me. It was as if all the city's lights were directed at me, and countless eyes were focusing on me, 'forcing' me to say something.
...
I finally managed to pull a cigarette out of the pack, put it in my mouth, and then walked towards Ye Zhi...
She only turned to look at me when I was standing right next to her...
My breathing became rapid.
"Do you have a light? Could you lend me a light?"
I don't know why I asked that question; the lighter was actually in my own jacket pocket. At that moment, I was a coward, afraid to say I hated her, and afraid to say I loved her...
I stared at her for two seconds, then looked away, pretending to be watching the boats on the river while still glancing at her out of the corner of my eye.
I've forgotten the memory of kissing her. Aside from that, we've hugged each other tightly. She told me she loved me, and of course I loved her too... But at this moment, I only feel that her body is still the same, but her inner soul has changed.
I'm not even sure if she still remembers me.
In the rain, she finally spoke to me, saying, "You have it in your own pocket."
I looked down and saw that part of the lighter was sticking out because my pocket was shallow. I took it out of my pocket and said to her expressionlessly, "It was in my pocket. I thought I left it with you..."
If she remembers the past, she will understand what those words mean.
I pressed the lighter hard, and the cigarette lit, but it didn't smoke as smoothly as usual. I took it out of my mouth and looked at it. It turned out that the end I put in my mouth wasn't the cigarette butt; I had smoked it upside down.
This is another embarrassing moment!
A surge of uncontrollable anger suddenly rose in my heart, mixed with a great deal of grievance and heartache.
I lost control and threw the cigarette and lighter at Ye Zhi's feet... The lighter exploded, breaking the silence of the night and eliciting screams.
I combed all my wet hair back, then held onto the railing, leaving my back to the crowd of onlookers.
I clenched my fists and pounded on the railing, then began to tremble and feel dizzy, like someone with low blood sugar. The moment I stood up, I couldn't even see what was in front of me... I was so sad, and even more so, I felt powerless!
Ye Zhi, however, did not utter a single word from beginning to end.
...
I sniffed and finally spoke to her, "Don't you think I'm ridiculous?... If you think I'm ridiculous, then laugh... Why are you being so cold to me... Do I owe you something?... Even if two people who are just acquaintances meet... shouldn't they at least exchange a few polite words?!"
"Michael..."
"So you knew my name was Michael... I won't say anything else, I just want to ask, did you come here on purpose, or was it just another damn coincidence?"
"Shanghai is so big, there aren't that many chance encounters."
"Okay... Since you came all this way specifically, you should at least say something to me... Don't always make me speak. Every word I say now is an embarrassment... If I had known you would come here, I should have worn a mask."
"I came here with a bit of a glimmer of hope... I know you've come to Shanghai... but I'm not sure if you'll come to the Bund."
I turned to look at Ye Zhi, and remembered how she used to snuggle up to me, making me feel so secure and my heart pounding. I felt like the luckiest man in the world, wondering what I had done to deserve such a woman.
When I thought that way, we were already unequal. It wasn't until I actually faced her that I realized how unwilling I was. I had given her all my most beautiful fantasies about life, but the person standing in front of me was a complete stranger.
My eyes felt hot, and it seemed like tears were welling up in my eyes.
I took a deep breath before speaking to her, "Let's not talk about anything else... I just want you to tell me, what have you been through in the past year?"
"Don't pry into my past... I don't want to talk about it."
I laughed...
Ye Zhi then asked, "How are you doing?"
"I don't want to say... If you want to know, you can ask around."
In her silence, I continued, "After you came back, Jian Zihan called me, and I firmly believed that there was no need for us to see each other again... Now it seems that it was necessary, because before I saw you, I had a little bit of hope in my heart... After seeing you, all I saw was indifference and indifference... I have nothing to agonize over anymore, I will live the life I should live... In this world, thousands of paths intertwine, and given a choice, I will definitely choose the widest one... If there is no choice, I will take whatever path is available... But I will definitely not stop again!"
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