I can't explain it.
Xiao Tian then said to me, "Brother Mi, you can stay here... Your money didn't fall from the sky, so every little bit helps... Oh, by the way, you can stay anywhere except the south-facing room on the second floor..."
"Why can't we live in the south-facing room?"
Xiao Tian laughed: "Sisi said that room is her future marital home... You can stay there if you want, it just depends on whether you have the guts!"
I was taken aback for a moment before I realized what she meant, but instead of responding, I changed the subject and asked, "If she lets me live in this house, where will she stay when she comes to Dali in the future?"
"Isn't such a big house big enough for the two of you?"
As soon as I said it, Xiao Tian instantly realized the true meaning behind my words. He looked regretful and then asked me in a low voice, "Brother Mi, Sisi is such a good girl, she thinks of you in everything... Can't you really have any room for her in your heart?"
I looked out at Erhai Lake through the floor-to-ceiling window, lost in thought for a moment, before whispering, "Don't make things difficult for me... I'll call her and talk to her about this myself."
"Alright... then you can sit here for a while. I have a few clients waiting to see the houses, so I'll go and get busy."
"Go ahead and get busy."
...
Shortly after Xiaotian left, I also left without calling Yang Sisi. After returning to the inn, I moved my luggage to Nicole's place and paid Nicole a quarter's rent; this wasn't a result of careful consideration, although I preferred Yang Sisi's apartment, I couldn't move in.
Unless, I truly believe she is the woman I can spend my life with.
I know that when Cao Xiaobei said he was a tanker truck, wasn't Yang Sisi just another tanker truck...?
One day, she too will run out of energy; perhaps, years later, when I think back on these choices, I will regret it... But I really can't bring myself to start a new relationship with another woman before I've truly let go of one; otherwise, I wouldn't have stayed in Jimo alone for so long.
Furthermore, Yang Sisi is different from Lu Jia. Lu Jia wants marriage and a stable material life, while Yang Sisi wants genuine love.
...
If that day ever comes and I change myself, but she leaves, then all I can say is that our love was not meant to be!
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