My longing for Yang Sisi left me somewhat dazed. I walked from one street to another, finally stopping in front of a noodle restaurant. I ordered a vegetarian noodle dish, ate my fill, and then continued wandering the streets…
That night, I walked along the bustling Nanjing Road, saw countless beautiful women, and also saw a group of women whose lives had been worn down by life in some alleys lined with tenement buildings.
The world has never changed; it remains as starkly opposed as ever.
I need to get out and about. I can't forget what the real world is like just because I'm surrounded by romance and beauty. I must retain the necessary pain and desires in life. These are part of my life. It is because I am in pain that I have the desire to break free and that I am clearer about what kind of life I really want.
Yes, I am a man who is good at thinking and always maintains a sense of crisis.
...
I let out a heavy sigh of relief and hailed a taxi. I didn't set a specific destination; I gave the driver 200 yuan and asked him to take me around. I'd stop wherever the 200 yuan ran out.
The driver asked me if I was from out of town, and I said yes.
He then asked me if this was my first time in Shanghai, and I said yes.
I rarely encounter such an enthusiastic taxi driver in Shanghai. He took me to many worthwhile places to visit and told me a lot of related stories, which I really listened to. Then I felt like I had wasted so many years in Shanghai; it seems like I only live between my rented room and the company, and I have no idea what the open Shanghai is really like.
Or rather, my heart has never truly connected with this city, so I have never thought about feeling or embracing its beauty.
...
The driver seemed to have calculated it all. When I was almost out of 200 yuan, he dropped me off at the Bund and said, "Young man, when you come to Shanghai, you must see the night view of the Bund... Do you see it? That's the famous Oriental Pearl Tower over there, and the Huangpu River is flowing beneath your feet... Have a good time exploring. I hope you'll feel that your trip was worthwhile!"
"Thank you, Master."
The driver waved to me, then closed the car window and drove away, leaving me alone once again.
I stood in a quiet, uncrowded spot, gazing into the distance... The entire Bund was still the same as before, with couples embracing each other, and single men and women standing by the railings, silently watching the river view.
I couldn't help but be moved by the scene...
Ye Zhi and I have met here several times, but several times it was not by chance, because she knew I was in Shanghai and knew that I would definitely come here.
It's a strange phenomenon. Whenever the Bund is involved, we seem to become two very primitive people. We don't need to contact each other by phone; we can bump into each other while walking around. To be honest, before our conflict became so deep, I quite liked this way of meeting because it was always a pleasant surprise. But now, I'm extremely conflicted. I can't lie to myself; I definitely want to see her, but I'm also worried that we'll have nothing to say to each other after meeting, which would make me feel awkward.
...
There were no cigarettes left in the pack, and I started to feel uneasy. I kept worrying that if I saw her without cigarettes, I would feel even more uneasy and wouldn't know what to say.
But deep down I know that such worries are actually unnecessary. How can I see her in the same place every time?
Just as I was in a daze, my phone suddenly rang in my pocket.
When I saw that it was Chen Jin calling again, I really thought he was being too fussy. It seemed like he could make anything into a topic and then chat with me about it.
I immediately expressed my feelings verbally, saying to him impatiently, "What is it now? Can't you leave me alone for a while?"
"You really didn't go to Shanghai with Yang Sisi?"
"If I had a replay, I'd definitely get a 100-inch screen and put it right in front of you so you could see for yourself how I came to Shanghai alone... I've already explained it to you, so what the hell is there to doubt!"
"No, you misunderstood me again... Yang Sisi just called me and asked where you were. I said I was in Shanghai, and she was shocked... That's when I realized you weren't lying to me... But why did you lie to Yang Sisi? Why did you say you weren't in Shanghai!"
I was so surprised that I was stunned for a while before replying, "Before I answer your question, can you tell me why she specifically called you? I don't remember you two having any private contact!"
"This all started with you! ... She said that when she was talking to you on the phone just now, she felt that something was off about you, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it, so she called me to ask what was going on."
"Why does this sound so complicated to me!"
“If you don’t understand, let me explain it again… It’s like this, we talked on the phone before, you told me, you’re in Shanghai…”
I couldn't stand Chen Jin's rambling anymore, so I interrupted him and said, "Stop talking, I'll figure it out myself..."
"What are you still thinking about... This matter is not complicated at all... Yang Sisi will definitely call you later and ask you why you lied to her when you were in Shanghai."
I sighed... It seems that being understood too thoroughly by someone is not a good thing... Just like Yang Sisi, she simply made a phone call to me and was able to sense that something was wrong with me, and then she found out my whereabouts from Chen Jin.
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