Therefore, it's really not appropriate to expose your pain and scars to others. Even if the person listening genuinely wants to comfort you, pain that can be soothed by someone else is no longer pain.
I don't know how long I lay in the aisle, but by the time I sat up, the Bund had gradually returned to calm.
And I should calm down now...
Because life must go on.
I made some tough talk to Ye Zhi, saying I would be better off than her. If I carry this feeling into the next day, it would be a sign of my incompetence.
...
When I got back to my hotel, it was already 12:30 a.m. I really wanted to call Lao Mi and my mom. I knew they were already asleep, but I tried anyway.
A moment after the call connected, Lao Mi answered. He asked me, a little confused, "Why are you calling so late?"
"I'd like to chat with you for a while..."
Old Mi noticed something was wrong with me. He seemed to sit up straight in bed and asked me with concern, "Is something wrong?"
I laughed and said, "It's nothing, Dad... I just wanted to tell you that I'm back in Dali... A couple of days ago, I bought another house in Dali. It faces Erhai Lake and backs onto Cangshan Mountain. The scenery is amazing... If you and Mom are bored at home, come and stay for a while."
“We’re doing fine at home, so you don’t need to worry about us.”
"Well, if you're not coming over anytime soon, I'll make time to go back... It's time to take you to the hospital for a check-up."
“You’re such a worrywart! ... It’s better for you to manage your career and life well in Dali than anything else... I can get this check-up done in half a day in Chengdu by myself.”
"I was just worried."
"I'm eating well and sleeping soundly now... What are you worried about?"
I didn't know what to say for a moment, and Lao Mi said again, "When you have time, pay more attention to Lu Jia... I don't know how you two got along this past year, but I always feel that you don't care about her very much."
“She is studying abroad, and I am in China… When we are apart for a long time, we have fewer things to talk about, but I always think about her.”
"It's good that you're thinking about her... Once she comes back, you two should get married as soon as possible... Whether you stay in Dali or come to Chengdu, we won't interfere, but no matter where you are, you two have to make the most of your lives... Only then can your mother and I feel at ease!"
"I know."
Have you called Lu Jia recently?
"There is contact."
"Have you talked about marriage yet?"
"We talked about it... I'll make a detailed plan with her when she gets back."
"Hmm... If you let Lu Jia down, where will you find another girl as good as her!"
No, it won't.
“After she returns to China, your mother and I will go to Dali to visit you... and we can stay in Dali for a while.”
"Okay...we have our own house, so we don't need to bother with anything else outside."
Old Mi felt comfortable with these words. He smiled and asked, "Whose name is on the deed for the house you bought in Dali?"
"It's mine."
"Add Lu Jia's name too... Don't be reluctant about this... She's been living abroad and isn't young anymore. You need to show her some consideration so she can feel at ease!"
I was a little surprised. I didn't expect Lao Mi's approval of Lu Jia to have reached this level. After all, the right to be named on a house is a very sensitive matter for two people who are not married. Moreover, there is a house in Chengdu that belongs entirely to Lu Jia.
But I didn't argue with Lao Mi. I told him that when Lu Jia came back, I would definitely add her name to the list.
...
After ending the call with Lao Mi, I felt like I had been reborn. My attention was finally drawn back a little... Not only Ye Zhi, but I was also about to face marriage. So God is fair. If Ye Zhi and I both felt that the other was true love, then in the end, I didn't marry for love, and of course, she didn't marry for love either.
Like most disillusioned men and women, we eventually stray further and further down a wrong path.
But if love has its rights and wrongs, I don't admit that I'm wrong, because in my relationship with her, I've always been the one being chosen. I've had enough, and I've been hurt enough!
...
After a sleepless night, I dragged my very heavy body to Hangzhou the next day... I spent two days in Hangzhou in a very depressed state, without gaining anything special, and then returned to Shanghai on Monday.
This is an agreement between Yang Sisi and me. I've thought it through. Once I've fulfilled this promise, I will completely reclaim my heart and then wait for Lu Jia to return.
Yes, it's good to think this way. At least before I left Shanghai, I made sure Yang Sisi and I were even... And in the future, we really can't keep in touch as often.
...
At dusk, I sat alone with my luggage by the artificial lake in Yang Sisi's villa area, waiting for her.
When she contacted me before, she said she would be home around eight o'clock.
It's just past 6:30 now.
Actually, I didn't need to come so early, but I didn't want to stay in Shanghai for another night, so I bought a plane ticket to Dali for 12:30 am. I didn't book a hotel, so I can only wait here.
As darkness fell, the landscape lights along the lake lit up one after another, like horses galloping across the water.
But under the brightly colored lights, my heart felt terribly monotonous, and then, in the black and white world I created for myself, I tried to guess what Ye Zhi was doing.
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