I smiled and replied, "We're starting a business together; we're partners. It's not like you're helping me."
"Brother, do you think I'm the kind of person who can start a business?"
"Be confident. If you can't start a business, why would I need you?"
Wednesday was silent for a while
Then she changed the subject and said to me, "Brother, I've never understood why you don't want to be with such a wonderful girl as my fourth brother?"
"I've been asked this question by many people."
"I think she really likes you... When I was chatting with her today, she kept saying how good you are, how great you are."
"In my eyes, she's a good person too... But I have a heavier burden on my heart and a heavier family burden than she does... I don't know how to tell you this..."
After a brief pause, I continued in a low voice, "I'm engaged to my ex-girlfriend... To be honest, the feelings might not be the same anymore, but she's definitely a woman very suitable for marriage... Especially when my dad was sick, she gave up her studies abroad and helped me share the burden, taking care of him for months until he was discharged from the hospital... These favors weigh heavily on my heart... My parents also really approve of her... Plus, I still have some lingering attachments, so I've always been confused about relationships... Actually, I know it's simply a matter of choosing between living for myself or living for someone else... But when it comes to actually choosing, I still lack a bit of courage!... San San, can you understand how I feel?"
There was no response on Wednesday. I turned over and looked in his direction; he was already asleep…
It's not his fault, after all, he was tired from traveling all day and it was already late at night... But I, who was also tired from a day, suddenly couldn't fall asleep.
I lit a cigarette and inexplicably remembered what Yang Sisi had just said to me.
I'm already this old, it's time for me to have a family and children! Drifting around like this, without a fixed abode, is really quite lonely.
I tried to convince myself that I should just settle down and marry Lu Jia... At least my parents would be happy, and at least it would seem like we were following the path of most people...
...
I fell asleep with these thoughts in mind late at night, so I inevitably had some dreams related to this... The dreams weren't peaceful, because Lu Jia was dissatisfied with my current state again.
Then, I experienced all the pain that had arisen in Shanghai three years ago.
...
When I woke up, I was in a really bad state. I lay in bed thinking for a long time: Is Lu Jia really that kind of woman? Does she need to see enough hope in me before she will put in extra effort? Otherwise, she will be very anxious and insecure?
(End of this chapter)
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