The rain wasn't heavy, just a light drizzle, but the feeling of it hitting my skin was incredibly real. There was a slightly fishy, earthy smell in the rainwater. The road was wet in patches and dry in patches, and weeds had grown where the road had been crushed by cars. When the wind blew, they swayed more than the rain.
This is what "Majiuyi" is like now, and it's unknown how long it will take to regain its former vitality.
I finally turned to look at Ye Zhi and said to her, "Why is it that when I recall those times we were together, most of it is painful... but you feel happy? Aren't these things we went through together?"
After a brief pause, I continued, "You don't need to answer this. I already know the answer in my heart... Because we've never been equal. You're never afraid of losing me, but I'm afraid of losing you... How can someone who's always living in fear be happy when they think about the person who hurt them?... Hehe, knowing you as I do, you usually won't give me a straight answer when I say these things."
The wind tousled Ye Zhi's hair, which she habitually tucked behind her ears before whispering, "Because I'm just as lost as you, even anxious and insecure... But I can't be reckless... You know what? Sometimes, I want to lean on a shoulder, especially when I have nightmares. That feeling of fear is suffocating... I haven't slept with the lights off in a long time... because demons live in the darkness!"
After a moment of silence, Ye Zhi continued, "There's a difference between you and me. When you think of me, you feel pain, but most of the time you're happy because you're in Dali and have a few close friends. I spend most of my time in pain, and I only feel happy when I think of you... because I'm in Shanghai, standing at the forefront, facing a large corporation full of power struggles... Even if I have no desire to fight, others might not let me off the hook... But I firmly believe that I will see the dawn..."
I had many feelings in my heart, but in the end I just smiled wistfully and said, "I thought waiting for someone was the most heart-wrenching thing. After hearing what you said, maybe what you want to wait for is the hardest thing!"
"You can choose to wait for someone in the most beautiful place, like Dali with its romantic scenery, a perfect place to wait; but waiting for dawn, you can only endure in the darkness, with no other choice..."
After a moment of silence, Ye Zhi smiled and said to me again, "Can you skip stones?"
"meeting."
"There's no fence around where that white car is parked... Let's compare."
"I'm in a wheelchair, and I can't exert any strength..."
"How many floats can you manage at most?"
"Seven or eight times."
"If I get more than ten, I win... If I win, you have to promise me one thing."
What if you lose?
"I never do anything I'm not sure I'm doing."
...
In the rain that drifted by like silk, Ye Zhi pushed me to the spot without a railing. She found a thin stone on the ground and threw it out before my eyes. Her technique was so good that the stone began to glide as soon as it touched the water's surface, eventually floating 11 times before sinking into the water.
"I lost. What do you want me to do?"
"When you think of me again in the future, don't hate me..."
"I hate the you of the past... I don't hate the you of the present... No matter who you are with in the future, or what kind of life you live... I hope you are happy, at least happier than you are now... I give up, I give up on both the good and the bad... I want to wake up from this dream now."
Ye Zhi nodded and chose to face Erhai Lake, with her back to me.
I said behind her again, "Now even the advertising business has stopped... Let's never see each other again, never again."
"good."
I straightened my keychain, then poked it into the SIM card tray and pulled the SIM card out. Then, with all my might, I threw the phone into Erhai Lake…
This phone was once everything to me, because it was a gift from Ye Zhi…
More than two years ago, I went to Sanya and rescued Ye Zhi from those troublesome fishermen. I lost my cell phone because I jumped into the sea, and Ye Zhi bought me this phone. She also bought the same model for herself, only the color was different... It was obviously a couple's phone.
So even though the configuration is far behind the mainstream, I couldn't bear to change it...
Ye Zhi's phone was long gone... She was now using the latest mobile phone on the market.
I'm not saying she's heartless... it's just that many things have indirectly shown that we really can't go back.
I don't hate her anymore. Just like these things I threw away, although they will still exist in my memory, they have lost their most important meaning...
...
Back at the hospital, I lay straight on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling... It wasn't until my mom and Lao Mi came into the ward carrying a huge woven bag that I realized I was leaving tomorrow.
In that instant, I felt a strange sense of attachment to this place, for in this room I had witnessed the coldness and warmth of human relationships.
...
My mom swept the floor and then started tidying up my belongings... During this time, she kept talking, saying one thing to Lao Mi about me and Lu Jia... They couldn't understand why I was so unwilling to be with Lu Jia.
They said that Yang Sisi fed me soup.
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