When Dai Qiang asked me about Yang Sisi, I suddenly fell into a daze. I remembered the life-or-death moment that Yang Sisi and I encountered in the wilderness when we went to Shangri-La... I was heartbroken because this was also a relationship built on life and death.
I carry too much on my shoulders, too much... but my abilities are only so limited. It's as if I'm trapped by something enormous.
After finishing a cigarette, I finally spoke to Dai Qiang, saying, "Don't ask anymore. I'll handle my own affairs... You should go back and rest."
Dai Qiang sighed, glanced at me again, and then turned and left.
Once he was completely out of my sight, I slammed my fist into my leg, which was still throbbing... I was filled with resentment. If I could be like a normal person, I could do so much more... At least, I wouldn't have given up the food delivery advertising business...
This kind of pain can only be understood by those who have experienced it.
...
The next day, I went to the airport early in the morning. When I was about to go through security, Wednesday sent me a message. He said that he couldn't help but tell Yang Sisi about my trip to Shanghai. Before I could reply, Yang Sisi called.
I hesitated for a moment, but then answered the call.
I could tell Yang Sisi was in a very bad mood. She said to me, "Michael, what do you mean?... You dragged your broken leg all the way from Dali to Shanghai, why didn't you contact me?"
"Time is too tight..."
"You're talking nonsense... You dare say you came to Shanghai not to find me?"
Before I could even speak, Yang Sisi continued, "You don't need to explain to me... I won't believe anything you say... Where are you now? I'm coming to find you right now."
"Sisi... don't waste any more time... I'm already at the airport, I'll be going through security soon."
"You bastard...you're not allowed to leave, wait for me."
I looked up at the line in front of me before replying, "Stop cursing. I can probably talk to you for another ten minutes. Let's have a good chat, okay?"
"I don't care... I just want to see you, now, immediately..."
"The plane is taking off in forty minutes. Even if you come now, it's too late..."
Yang Sisi sobbed, still cursing me as a bastard.
I felt terrible too. After another moment of silence, I said to her in a low voice, "I admit, I came to Shanghai specifically to see you... I sat across from your dad's company for half a day... but I still couldn't muster the courage to call you... I don't know how I feel... I'm in such a bad state right now... I've reflected on everything I've been through, and I'm truly a useless man... Every major event in my life has been influenced by women... I really can't bring myself to accept everything I've ever had..."
"You bastard..."
"What you're saying has nothing to do with me?"
"Sisi... Although I didn't get to see you in the end, I'm so glad I came... I gained so much... Sisi, wait for me a little longer. Once I've found myself again, I'll come to Shanghai and take you away..."
Yang Sisi sobbed for a moment, then choked out, "Can I really trust you?"
"Have I ever let you down all these years?"
"Apart from feelings, you've never disappointed me... but that's what I fear most!"
A wave of indescribable bitterness welled up inside me, and after a long pause, I replied, "I won't let you down again... I really can't afford to be indecisive anymore. I have to focus on making my career a success... I crave success more than ever now, not just for myself, but also for..."
Before I could finish speaking, Yang Sisi interrupted me, questioning, "You said your leg was healed, so you came to Shanghai to find me... doesn't that mean it anymore?"
I don't know how to answer.
Yang Sisi was on the verge of a breakdown, sobbing uncontrollably: "To come to Shanghai for you, I... I even cut off my hair that I'd been saving for over a year... I just wanted you to see... my best... most authentic self... I even planned out where to take you to eat something delicious that day... Is this how you treat me? You use a lie... to fob me off... You might as well just stab me to death... I've waited so long... waited for you for three years, and this is the day... and you just come up with some bullshit excuse... and deny it all!"
My heart was breaking, and I couldn't bear to hear her say these things. After a moment of silence, I finally spoke to her and said, "I promise... Once my leg is healed... I will definitely come to Shanghai again."
"Is it going to be the same as this time, where the person comes but doesn't meet me?"
"I will definitely meet with you."
"Swear it."
"I swear, if my leg heals and I haven't come to Shanghai to find you... may I be struck by lightning and die a horrible death!"
"I don't want you to die... If you can't keep your promise, you'll be alone for the rest of your life, and you'll never have the person you love most... Do you dare to promise?"
"Okay... If I can't keep my promise, I'll be alone for the rest of my life."
Only at this moment did Yang Sisi calm down a bit. She whispered to me again, "I believe you... It's been over three years. I've gone to Dali to see you time and time again. Do you know how I felt?... Every time, I would think: If one day... you could come to Shanghai to see me with the feeling that you want to be with me... I would die happy! Really... So, I'll wait for you, no matter how difficult it is, I'll wait for you..."
I remained silent for a full minute, and Yang Sisi did not hang up the phone during that time... Her breathing seemed to be right next to my ear, clearly audible.
"Sir, please put your phone and other electronic devices in this box. We need to inspect you."
I checked.
I looked up at the security guard who was speaking to me, and was startled again. I quickly said to Yang Sisi, "I have to go through security now..."
The instant I hung up the phone, I heard Yang Sisi's heart-wrenching sobs...
...
I've already passed through security, but Yang Sisi's words are still lingering in my mind... I must be really sick, that's why I didn't choose to meet her after arriving in Shanghai.
I really want to know who has the "medicine" that can save me; or perhaps it has always been in my possession, but I just haven't noticed it.
(End of this chapter)
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