After Chen Jin booked my flight from Lijiang to Shanghai, I went back to my accommodation to pack my things. I didn't bring much luggage, just a backpack that I always carry with me, containing some clothes and toiletries.
I threw my crutch into the house. I didn't believe I was a cripple. Even if I was faking it, I had to make it look real.
...
When I came out, Chen Jin had already smoked two cigarettes. He said to me, "I've already told them that you have to go out to discuss some things temporarily, and that you'll treat them to dinner when you come back... Everyone knows you're very career-oriented, so they're all quite understanding."
"Um."
“I still suggest you stay in Shanghai for the surgery… I’ll have IA transfer 100,000 yuan to you later, you can use it first.”
"No need to transfer it. I haven't touched the money you gave me last time."
"This has nothing to do with whether you have money or not... We can't come to Shanghai to take care of you, so we can only wait for you to come back here. This is just a small token of our appreciation..."
"Don't even mention waiting, that's the word I dread hearing most right now!"
As I spoke, I walked towards the door with Chen Jinzhi. Although I pretended not to care, I felt really bad because I couldn't put any weight on my heels. If I walked even a little faster, I would limp. I could see my reflection in the glass. I was a cripple!
...
The airport in Lijiang is not far from Dali. If you take the highway, it only takes about an hour. So when Chen Jin dropped me off, it was only noon.
I didn't say a word and got out of the car, preparing to head towards the terminal. Chen Jin caught up with me again, handed me a bag, and said, "These are your medical records and electromyography results. Take them with you; you'll need them at the hospital over there."
"I may not receive treatment in Shanghai."
“There’s no better place than Shanghai. If you’re hospitalized there, Sisi will take care of you. But if you go to other cities with better medical facilities, who will take care of you?”
“Going back to Chengdu is fine too.”
"If you go to Chengdu, you'll really break your parents' hearts... Your dad's health isn't good either, don't let him suffer like this!"
I stared blankly at the traffic flowing past me, a wave of sorrow washing over me. I felt the world had been unfair to me; I had endured so much pain over the years…
I know that being strong is the only way for me to survive, but there are moments when I still can't control myself and these sad and negative emotions arise.
Do you have any cigarettes?
Chen Jin hurriedly took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, but just as he took the cigarettes out, he suddenly put them back and said to me very seriously, "Focus on your rehabilitation treatment and quit smoking and drinking."
"I can quit drinking, but I don't know how I'll get through the rest of the year if I quit smoking... I'll just smoke less."
Chen Jin couldn't persuade me otherwise, so he lit a cigarette for me, but he looked at me with concern... probably because he felt I wasn't self-disciplined enough, or maybe he was worried about my mental state.
I took a deep drag of my cigarette, then patted his shoulder and laughed, "I'm fine, I was just a little disoriented when I first left the hospital... Actually, thinking about it, fate hasn't been so unfair to me... Back then, my dad was in such danger, but he's recovered so well now; maybe I made a trade with God back then: I suffer a little today in exchange for my dad's safety... There's no better deal than that, I've made a profit... Hehe!"
"Only you would think like that... It's good that you think like that, at least it sounds much better!"
"...I'm leaving now. Drive carefully on the road."
I had already walked quite a distance when Chen Jin shouted from behind, "There's no hurdle in this world that can't be overcome... You have to relax... I'm waiting for you in Dali, bring Sisi back with you... Believe me... As long as you don't give up, whether it's in love or career, you'll be the biggest winner among us... Your strength won't allow you to give up... Don't you dare choose to be a bastard... You hear me?!"
I instinctively stopped in my tracks, wanting to turn around and say something...
I didn't turn back in the end. I just threw away the half-smoked cigarette in my hand and walked towards the terminal.
...
This time, I didn't try to be mysterious. Before boarding the plane, I sent Yang Sisi a message to tell her that I would arrive in Shanghai in the evening.
I didn't try to understand her feelings, so after sending the message, I turned off my phone... Maybe she received it immediately; maybe she didn't even notice the message until I got off the plane.
But for me, whether I receive it or not is not important. If I don't see her at the airport, I'll go to her dad's company to find her... This time, I came to Shanghai just for her.
...
After a flight of more than three hours, I arrived in Shanghai again. Unlike before, this time I was much calmer than ever before, probably because my purpose was particularly clear. Anyway, I didn't think about many random things.
I was just guessing what Yang Sisi would wear if she came to pick me up at the airport.
She'll probably wear a down jacket, because it's already quite cold in Shanghai, and she's so afraid of the cold.
Speaking of cold, it really is quite cold! I wasn't prepared and was only wearing a sweatshirt and a not-so-thick jacket, so as soon as I stepped out of the airport, I couldn't stand the chill; the cold in Shanghai is a damp cold, a cold that chills you to the bone.
I instinctively tucked my clothes in, then turned on my phone...
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