In the movie's finale, Yang Sisi and I stared at each other. I tried to snatch the bottle of skincare product from her hand again, but she hugged it even tighter than before and yelled at me, "What are you doing? You want back something you gave away?!"
"Give it to me. You've never used something this cheap before, and I'm afraid you'll waste it!"
"I'm so poor right now, how much more waste can I possibly make... Stop messing around, you're disturbing the people behind you who are watching the movie, that's not good."
"Stop talking nonsense and take it back."
"I was wrong, I was wrong, isn't that enough..."
"Where did you go wrong?"
"I should have acted especially surprised and unexpected... I shouldn't have said those sarcastic things to you knowing you have a sensitive heart."
"It's too late, give it back to me quickly, I'll take it to Bai Lu."
Yang Sisi looked at me with some displeasure, and after a while replied, "What kind of hero would give it to Bai Lu? ... If you have the ability, give it to Ye Zhi, and I'll give it back to you... I'm afraid she'll look down on it even more. She's very rich. Don't you see the skincare products she uses? Many of them cost tens of thousands of yuan."
I immediately deflated, then shifted my gaze from Yang Sisi and said, "Is there any point in saying all this?"
"Coward!"
While looking down on me, Yang Sisi stuffed the skincare product into her purse, and then told the audience behind her who had been dissatisfied with us for a long time that I had something wrong with my brain and that they should not take it to heart.
...
This free movie left me feeling emotionally drained, so much so that I was still a little depressed when I got back to the guesthouse. I had no desire to sleep, so I sat alone by Erhai Lake, taking a drag of a cigarette and a sip of beer, as usual.
Erhai Lake is different from the Bund. The skyscrapers on the Bund compress your pain into a single point, then pierce your most vulnerable spot like a bullet. Erhai Lake, on the other hand, without towering buildings or bustling crowds, gives you a sense of openness. It's like a giant pot that can hold all your sorrows, and the wind is like the flame at the bottom of the pot, quickly boiling your sorrows and turning them into steam that disappears into the horizon...
In a daze, I received a call from Lao Huang. After I answered, he went straight to the point and asked me, "What's your decision about bringing me back to Shanghai to be a product manager?"
"Didn't I make this very clear to you last time? Why are you bringing this up again?"
"This position won't stay vacant forever; the higher-ups are already looking for someone... I can't keep it vacant for you indefinitely despite the pressure, so I'm calling today to confirm with you one last time... I don't want you to have any regrets later, feeling like I didn't fight for you."
"There's no such thing as regret. You don't need to worry about me. Everything is going smoothly."
Old Huang chuckled, then asked in a low voice, "What's going on with Sisi posting about what you've been doing on her WeChat Moments every few days lately?"
A sense of foreboding washed over me, and I replied, "No way, why would she keep messaging me for no reason?"
"Then I'll have to ask you."
I was speechless, but I felt this was something that needed to be explained... And in my silence, Old Huang sighed again and said, "Michael, after thinking it over, I still think it's not right for you to stay in Dali... I've already spoken to your father on the phone and told him about your current situation. You should prepare yourself mentally..."
My heart skipped a beat, followed by a feeling of suffocation. I snapped, "Are you senile?... If I really had some kind of shady relationship with Yang Sisi, would I dare let her post those things on her WeChat Moments? I'd be trying to keep it a secret from you all. Would I do something so stupid?... We're just friends. She's all alone in Dali, all alone and helpless. I'm taking care of her, so what?"
"I'm not going to say anything more. Even if I shot myself in the foot, you still haven't put my mind at ease."
I was furious and started swearing: "Fuck your mother... How could you be such a coward!"
Old Huang hung up the phone, and I was trembling with anger. I felt like my world was collapsing at that moment... I shouldn't have messed with Yang Sisi. From the moment we met, she was destined to make my life miserable.
Before I could recover from the shock, my dad called again. I couldn't bear it and felt completely overwhelmed... At that moment, the only thing that could help me vent and calm down was the cold water of Erhai Lake.
I ripped off my coat and plunged into Erhai Lake. In the suffocating feeling of being constantly suppressed, I heard the phone left on the shore ringing incessantly. I also saw a version of myself built entirely of lies, and Lu Jia's face, which she had abandoned for the sake of life. I was tormented beyond measure, so I dived even deeper...
After the bone-chilling cold, a warm illusion finally came over me. I seemed to hear a gentle call, and Wang Lei was nestled intimately behind this gentleness... I had a feeling of being on the verge of death. For a moment, I even wished to die like this and live in another world, as a hero, a millionaire, or a great person who could control his own destiny.
“Michael, face it like a man… You are not a slave to life, you are a seed growing in the sun, you will become a big tree.”
I know this is a hallucination caused by suffocation, but I still want to hear her continue... because after experiencing death, she can only exist in my mental world in this way, giving me the courage to fight against this world and life.
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