Accompanied by dreamlike lights, Ye Zhi drove from the ancient city to Xiaguan. Following the address I got from Nicole, I found where Bai Lu was staying. It was a very old district with no decent amenities nearby, just a dirty and chaotic vegetable market. If I hadn't seen Bai Lu's car parked nearby, I wouldn't have believed she lived in such a place with no quality of life whatsoever.
The reason I didn't contact her beforehand was to see what kind of life she was living. If I made an appointment with her in advance, given her personality, she would definitely create a glamorous facade to appease me.
This is not hard to understand, because people care about their image, so no one wants to show their down-and-out side to others, especially since Bai Lu was always the undisputed exquisite woman in our eyes.
...
I found the room where Bai Lu was staying and knocked on the door. Bai Lu asked who it was, and I told her it was Michael. She was silent for a long time before opening the door for me.
I glanced inside instinctively. The room was cramped, with almost no living room. The oppressive feeling was even worse than the cheap rental I used to live in in Shanghai. But that wasn't the worst part. When I saw the ashtray overflowing with cigarette butts and countless empty beer cans, I couldn't quite describe the feeling in my heart.
I never imagined that a woman could be so miserable when she falls on hard times!
...
Bai Lu had me sit on the sofa, while she stood against the corner of the wall. She lit a cigarette for herself and then asked me, "How did you find this place?"
"We have so many mutual friends, it won't be hard to find this place."
"Is something the matter?"
“I’m going to Thailand soon to see you. It’s the last thing I want to do in Dali. I hope you won’t make things difficult for me and can get this done. That way, I can truly fulfill all my wishes before I leave.”
As I spoke, I took the key that Coach Ma had given me out of my pocket and placed it on the coffee table along with the note with the address written on it.
Bai Lu looked at me with some confusion.
I explained further, "This is a house that Lao Ma bought for you. It has two bedrooms and a living room, which is more than enough for you to live in by yourself."
Bai Lu first showed surprise, then her expression became complicated. After a long while, she finally spoke to me, saying, "Isn't he a monk, detached from all worldly desires? Why is he still thinking about me?"
"Others become monks for spiritual practice, but he truly turned being a monk into a profession... Do you believe that the money for this house was what he saved up during his two years as a monk?"
"I don't care where he got the money to buy the house, but I really can't accept his stuff!"
I smiled and replied, "Why say such hurtful things?... Can you honestly say you're not moved at all?"
Bai Lu's eyes were red-rimmed, and she took another deep drag of her cigarette.
They avoided my gaze.
After a moment of silence, I continued, "Actually, it was quite unnecessary for Lao Ma to ask me to do this... Tell me, who in this world understands him better than you?... So, you should also know what he's thinking..."
"Does it matter whether I know or not?... He never considered my feelings; he's just a selfish person!"
"Don't say he's selfish; you didn't consider his feelings either."
"How else can I consider his needs?"
Bai Lu spread her hands, looked around, and said angrily, "You see, this is the kind of life I'm living now... In the two years he went to Jizu Mountain, I've been in a daze every day, nothing goes right, and the little money I had was all lost in business... I'm already this old, I can't possibly keep shamelessly begging my family, can I?!"
“It’s not shameful to ask your family for help. I think your family must have asked you for help as well.”
"I've looked for jobs, and they've even found me a marriage partner... But Michael, do you think that's possible?"
After a moment of contemplation, I replied, "I can't give you a conclusion, but if you've really considered Lao Ma's feelings, you should go back to your family and accept their arrangements."
Out of anger, Bai Lu said "I know" several times in a row, and then fell silent. During this time, she lit another cigarette. She could no longer control herself and shed tears of grievance in front of me, a man who was several years older than her.
She choked back tears as she said, "Of course I know what he's thinking... but I'm not resigned to it... I want to wait a little longer, maybe one day he'll understand..."
He said that one cannot betray the Buddha.
"Don't listen to his nonsense! ... Michael, I can't accept this key. I'm going to make him feel like he owes me something. If one day he feels like he doesn't owe me anything anymore, then it's really over between us!"
"Why are you doing this? ... You could choose to be like Peach... Besides, Lao Ma is different from Tie Nan. As long as you're doing well, he's willing to support you."
"I'm sorry, I'm not a peach."
...
In the end, I couldn't persuade Bai Lu to accept Coach Ma's house, but I left the key with her. I think it's time for her to have a serious talk with Coach Ma. Whether she accepts the key or returns it, it's up to her to decide. I no longer have the means to return it for her, because after tonight, I will no longer belong to this city.
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