Deep down, I can't bear to hear Coach Ma say these things to me, because what he's saying now is exactly what I've always wanted to say to him... If he had a correct view of love in his emotional life, he wouldn't have divorced Bai Lu and then become a monk at Jizu Mountain.
He's the type who talks a good game but does terrible things... I have a hundred reasons to disagree with him.
So I said to him again, "When it comes to matters of the heart, we're both equally guilty, so let's not argue... I'm just asking, besides relationships, what else is there that I'm afraid to face challenges with... When we opened the inn and Cao Jinbo schemed against us, wasn't I the first one to stand up to him?... When the inn was demolished, wasn't I the first one to run to Jiulongju and pull off a heist?... After Jiulongju, it was Chen Jin's bar, and I was the one who rushed to the front lines and saved the bar... You have to be honest with yourself. All these years, I've been going against the grain, how is that being afraid to face challenges?... Is it because I don't defend myself that you all think I'm a pushover?... Let me tell you, if I, Michael, really get tough, I can flatten the earth and then roll it back up... Stop bullying honest people!"
After saying these words, I felt a surge of cathartic pleasure; but to my surprise, Coach Ma coldly replied, "When I talk to people, I only focus on the key points... I just heard you say that besides relationships, what else is there that you're afraid to face? So, does that mean you're admitting that you're inactive when it comes to relationships?"
My head was a little fuzzy, then it started buzzing. I don't like the feeling of being seen through by others, even if he is my best friend... But what he said was a fact.
When Lu Jia wanted to leave, I didn't stop her... I felt it was a way of letting her go.
Ye Zhi is back, and I didn't force her to give me an explanation... I think this is a kind of leniency.
In the end, Yang Sisi... clearly had some feelings for him, but due to health issues, she still chose to give up... In the end, it all came down to letting him go.
I guess I'm a pretty ruthless person, because I actually drank bowl after bowl of that Meng Po soup that can poison people...
...
Coach Ma, as if he could read my mind, patted my shoulder and said, "Michael, there aren't that many perfect matches in this world... When it comes to feelings, you have to be a little selfish... If you like someone, you have to care. If you don't, you'll be heartbroken... I don't believe that if you shamelessly pursue Ye Zhi, you won't be able to win her over!... Just wait outside her company every day, waiting for her to come and go from get off work, then do things she likes, say things she likes... Unless, she doesn't have feelings for you... otherwise, there's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't win her over..."
I took those words to heart, so it took me a long time before I replied in a low voice, "As my friend, haven't you always hoped that I would treat Sisi well?... Why did you suddenly change your mind?"
"I'm telling you all this because of Sisi... and so on."
Years have passed, and she's given you her whole heart, but you're still the same. This proves you truly don't have her in your heart... Rather than this, you might as well give her a clean break... So, go find the woman you can't forget... Make her your wife, let her bear your children, let her accompany you in doing everything that brings you joy and excitement... That way, you won't have lived in vain..."
I remain silent.
Coach Ma lit another cigarette. This was the longest I can remember us ever talking about a single topic...
“Michael, what I’ve told you is actually for my own benefit… I’ve figured it out, but it’s too late… Bai Lu is already married.”
I turned sharply to look at Coach Ma and replied, "Don't joke around... Before I came to Thailand, I specifically went to see Bai Lu... During our conversation, I didn't hear her say anything about wanting to marry someone else... I've only been in Thailand for a short time!"
“Isn’t it possible for a person to change in an instant? ... I didn’t dare tell anyone about her marriage to someone else, firstly because I was afraid people would laugh at me; secondly, I really felt guilty... Tie Nan and I have already gone through this, so please don’t repeat the same mistake.”
Who is her fiancé?
After a moment of silence, Coach Ma replied, "It was arranged by her family. I heard it's a high-ranking official... and she's been divorced before."
"Then her relationship with her family should have improved by now, right?"
"It's not just about easing tensions... her father and her brother both gained political resources because of her marriage..."
With some emotion, I said to him again, "Bai Lu has finally become the person you wanted to be... Are you happy?"
Coach Ma stared blankly at the distant lighthouse, then fell into a deep silence... And I finally understood him. The word "to fulfill" sounds noble at first glance... but sometimes, it is also the root of pain.
Bai Lu must be in even more pain than him... because Bai Lu is the one who is truly waiting. If she hadn't been truly desperate, how could she have let her two years of waiting turn to nothing?
Old Ma shouldn't have gone down the mountain; Jizu Mountain was his final resting place... because after the White Dew solar term, he probably would never find another woman who treated him so well!
...
Back at my place, I forced myself into a frantic work mode, even taking on the entire renovation budget, something I wasn't good at... I just didn't want any time to think.
But when I actually lay in bed, I was perfectly awake...
I thought of the last time I saw Bai Lu before I came to Thailand... I can't quite remember what we talked about... I just believed that she would always wait for Coach Ma... But times change... In the end, she married someone other than Coach Ma!
As I sighed, I couldn't help but think of myself.
It was at this moment that Yang Sisi sent me a WeChat message. She asked...
Are you asleep?
"Not yet... Why aren't you asleep yet? It's already very late back home!"
"I'm already in bed, but I suddenly remembered something I wanted to tell you... You mentioned wanting to buy a car before... My uncle's BMW 5S dealership happens to have a test drive car for sale... If you want to buy it, I'll buy it for you first, I think it's a good deal."
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