Hi~ This website's domain name is abbreviated as 166s, which is easy to remember! 166s is a great read and highly recommended: I never dreamed that An'an would say these things to me. In my mind, she should be the one among all my female friends who has gone the furthest from me, because we haven't known each other for very long. Even Nicole and A met before her. Of course, I know that feelings between people cannot be measured by time... But An'an falling in love with me is really like a dream, a dream full of falling leaves, a desolate scene everywhere.
This is how I feel right now. I can't give her anything, and I feel that revealing my feelings like this is a bit too abrupt.
But then I thought back, wasn't that exactly how I confessed to Ye Zhi back then? And feelings are always something that happens quietly.
The reason I've been thinking so much in a jumbled way is because I don't know how to handle this situation. Even though An'an is right, and she is indeed the perfect woman for me, I still can't accept it psychologically.
This isn't about being emotionally fastidious; it's that I simply lack the ability to quickly move on from one relationship to another.
...
I finally spoke, looking at An'an with an expectant expression, and said, "It's not April Fool's Day today, why are you playing such a big joke on me?"
An'an's expression instantly turned cold. She lowered her head and said to me, "I know you look down on me. If only we hadn't been friends in the first place! You wouldn't know so much about my past. We were just strangers who met by chance in a coffee shop, fell in love at first sight, and were completely innocent with each other!"
"You've misunderstood me; it has nothing to do with this."
As I said those words, I suddenly felt dazed... Wang Lei's image suddenly appeared in my mind, then gradually overlapped with An An's face, and finally merged seamlessly together.
I vaguely remember it was a night when Wang Lei and I were drinking at the night market. She was probably in high spirits when she put her arm around my shoulder and said, "Michael, you're just a poor guy from the mountains of Sichuan, while Lu Jia is a native Shanghainese. Have you ever thought about what will be left between you two after the passion fades? ... Only the difference in your regions and the disparity in your social status... You must be having a tough time right now, right?"
"It's quite tiring!"
“Look, she doesn’t care about you as much anymore… Last time you were drinking like a ghost to entertain your boss, and when you called her, she wouldn’t come to pick you up. In the end, I had to skip work to go and get you.”
"She had to work overtime that day; it was a special circumstance."
"That's quite a novel excuse! ...Does that mean I don't have to work? I work in the nightlife industry, and the nights are the busiest time, but I still go... Michael, is it really worth it for you to keep putting on this act? ...I don't think you and Lu Jia are going to stay together forever!"
"You're just spouting nonsense... I'm not drinking anymore, this beer tastes like horse piss... I'm going back to sleep."
"You finally treated me to a meal, and you think you can just leave halfway through? No way!"
"Can't you talk to me about something fun?"
"Want to be happy? That's easy! ... Let me ask you a question first: Do you look down on me? Do you think I'm just someone who works in nightclubs?"
"If I looked down on you, would I be here partying with you? We're the best of friends in the world."
Wang Lei glared at me and retorted, "Who the hell wants to be your buddy?" Then, she leaned closer to my ear and said with a fawning smile, "If things really don't work out between you and Lu Jia, consider me... I'm also a poor girl from the mountains of Sichuan, I don't look down on you; I don't want you to do anything beyond your capabilities, and I definitely won't force you to buy a house. We'll just rent a place, you just need to cover the rent, everything else will be taken care of... Anyway, as long as you can make do with me, I can make do with you too... Making do is fine, haha!"
I picked up my glass, looked at her, and replied, "You go out there singing and drinking with other men... and then I spend the money you earn... I'm really shameless enough to do that!"
I was just about to take a sip of my drink when Wang Lei suddenly slapped the glass out of my hand, spilling beer all over the floor. She stared at me coldly as she did so…
I then realized that I had said something I shouldn't have, but it was indeed a thought that was in my subconscious.
Unexpectedly, Wang Lei suddenly burst out laughing and said to me, "Are you an idiot? ...Don't you know today is April Fool's Day? ...I was just joking with you. Do you think I, Wang Lei, would even look at a man like you? ...Besides your pathetic loyalty, are you as rich or as generous as my customers? ...Damn it, you always bring me to eat at roadside stalls. Can't you be a little more generous and take me to a nice restaurant for a meal?"
...
When I came to my senses, I realized how similar the scene was. An'an's appearance was like a continuation of Wang Lei's... I let out a soft sigh, then looked up at the sky. It was completely dark, the high temperature was gone, and there was a slight chill in the wind.
I looked at An'an again. She was squatting on the grass by the roadside, unwilling to look up... I had hurt her pride.
But I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there beside her, watching blankly as one motorcycle after another sped past us.
Suddenly, I felt that she was a little different from Wang Lei, because Wang Lei was always just getting by, while she was just right.
Yes, everything is changing. I have gone from being a man who accomplished nothing to a man who is about to achieve success. So why can't Wang Lei go from being someone who just makes do to being someone who does things perfectly?
In that instant, I felt a flutter of emotion, because I had so many regrets and so much disappointment with Wang Lei.
There's no possibility between Ye Zhi and me anymore. Am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life?
...
For a period of time extremely
After a long silence, An'an spoke up. She forced a smile and said to me, "Weren't you going to buy a watch? Hurry up and go, or they'll close down."
"Um."
An'an put on her helmet, and after I got on the motorcycle, she sat down behind me. But this time, she didn't hold my waist like before. There was a gap between us, and the wind blew through the gap, making my back feel cold.
This is the feeling of loneliness. I've been single for far too long!
...
After rushing, An'an and I finally arrived at the "King Power Duty Free Shop" before 8 o'clock. However, when I was about to park my motorcycle, the staff told me in broken English that the store was about to close and would not open until 9 o'clock the next morning. But my plane ticket was for 9:30 in the morning, so there was no way to avoid the time difference.
(End of this chapter)
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