After sending that message to Yang Sisi, I suddenly had a strange feeling. It was as if I had been torn open in the vast, boundless darkness, and I was cautiously peeking through this opening, looking out into another world... I saw countless sights I had never seen before, like standing on an Antarctic glacier and looking up at the aurora borealis on the horizon, or like a garden of a hundred flowers blooming in a riot of colors after being blown by the wind.
I really wanted to step inside and take a look, but when I looked down, I found myself on a thorny path that seemed to have no end... I wasn't sure how far my flesh and blood could go on this path, so I couldn't help but look back... In the oppressive darkness, there was still a faint light flickering somewhere.
After hesitating for a moment, I chose to stay where I was, and the opening closed up in an instant.
I knew what this meant, so I sat on the recliner for a long time, lost in thought.
These strange visions are all subconscious self-expressions. The new world is Yang Sisi, and the old world is Ye Zhi... This is my biggest contradiction right now, and also the pain I have to face during this transitional phase, because there is never any love that can be achieved overnight in this world... To outsiders, I can appear carefree and relaxed, and even be confused and self-deceiving, but the things deepest in my heart will still flash like a lighthouse at some unexpected moment, and then 'force' you to face them.
...
Lost in thought, Yang Sisi replied to the message: "This world is really scary. A straight man like him can actually say things to make a woman happy... But you succeeded. Even though I know you're just pretending, I'm still very happy!"
I sat quietly for a while before replying, "When you're alone in Shanghai, you have to learn to take care of yourself."
"Okay, I know. Wear more clothes when it's cold, and remember to eat on time... You're such a nag!"
"If you could correct this careless habit, who would want to nag you for no reason?"
Yang Sisi seemed unwilling to waste time on these mundane matters. She changed the subject before I could say anything, saying, "I want to change my hairstyle... can you help me see which hairstyle looks good?"
After that message, she sent two more pictures. The first picture showed her with an elfin-style French short bob, and the second picture showed her with medium-to-low layered, slightly wavy long hair...
I don't know much about hairstyles, but I know this so well because I specifically looked up relevant information online.
I am a very observant person, so when I first looked at the two pictures, I already noticed the problem... The first picture is actually the hairstyle Yang Sisi had when I first met her, and the second picture is a hairstyle that Ye Zhi had used for a long time.
This was probably Yang Sisi's way of testing me... She thought I couldn't remember these details, so my subconscious answer would make her see me more clearly; she didn't want to be a substitute for Ye Zhi.
Ultimately, I chose to let her keep her hair short.
She seemed very happy and asked me when I was going to Shanghai.
My answer remained the same: I told her to go once her leg was better...
She said that on that day, she would pick me up at the airport with the hairstyle I like.
It sounds so romantic... Unfortunately, we didn't specify the exact time of our meeting, down to a specific day, hour, and second.
Because I don't know when my leg will fully recover.
...
The next day, I woke up early, washed up, and went downstairs with my crutches. After this period of recovery, my leg was in much better condition than before. A few days ago, I couldn't touch the ground at all, but now I can make slight contact with the ground and put some force on it, so I feel a sense of security when I step on the ground.
I expect that in another month, I will be able to walk completely, and even jump around.
...
My mom made me breakfast, and while I was eating, she sat with me in the yard. Old Mi didn't come; he said he went for a walk in the old town.
I wanted to add some sugar to the porridge, and as soon as I looked up, I noticed that my mother was looking at me with a very complicated expression.
I scooped a spoonful of sugar into the bowl, then asked with a smile, "Mom, why are you looking at me like that? It's making me feel uneasy!"
"Did Lu Jia come to Dali today to pick up the house keys?"
I pretended not to care: "You've already talked to her, why are you asking me again?"
"I just want to hear your opinion."
“I definitely need to talk to her.”
What should we talk about?
“I have to get the house back from her… Even if our family owes her a favor, the house in Chengdu is enough to pay it back.”
"Are you really that determined?..."
"Relationships can't be forced... So, when we were in Shanghai, she wanted to break up, but I didn't pressure her or negotiate anything with her; I think she must understand this principle too..."
"Don't you think about what Lu Jia is going to do? ... She's a young woman, almost 0 years old. It's going to be hard for her to find someone she likes at this age!"
"You're just being nosy... She won't lack men."
My mom accused me of not speaking human language, but the image of her between someone else's legs flashed through my mind... Then I subconsciously grabbed the chopsticks in my hand, feeling very uncomfortable... If I were her, I would hand over the house without hesitation, but she just wouldn't.
I suppose this is a difference in our thinking; we are from completely different worlds.
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