Chapter 45 I call this plan the truant version of the Wandering Earth Plan
"Shh! Keep your voice down!"
Hearing Li Ping'an's scream, Zhang Dongyang quickly covered her mouth, looked left and right, and only let go after confirming that there was no one around.
"Junior sister, I haven't told anyone about this, except you. Please don't betray me."
That’s right, the trouble that Li Ping’an encountered was that Zhang Dongyang wanted to escape from school before the parent-teacher meeting.
He knew that his own strength was limited, so he approached Li Pingan for help and advice.
The cause of this incident was that Zhang Dongyang did very poorly in the final exam. He was afraid that Director Zhang would see his report card at the parent-teacher meeting and beat him up, so he had the idea of running away from home.
But what really made him make up his mind was a phone call from Director Zhang last night.
Director Zhang somehow found out about the parent-teacher meeting in advance. Although he didn't know Zhang Dongyang's final exam results yet, he was very dissatisfied that he didn't become the class monitor.
"The experience of being a class monitor can add points to your resume. Dad doesn't ask you to do better than him in the future, but you can't be worse than him. When I was studying, I thought..."
"He always talks about how he was when he was in school. He's awesome at this and that. But I have no way to verify what he was like in school. Whatever he says is true." Zhang Dongyang said indignantly to Li Pingan, "I think my dad is PUAing me."
Li Pingan looked at him sympathetically, "Then you wouldn't have to run away from home. Your father is doing this for your own good."
"How come even you, Junior Sister, are speaking for my dad?" Zhang Dongyang looked hurt. "Are you on my side?"
Li Pingan quickly comforted him: "Of course I stand on your side, but..."
No buts.
Zhang Dongyang interrupted her and said, "I call this plan the truant version of the Wandering Earth Plan."
Li Pingan: “Huh?”
Li Dongyang said confidently: "The earth is wandering to escape the explosion of the sun, and we are wandering to escape the explosion of our parents. How about that? Isn't it very appropriate?"
Li Pingan: "..."
How did it become "us"? She didn't want to be a street child at all.
Zhang Dongyang doesn't care. In his plan, Li Ping'an is a very important part.
He directly announced his plan to skip school.
One of the Thirty-Six Stratagems is the Self-Torture Stratagem.
In simple terms, it means pretending to be sick.
Li Pingan raised his hand and asked, "But the physical fitness of extraordinary people is better than that of ordinary people. How can you suddenly make yourself sick?"
Zhang Dongyang smiled mysteriously: "You don't have to really get sick."
Li Pingan was stunned. "What do you mean?"
Zhang Dongyang took out a tube of toothpaste and a box of chewing gum and showed them to Li Pingan, “I found a very good way to pretend to be sick on the Internet. First, apply toothpaste on both sides of the temples, gently massage to fully absorb it, and then chew a mint-flavored chewing gum. Ah, what a cool and refreshing feeling. Next, take deep breaths for ten minutes, hehehe…”
After a while of fierce operation, he could feel the wonderful change of the gradually rising temperature of the solar plexus.
Now it works.
He waved to Li Ping'an and said, "Junior sister, hurry up, help me up, I have a fever."
"Ah!" Li Ping'an hurriedly supported him and touched his forehead with his palm. Sure enough, he found that his body temperature was higher than usual. This was too magical.
"So what do we do next?"
Zhang Dongyang said confidently: "Help me to the infirmary. The teacher in the infirmary will definitely notice that my body temperature is abnormal. Then I can pretend that my SAN value is dropping rapidly due to high fever and I am about to turn into a ghost. The school will definitely send us to the correctional institution. On the way there, we can find a chance to escape."
"Well, does this idea sound good?"
Li Pingan looked at him awkwardly: Uh, this idea doesn't sound very good.
Zhang Dongyang was immersed in the fantasy of successfully escaping from school and couldn't extricate himself.
Squad leader Lu Yuan passed by them and asked curiously, "What are you doing?"
The next second, he noticed Zhang Dongyang's flushed face and exclaimed, "What's wrong with you?"
When the first audience member arrived, Zhang Dongyang closed his eyes and began to pretend to be weak.
Li Pingan swallowed nervously and stammered, "He, he has a fever."
Please forgive our poor little Ping An, she is not very good at lying yet.
When Lu Yuan heard that Zhang Dongyang had a fever, his expression suddenly became serious, "What, a fever!"
The flu is prevalent outside recently. It would be dangerous if Zhang Dongyang was accidentally infected.
Fortunately, he was prepared. He took out a thermometer from his arms, inserted it into Zhang Dongyang's armpit, and then took out a handful of antipyretic drugs from his arms.
"Don't worry, I have all kinds of antipyretic medicines here, I guarantee they will cure your illness."
Li Pingan was dumbfounded. She looked at Zhang Dongyang who was pretending to faint, then looked at the medicine in Lu Yuan's hand, and said hesitantly, "Do we still need to go to the infirmary?"
Lu Yuan said enthusiastically: "If the fever is not very high, take some antipyretics and it will be fine immediately."
Li Pingan: “Ah!”
Lu Yuan looked at her strangely: "Student Li Ping'an, why do you look so disappointed?"
Li Pingan was startled and waved his hands quickly, saying, "No, no, you are seeing things..."
"It's time. Show me the thermometer."
Li Ping'an slowly pulled the thermometer out from Zhang Dongyang's armpit. She suddenly had an idea and thought of the magic her uncle taught her. She secretly made a hand gesture, tightly held the mercury end of the thermometer, and then handed it to Lu Yuan.
Lu Yuan took out the thermometer and said, "Don't worry, Zhang Dongyang looks fine. There shouldn't be any serious problems... Damn, his fever is 48 degrees!"
Zhang Dongyang sat up in shock from his dying illness, "What!"
He snatched the thermometer, took a look at it, rolled his eyes, and fell to the ground.
"Student Zhang Dongyang! Student Zhang Dongyang! Student Zhang Dongyang, please hold on!" Lu Yuan slid and hugged the fainted Zhang Dongyang like a princess.
Because the other person was overweight, they both fell to the ground in dismay.
Even though he was in such a difficult situation, Lu Yuan still did not give up his determination to rescue Zhang Dongyang. As the class monitor, he would not abandon or give up any classmate in the class.
During the golden three minutes of rescue time, the methods he used included but were not limited to: pinching the Ren Zhong point, pressing the chest, and artificial respiration.
Three minutes later, Zhang Dongyang woke up slowly.
Lu Yuan cried with joy: "Student Zhang Dongyang, you finally woke up!"
The good news is that the careful Li Ping'an discovered that the thermometer bought by Lu Yuan was broken, and it turned out to be just a misunderstanding.
The bad news is that after Zhang Dongyang woke up, he had chest pain, swollen lips, and a black philtrum.
Knowing that he was rescued by artificial respiration, he looked at Li Pingan with the last glimmer of hope.
The one doing the artificial respiration is my junior sister, it must be my junior sister, right?
Li Pingan avoided his gaze and looked at Lu Yuan guiltily.
Lu Yuan wiped the sweat from his forehead and said thankfully: "Fortunately, I know some first aid methods. Hiss——" He touched his lips and smiled at Zhang Dongyang: "I used too much force. My mouth is broken."
The light in Zhang Dongyang's eyes was completely extinguished.
Ahhhh, I'm not clean anymore!
The self-torture tactic failed completely.
After washing his mouth, Zhang Dongyang squatted in the corner outside the bathroom, mourning his lost first kiss.
Li Pingan stood beside him, looking guilty and said, "I was afraid of being exposed, so I secretly heated the thermometer, but I didn't expect to overheat it..."
Zhang Dongyang raised his hand to stop her, and said with a sad face: "Little Junior Sister, it's not your fault. I didn't expect a squad leader to show up halfway."
Li Pingan: "What should we do next?"
Zhang Dongyang regained his composure and quickly got back on track.
This plan didn't work, so he came up with another one.
"Little Junior Sister, think about it, is there anything that needs to be transported out of the school every day?"
Li Pingan tilted his head and looked at him.
Zhang Dongyang snapped his fingers and said, "Yes, it's garbage."
It only takes three steps to mix it with the garbage and carry it out of the school.
The first step is to collect the garbage.
The second step is to stick the garbage to yourself and wrap it up into a circle, perfectly disguising yourself as a big piece of garbage.
The third step is to stay quietly in the garbage dump and wait for the cleaner to drive the garbage truck to take me out.
"How is it? Is it simple?"
Li Pingan nodded, "It sounds pretty reliable."
Zhang Dongyang patted his chest and said, "Hehe, there will be absolutely no problem this time."
The first step is to pick up the trash.
Two children found the school's garbage station.
Standing in front of the huge garbage station, looking at the mountains of garbage, flying flies and unpleasant pungent smell.
Zhang Dongyang retreated inwardly.
This stinks too much!
Li Pingan glanced at the garbage station and hesitated, "Do you really want to go in?"
But if he fails to escape from school before the parents' meeting, he will face his father's wrath.
Of two evils, choose the lesser one.
It's okay to be a little smelly, it's better than having your head beaten to pieces.
Zhang Dongyang nodded solemnly towards Li Pingan, "Junior sister, wait for my good news."
Then he stepped into the garbage station with a heroic mood.
A few minutes later.
A disheveled figure stumbled out with a foul odor, vomiting as he ran: "Ugh! Ugh! Junior Sister! Ugh! Junior Sister, save me! Junior Sister, save me!"
Li Ping'an, who had faced up to evil spirits before, was so frightened this time that he ran away with his nose pinched.
Zhang Dongyang stretched out his right hand towards her back: "Ugh! Junior sister, please don't leave! Ugh! Ugh!"
For the next three days, Li Pingan didn't dare to approach Zhang Dongyang.
Zhang Dongyang also suffered serious psychological trauma. When he saw a trash can on the road, he couldn't help but retch on the side of the road.
Qi Yu couldn't help but mock him: "Are you pregnant?"
Zhang Dongyang: “…Ugh!”
Qi Yu: "!!! Don't spit on my shoes!"
The second plan failed.
Zhang Dongyang was very sad.
"That won't work! Then I can only use my ultimate move."
Li Pingan asked curiously: "What is the ultimate move?"
Zhang Dongyang turned his gaze towards Li Pingan - the little green dragon behind him.
That’s right, he wanted Xiao Qingjiao to become the principal and take him out.
Although this method is risky, if successful, you can escape from school without bloodshed.
Everything went smoothly at first. The security guard at the gate didn't realize that the principal transformed by Xiao Qingjiao was a fake, and was happily ready to let the two pass.
When I turned around, I saw another principal standing at the school gate.
The smile on the security guard's face froze.
He rubbed his eyes vigorously, looked left and right, and said, "Hey, this, this, this, could it be that you, the principal, have a twin brother or younger brother?"
As soon as the principal came back from outside, he looked at himself and then saw Zhang Dongyang standing next to him. He knew what had happened.
His beard raised and he roared, "Zhang Dongyang, come here!"
Zhang Dongyang: “…”
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